brinkletones's Xanga

Friday, July 30, 2004

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 22:13:09 GMT

to finally conclude my series of thoughts, the somewhat more obvious scriptural example of a Christian who struggled with being unappreciated while being obedient to what God called him to:

Jeremiah

He's commonly referred to as the weeping prophet, and I'd be weeping, too, if I went through what he went through.

Here's this guy who God's called to speak to His people, and it wasn't always the best news. Naturally, when a pastor or a friend tells us something that we don't like, regardless of whether they are right or not, it stings and we want to get mad at them. Jeremiah had nearly a whole nation of people mad at him because he told them exactly what God wanted to say to them. The people's rejection of Jeremiah affected him so dramatically that he even penned ...

"Yet I curse the day I was born! May the day of my birth not be blessed. I curse the messenger who told my father, "Good news--you have a son!" Let him be destroyed like the cities of old that the LORD overthrew without mercy. Terrify him all day long with battle shouts, for he did not kill me at birth. Oh, that I had died in my mother's womb, that her body had been my grave! Why was I ever born? My entire life has been filled with trouble, sorrow, and shame."

Take it from Jeremiah, it absolutely sucks to be obedient to God. It pissed him off and sometimes it pisses me off (pardon my bluntness) how we feel like we're continuing to live above reproach and all we get in return is to be marginalized, overlooked, unappreciated, etc.

However, I do love Jeremiah's example for a second reason. First, he was honest with his struggles. Second, he still chose to remain obedient to what he was called to do in spite of how much it sucked. Right before he throws out all that frustration, he also penned:

"Now I am mocked by everyone in the city. Whenever I speak, the words come out in a violent outburst. "Violence and destruction!" I shout. So these messages from the LORD have made me a household joke. And I can't stop! If I say I'll never mention the LORD or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones! I am weary of holding it in!
I have heard the many rumors about me. They call me "The Man Who Lives in Terror." And they say, "If you say anything, we will report it." Even my old friends are watching me, waiting for a fatal slip. "He will trap himself," they say, "and then we will get our revenge on him." But the LORD stands beside me like a great warrior. Before him they will stumble. They cannot defeat me. They will be shamed and thoroughly humiliated. Their dishonor will never be forgotten. O LORD Almighty! You know those who are righteous, and you examine the deepest thoughts of hearts and minds. Let me see your vengeance against them, for I have committed my cause to you. Now I will sing out my thanks to the LORD! Praise the LORD! For though I was poor and needy, he delivered me from my oppressors."

Scripture gives us the story of Jeremiah and many other humans who chose to obey God in spite of the fact that no one on this side of heaven would fully know the impact they are having. And I refuse to believe that those stories end with Revelation.

I guarantee you that every single person you meet has some value in them that deserves to be appreciated. If nothing else, God created them in His image and therefore gave them some attributes of Himself. Find them. Find people that pack your parachute. Find people that volunteer in invisible roles in your church. Find a guy on the street and listen to his story (well, be careful when you do that). If someone does something that you appreciate, thank them. If someone does something that honors you, find out their mailing address and write them a hand-written note. Serving might be their spiritual gift, but it doesn't mean that they need to be taken advantage of. Take the time to get to know people, get to know their stories, remember them, and thank them. (btw, a very easy thing to do to remember people is to put their birthday into a calendar and send them a card or call them. people appreciate having their birthday remembered).

I've probably been writing enough and I think I made my point and shared my thoughts.

signing off til who knows when again

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 22:34:41 GMT

I'll save the much more obvious scriptural example for later, but here's a character that I came across that was rather interesting ...

Andrew.

When I think of characters in scripture who were recognized for their contributions to the faith, the 12 disciples are among the more famous characters. However, very few Christians today (myself included at times) can name all 12 w/o looking it up. In fact, we usually can't name the ones that don't also share their name with a book of scripture (and then there's Judas).

So, naturally I was kinda surprised when I realized the impact that Andrew has had on Christendom. However, I've been around the Church my whole life and I can't recall a single sermon on Andrew. Here's what I journaled about Andrew a few weeks ago ...

Did Andrew ever feel slighted? He's hardly mentioned at all in scripture. He's one of Jesus' disciples and is mentioned whenever the disciples are listed. But even then, whenever the disciples are further identified, he's always "Peter's brother", but Peter's never identified at "Andrew's brother". Why not? Why the unequal treatment?

However, John tells us a little more about Andrew. The first thing Andrew did when he met Jesus was to go find his brother and tell him. Andrew even brought Peter to meet Jesus. Later, Andrew was the one who spoke up and said that a boy had 5 loaves and 2 fish.

