im in the library with kyle. i didn't go to sleep last night. and it snowed. yay.

"Jesus keep me near the cross"

SO, i'm here at home, thanksgiving break is amazing. I love being at home, and, to tell the truth, there are SOOOOO many things to be thankful for. SO I think im gonna make a list...

1.The amazing sacrifice Jesus made cuz He loved us sooo much, to give us our freedom...freedom from sin and emptiness and hopeless life. Freedom to be ALIVE!!!! Freedom to speak and sing His name without feeling guilty, freedom to come to him at anytime and be close to Him and feel complete and totally, wholly loved for everything we are, without any guilt or sin or distance and vague feelings of uneasiness getting in the way. 

Unwielded power,
unyielding love,
absolute commitment
determined love.
A man all broken,
yet never pierced
determined lover
conquers the fierce
with meek surrender
with love that's free,
He gave them His life-
He died
for me.

2.The chance to live for my Jesus after He lived, and lives for me! The chance to honor such a beautiful love.

Beautiful Love Lyrics (The afters)

document.write('MP3 Downloads

'); document.write('Send The Afters polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone

'); Far away, I feel your beating heart
All alone, beneathe the crystal stars
Staring into space, what a lonely face
I'll try to find my place with you

Chorus:
What a Beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love

Larger then the moon, my love for you
Worlds collide, as heaven pulls us through
The secret of the world is written in the stars
I'm carrying your heart in mine

What a Beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love

Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe our love will catch like fire
As is burns through me

Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe our love will catch like fire
As is burns through me

Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe our love will catch like fire
As is burns through me

What a Beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My Beautiful love

What a Beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My Beautiful love

3. The fact that someday we really will see Jesus and get to be with Him forever and I"LL GET TO GIVE HIM A HUG!!!!!!

You Lyrics (the Afters)

document.write('MP3 Downloads

'); document.write('Send The Afters polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone

'); My heart is as frail as a dove
And my spirit is as weak as a rose
See my sorrow, feel my pain
You're my refuge, You're my reason
My strength in this beautiful place
That's where I find God

~Chorus~
You're in my heart, You're in my soul
You are my heaven, You're my home
You're my best friend, You're my true love
You are my treasure, You're my God

I watch as the mountains fall down
And the rivers part at your feet
Your creation sings Your praise
Even wings obey and angels bow down
At Your beautiful voice
That's where I find God

~Chorus~
You're in my heart, You're in my soul
You are my heaven, You're my home
You're my best friend, You're my true love
You are my treasure, You're my God

You're in my heart, You're in my soul
You are my heaven, You're my home
You're my best friend, You're my true love
You are my treasure, You're my God
You are my peace, You are my joy
You are my Savior, You're my God

4. My wonderful wonderful family, that loves me unconditionally and always listens and supports me and prays for me, and where i feel totally accepted and at home and loved. God is sooo good to me...

5. My wonderful amazing boyfriend, who is the most selfless, patient, loving, understanding guy I could ever ask to know!

6. My awesome friends who are always there for me whenever they can be, and who listen, are patient with my quirks and my ramblings and the problems that i have over and over again, who do insanely crazy things with me and make me crack up to no end, and who pray for me. My mommy and daddy and sister Chrissy and brother Jon and grandpa...they are absolutely the best ever and i love them soo soo much and dont know what i'd do without them. Oh thank you Jesus!!!! THank you!!!

7. My amazing church family here in NJ, their faithfulness and support of me and nurture and love and fun! And for my wonderful church family in Searcy at Downtown who are my home away from Home (*cough cough the isoms cough cough*)

8. My home that is wonderful..and well..homey..and warm. man God's given me soo much!

9.MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10.Poetry..Writing..the ability to express myself and emotions and pour it out all on paper ...God's beautiful creation, His beautiful love

11. Nature..GOd's gorgeous fingerprints and result of His ingenious, artisitc, poeticically beautiful and divine mind.

12: LOVE!!!!!

so, do ya'll like how i update this once a month? lol. heres a good poem... my sister just showed me. im at home by the way.  I LOVE  NEW JERSEY!!!!!!!!! and the computer actually works here! yay.

