| LONG ENTRY FROM SOMEONE EMOTIONAL Wow, I haven't really blogged on xanga in FOREVER....not a whole lot going on in the world of Brandy....well I can't really say that... I can't wait for classes to begin and for more people to be on campus. I've been here all summer with just a skeletal staff (but they were awesome girls) and I can't wait until I can be social again. I've enjoyed my summer over all, Brandi was in Berea...but we talked all the time. Creech was just in Oneida so he came over once in awhile, but mostly I hung out with Kyle this summer. We had so much fun going to different concerts and going fishing when the weather was nice and just hanging out in general.
I'm really feeling kind of lost without him right now. He left yesterday "officially" for Pharmacy School. I know in my mind that Lexington isn't that far away, but I can't tell my heart that.....it seems as though he's across the country because I won't see him around campus or I can't just hop in my car and drive out to Bald Rock. I wanted to call him 1001 times yesterday just to see if everything was okay, but I knew that wouldn't really do me any good because I'd get all emotional again (shhh..he doesn't know how upset I am). I honestly was having such a hard time yesterday that I did what I always did in years gone by....I picked up the phone to call my grandma who always was there to comfort me and cheer me up, but I realized that as I held the phone in my hand that she wasn't here anymore. Never again would she be on the other end of the phone line for me to cry too.
For those of you who don't know...my grandma passed away this summer and it's still really hard and now with me being one big ball of emotion it's even harder. I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through the semester. I've become accustomed to having a group of friends around me at all times and this year it will be sooo different not to mention hard because everyone has graduated or has moved on to other schools. Creech is still here, but I'm afraid he and I are drifting apart in our friendship. Brandi is still here, but it's hard because she doesn't live on campus anymore and with her work schedule and everything I'm not sure when I'll get to see/hang out with her. Kyle has graduated, Gretchen has graduated, Karen has graduated, Sarah has graduated and is now married, Kevin has graduated, Ricky has transferred schools, C is doing his own thing in London, Beth is working in another building, so I'm feeling a lot of things right now, but the most domineering emotion is loneliness. I didn't really mean for this entry to be soooo down (or long for that matter), but I just can't help it sometimes. I feel like I'm stuck and can do nothing about it.
On a happier note, I am excited about my staff this year. Things last year were "interesting" to say the least. I loved my girls last year and I think they are all really good people, but maybe some of it had to do with most of us being new to our positions.....not really sure, but this year I have a feeling is going to be AWESOME in the way of Roburn Hall and its staff and activities. I think I'm going to get going now....I guess I'll write again in a few months when I have some time. |