Peter we on to become the rock of the early church. As we read early in Acts, Peter was the central figure (other than the Holy Spirit) in the beginning of the early church.

Regarding the 5 loaves and 2 fish, it's the only miracle outside of Passion Week mentioned in all 4 gospels.

Both of those came out of the faithfulness of one of the most insignificant disciples - someone who has to be identified as being someone else's brother.

Did Andrew feel slighted and insignificant? Maybe. Did that stop him from being obedient and playing a very significant role in two of the most significant elements of Christian history? No.

Nobody is a nobody. Not even Andrew.

How many parachutes did Andrew pack?

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 01:11:02 GMT

Here's another thing that happened recently that made me think about all this stuff (I could probably share hundreds of stories, but that'd bore people to tears) ...

When I was a freshman, one of the staff in our ministry shared her vision with me that one day no one would be able to say that the reason they didn't attend something was because they didn't hear about it (k, that was more than a double negative. ah well, I'm not an English major). What that led to was the creation of a web site and a listserve for our ministry. The web site was nothing to write home to mom about, but it met its goal. The listserve on the other hand was one of the single most effective tools in communicating to the movement what was going on.

All through the remainder of my years, I was well aware that no one knew the work that went on behind the scenes to keep the web site and the listserve going and up-to-date.

Every year there are some people who send an email to the whole listserve asking to be taken off it (not the procedure to follow to be removed from the listserve). Recently there was someone who did as such. I was about to delete the message, but it was from someone I've known for years (we were both students together), so I decided to read it. He actually wasn't making a mistake by emailing the whole listserve. He was saying his goodbyes, of sorts.

For about 4 years in school, I was managing pretty much all things technical in the movement. Some things weren't carried on, but some things were. Fortunately the listserve management was one that was taken over. This friend who emailed the listserve to say his goodbyes had his humor, but also tried to acknowledge those who made the listserve possible. He tried to honor those who had packed his parachute. The two guys who had taken control of the listserve after I graduated, he acknowledged them, however he couldn't remember my name.

I definitely wasn't acting alone. There are many people who have packed my parachute over the years. However, can you even imagine how hard it feels when you've put so much time and energy into serving others and then they don't remember your name? Unfortunately, probably every person who reads this (I'll pretend for a second that people read this) knows exactly what that feels like. It sucks. You know (well, maybe much later) that the person doesn't intend any harm, but it just sucks when you help someone out in some significant way and they either have no idea or don't seem to care.

As I'm thinking off the cuff right now, I wonder if that's why Christians have such a reputation of being so hypocritical. Life would be so much easier if God called people to serve in ways that they'd be recognized. It'd sure make it much more fun to serve and to care for people. It'd make it a whole lot more fun to send other people birthday cards if they remembered your own. It'd make it easier to ask others how they're doing and listen to their response if they listened to you.

But that's not real life. Real life is that people don't know who packs their parachute. Real life is that we don't want to go pick up the books of the strange kid at school because no one before has thanked us for doing that so why would this boy.

Real life makes it so easy to be a hypocritical Christian because a biblical view of Christianity just seems like a fairy tale. (yes, that's an intentional segue into my following posts on some guys in scripture who probably felt the same struggle - k, well, one of the guys I have in mind definitely felt the struggle and wrote extensively about it)

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Sun, 30 May 2004 14:42:43 GMT

Here's what sticks out to me about both of those stories: both illustrate an example where the impact of someone's actions is not fully felt or appreciated. In one story, a person's actions aren't even known, and therefore not appreciated, by the person he is serving. In the other story, the full impact of the person's actions isn't even known to himself.

Most of my thoughts are mroe in line with the parachute story, but the other does relate somewhat, too.

So, I've been thinking a lot lately on how much it sucks to serve people and then to have them either not know, not appreciate, or not reciprocate.

Christians know that the Bible says we are to "mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice." It really takes someone who is really compassionate (feels what others feel) to truly mourn with those who mourn. And when you're mourning, it is very comforting to have someone compassionately hold your hand through your tough time.

But what we know is really the harder thing to do is rejoice with those who rejoice. Why is that? Why is is so stinking hard for us to be happy for others' blessings? I believe that a lot of it is because we feel we deserve them too. We've been serving and serving and serving and continue to be marginalized and ignored and forgotten about and overlooked. How the heck does someone expect you to rejoice in others' good fortune when you feel like you're not even there, or when you feel like no one would notice if you're gone?