Mary Had a Little Lamb:
Mary had a little Lamb
His fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The Lamb was sure to go
He followed her to school each day
Twasnt even the rule
He made the children laugh and play
To have the Lamb at school
And then the rules all changed one day
Illegal it became    
To bring the Lamb of God to school
Or even speak His Name  
Everday it got worse and worse
And days turned into years  
Instead of hearing children laugh
We heard gun shots and tears
What must we do to stop this crime
Thats in our schools today?  
Let the Lamb of God come back to school
And teach our kids to pray.  

Thats a GOOD point. hey im writing in color! this is a new experience for me. well, i flew home this morning, and there was a french dude sitting next to me, and he was actually nice, so down with stereotyping the french!!! lol.  im just so tired i cant think straight. i dont even think i spelled that right. oh well. poop on spellcheck. aww its sooo sooo nice to be home, with my daddy playing piano and my mommy cooking and my sister showing me everything shes dones, said, or heard in the last every moment of her life that i wasnt here, and my brother doing his technology thing... he made a video where he brings this little dude out in his hands and puts him on the kitchen counter and tells him to dance for the camera...and the little dude is actually him, shrunken and transposed over the other pic..its hilarious! oh the things my brother can do. I get to go to church 2x this week! im soo excited...but im more exctied to be home. im actually starting to feel like downtown in searcy is my church home, wierd as that is. ok the bed is calling me. its calling really loud too. actually its screaming..heavy metal screaming. now imagine that.

Currently Listening Say It Loud By Sanctus Real see related

So I decided this is my theme song for this year.... its called "say it loud", by Sanctus Real..

And maybe tomorrow, we'll forget about this year,
And all the things you wish you could change.
Show me some kindness in the midst of the hardships,
Cause things should never be this way.

Say it loud, say it loud and clear.
Forget about, forget about last year.

Stop wishing it were backwards, it is now or never.
Stop wasting all the time we could have spent together
Wishing you would come back here.
Times were better last year.

And all of your reasons, they change with the seasons,
Day by day they're not the same.
And if you would measure all the
Times that we've treasured,
You would see how my heart breaks.

Say it loud, say it loud and clear.
Forget about, forget about last year.

Stop wishing it were backwards, it is now or never.
Stop wasting all the time we could have spent together
Wishing you would come back here.
Times were better last year.

Twenty hour drive through the Rocky Mountains.
Won't be stopping now cause you know we're rocking.
Tell me, what has happened?
The stereo's stuck with the jukebox jammin' now.

Stop wishing it were backwards, it is now or never.
'Cause you've been wasting all the time we could have spent together.
Stop wishing it were backwards, it is now or never.
Stop wasting all the time we could have spent together
Wishing you would come back here.
Times are better this year,
And will be better next year.

I feel like this is God talking to me.  There's alot of changes I wanna make this year, and I know God wants to make in me and in my life, and that I want Him to make... but sometimes im just too scared to let go and be out of control and let God be in full control of my life ... But i WANT to..LONG to do it..to have that freedom that comes from that.  I don't wanna waste the time i could've spent with Him anymore!!! I want to cherish every moment that He wants to put in my life..I want to live the breadth of my life..the width of it..the way God dreamed it to be, not just the length of it!!! Cuz if I let it into His hands...He could do and WILL do totally amazing things with it!!! Like.... i wanna get my priorities straight and begin to manage the tme God's given me well..and live by the priorities that I have set... which are

1) God

2) Family

3) Homework

4) Friends (sorry guys..gotta be scholarlly... hehe)

5) Everything else (I havent actually gotten any further then number 4 yet but it seemed like 5 was a good place to end)

Ya know...God gave me that FCS class for a reason..our first project is about goal setting. I need that sooo bad. and "My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Gotta trust Him.

And that's all I have to say for now. I love the way the sun flecks itself through the leaves and paints the uniformity of brick walls with gloriously frolicking warmth.

Jesus is Lord