"When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves."

You can't change yourself. You can't pick at all your flaws and try to "better yourself." I didn't think it would get to the point where I was ready to change anything and everything about myself just to be with someone. In the end, it turned out they didn't feel the same way anymore and now I don't know who I am or what I want. All I really have now is an empty feeling with nothing left but lust for something I can't have.

Spending $73 bucks to get your hair cut and dyed won't make someone notice you and spending an hour infront of the mirror won't make someone happy to see you. Listening to songs that remind you of someone won't make them want you and waking up in the middle of the night anxious to see someone won't change things between you. Telling someone how much you love them won't make them feel the same way if they never meant it all. All you can do is fake a smile and pretend things are okay once you realize people never change.

It's time to let go and get over my selfishness. As long as he's happy, that's all that matters.

Everyone's changing. Too many people smoke, too many people drink.  Too many people lie and cheat and do so without a care in the world. Too many people sleep around and have so many STDs I'm afraid to touch them. Jaclyn's completely right. People suck.

My horoscope for the day...
The affection you and this person have for each other isn't likely to go away, no matter what else happens between you.

"The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can image it. Because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die."

Currently Listening Fever To Tell By Yeah Yeah Yeahs Maps see related

I love my new layout becasue it is completely boring.

So here's what's new.

I got a paycheck and then went to the mall. I got this hot stuff from Victoria's Secret and when I wear it, I smell so good everyone wants to bang me. Then I got five shirts, a scarf thing, a lipgloss and of course, a pretzle from Auntie Anne's.

This week is Jaclyn's birthday, and my Lizzy's birthday is on the same day! I'm getting Jaclyn a free panty coupon for her birthday, and I'm probably going to get Liz something too.

Oh yeah. I like a boy.

And next Sunday I'm leaving for North Carolina. It will be my second vacation of my life. Yeah, my life just sucks like that. I hate the beach and the sun, but hopefully there will be a boardwalk so I can shop.

I think I'm going to end up in one of those shopaholic support groups one day.

"I'M SUCH A SPOILED BITCH!!!"

Sooo...

I went to the mall three times in one week. I got some new stuff and I'm getting my paycheck this Friday, so I should go get more.

The other day I went to coinstar with my dad. I saw Aaron for the first time all summer. So that was nice. Later that night, I went over to Jaclyns, we walked up to Kendig to visit people. Then after Aaron and Matt got off work, we all hung out. Then some random strong guy walked us home. I also got Jaclyn to overcome her fear of Victoria's Secret. Yay Jaclyn!

Jaclyn gauged her ears. Everyone should be proud.

Oh yeah. I'm getting a tattoo. I'm pumped.

"Shutup! I can put your people back into slavery!!!"
-Jaclyn

Oh yeah. Phil broke up with me and he made me sad. Now the entire world knows what a buttmuch he is!


Edit:
Abi is here. We were so amused with incense. We just burned it and watched the smoke for about an hour. We like burning stuff. We're probably going to go walk around now.