I have a few personal antecdotes and scriptural antecdotes along those lines.

Both during my time while living in Orlando and during my time back in Chicago, the serving that I've spent the most time doing has been in offering my skills on the computer to a ministry or to a church. In Orlando, I was working with a team of people would would put in up to 80 hours a week on developing software or doing tech support. These are husbands, wives, dads, etc. They have a life outside of their serving. In fact, in order to provide for their lives outside of their serving, they are responsible to raise their own financial support and develop a team of people who are praying for them regularly. All this to develop tools that are increasing the impact of tens of thousands of missionaries in almost every country of the world. These people are making a huge impact in introducing all around the world to a relationship with God.

But you'd have no idea if you were to ask someone about the organization, or even if you were to read some of the feedback they get.

Just imagine how aggrevating it is to be in that environment, you've brought frozen dinners to the office for 2 weeks so that you can put in 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, and then you deploy this application you've been working on and you only get complaints. The people you deploy to focus more on what's deficient with it than with how it helps them. The people you serve have no idea the sacrifice that was made to develop that application. The people you serve think 12 people worked on that one application, when in fact just on person worked on it while still supporting every other application they use to do their job. The people that see you every day ask you "Can you do this one more thing?" rather than "How are you doing?"

How did the person packing that guy's parachute feel knowing that he's saving figher pilots' lives and they have no idea who he is?

Secondly, how does it feel when the respresentatives of the organization never once mention that team when mentioning opportunities to serve? What if you were gifted in packing parachutes, but the Air Force only recruited pilots, and as a result they had no one packing parachutes and continuously lost pilots when their parachutes wouldnt' deploy? Imagine the impact that would have on the Air Force. Imagine how effective a church or a missionary organization would be if they only way you could serve was to share the gospel or to give food to the homeless. How would the organization get that food? How would those missionaries get their resources? How would you feel continually giving yourself serving in one of those roles while continually being overlooked because you're not in a war-torn or poverty-stricken country?

More antecdotes to come later, but lemme just say how much it sucks to be packing other people's parachutes while no one has any idea that you exist.

(disclaimer: I'm really not as bitter as these posts may sound. I've definitely had a lot that I've had to work through over the past 5 years or so. I wanted to focus on one aspect in these blogs, though, so that may make me sound more bitter than I am.)

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Thu, 20 May 2004 02:06:11 GMT

Here's the second story:

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a Communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now
lectures on lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!" Plum assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be
here today." Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy
uniform: a white hat, a bib in the back, and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has some- one who provides what they need to make it through the day. Plumb also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachute.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Thu, 20 May 2004 01:45:29 GMT

Well, I guess I'm ending my blogging silence now.

Well, it's not really an intentional silence. I've just not felt compelled to blog about anything for a while. I just kinda figured that I'd never have anything to blog about again.

So, I have no idea why, but there's been something on my mind for a while now (over a week) that I've been felt compelled to blog about. It'll definitely take a few posts to process it all. I have no idea why I feel compelled to blog now. I'm sure once I get it all typed out, it'll be another 6 months or a year before there'll be anything I'll blog about again. It's just that this is something I've been thinking about for a while, and every day there seems to be something new to add to it. A couple days ago, I thought "okay, fine, I'll sit down and type out all my thoughts on a blog." Then I didn't. And every day, there continues to be one more thing that'll compel me to blog about it. Tonight was no different. So, I'm finally caving in.

I've actually got two fictional stories to share, two biblical antecdotes, and two personal antecdotes (dunno in what order, tho).

I'll go ahead and share one of the fictional stories here and continue this in another blog.

As a little background, back in my early years in college (freshman and sophomore year) I used to go find inspirational Christian stories and email them out once a week to a distribution list I had. About half the list was people I never met. Some of the stories were cheesy and had predictable endings, but made a good point. Most of them are now familiar to most people as they have been forwarded around quite a bit. Here's the first of two that are on my mind right now:

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous.

Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Mon, 08 Dec 2003 10:44:11 GMT

He was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant. He grew up in another village, where he worked in a carpenter shop until he was 30. Then, for three years, he was an itinerant preacher.

He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never had a family or owned a home. He didn't go to college. He never lived in a big city. He never traveled 200 miles from the place where he was born. He did none of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but himself.

He was only 33 when the tide of public opinion turned against him. His friends ran away. One of them denied him. He was turned over to his enemies and went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed to a cross between two thieves. While he was dying, his executioners gambled for his garments, the only property he had on earth. When he was dead, he was laid in a borrowed grave, through the pity of a friend.

Twenty centuries have come and gone, and today he is the central figure of the human race. I am well within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, all the navies that ever sailed, all the parliaments that ever sat, all the kings that ever reigned--put together--have not affected the life of man on this earth as much as that one, solitary life.*

*Attributed to James Allen Francis

That was something our pastor read yesterday as he spoke on what it is that makes Jesus great. Another thing he said that also made me think ...

When we look at the typical manger scene today, does anyone ever say, "Oh, look! A camel!!", "Hey, mom, it's a stable!!", or even "Wow! Three kings from foreign lands! Cool!"? There's nothing about the manger scene that makes it great. Even the things that we would think would make it great (the pressence of 3 kings) are only there because they know something else there is greater.

It's been interesting to reflect on what makes things great typically, and then what makes Jesus great.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Wed, 03 Dec 2003 11:19:31 GMT

A xanga-only entry ...

(as a reminder/background behind that statement, my main motivation for blogging is to provide yet another means for people to connect with me, my ministry, and how I'm doing. my main blogging location is at alt60m.com/brinkley, and these posts are merely copy-pastes from that site, but this post only applies to xanga.)

I saw someone else do this, and I liked the idea, so I'll do it too ...

Thank you for the comment, loocie.

Thank you for subscribing, loocie, bruinfan, iblevn, wangdada, elfelia, and bon_choi.

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Tue, 25 Nov 2003 17:08:48 GMT

alrighty, so much for making this regular, huh? so I haven't blogged in a while. I'm not terribly interested in diagnosing why that is, but what immediately comes to mind is that maybe there's been so much on my mind that I haven't known where to begin.

so, I'm just gonna go ahead and make a really long blog and try to share everything that's on my mind.

I'll start off by breaking it down into categories ...

NEWS
well, news-related, there's probably only 2 things that are note-worthy of late: my impending decision of what to do after my internship and my new (since my last blog) relationship.

regarding my decision, there's really not much to say, I don't think. I'm thinking that I pretty much know what decision I will make, so that's somewhat comforting to be at that point; however, I need to talk with my supervisor before making any final decisions. now, some people who read this and have been in regular communication with me could pretty well guess what my decision will be, but I would like to very strongly reiterate that no decision will be made. one of the things that's been aggrevating recently has been when I have told people what I am leaning towards and then I turn around and the next person says with excitement "Oh, so you're going to _____?!" No! no decision as been made. I don't know what I will do next. also, regarding that meeting with my surpervisor, it's also been aggrevating how elusive that meeting is being. I've been wanting this meeting for a while, and the need for the meeting becomes more and more urgent when more and more family starts calling and asking about the decision. both my brother and my sister have emailed me in the past few weeks asking for an update (I know they're gonna grill me about my future decision). I'm gonna see my other sister this weekend. I really don't know how much longer I can go w/o having this meeting with my supervisor (there was one scheduled for today, but he just emailed our team saying he's sick.) it feels like not having this discussion with him, and holding off everyone else who's asking me is becoming a bigger stressor than the decision itself.

second piece of news ... so, yeah, I'm in a new dating relationship. hmm, don't really know what to say here about that. Her name is Devon Hoernschemeyer. She's from Cincinnati. She graduated in 2002 from Miami (OH) with a graphic design degree and has joined staff (if you don't fully understand what "joined staff" means, don't worry about it - it's not that important) and is a graphic designer here at headquaters. k, that's probably all the surfacy stuff. more about devon, she's an incredible woman (obviously, or else I wouldn't be pursuing her). for quite some time, I've been very content in my singleness. it's where God had me. there are so many more things that I have time to invest into as a single that I wouldn't have if I was in a relationship. sure, companionship would be nice, but I was absolutely not going to go actively looking for a relationship. devon reported (came here) in august, and there were a few months of just getting to know her just as someone else that works here. we were friends, we hung out, we did things that normal people do here. as I get to know people, I try very very hard to focus only on what gifts the person has, and how significant they are as a person (and hopefully as a friend). I want the person to know how valuable and valued they are as a person. I try to do that with everyone. however, as I was interacting with Devon, I was seeing some things in her that really struck me. her concern for others is the immediate thing that comes to mind. I seriously have rarely met anyone else who embodies Phil. 2:3-4 as authentically as devon does. and looking at what I have been through in my time here, that was extremely eye-opening. well, for a while after seeing a lot of these characteristics, I went from thinking "wow, we are blessed to have her here" to "wow, um, she's an incredible woman. hmmm." and I knew that if I didn't say something, then things were gonna get really weird really quickly. I probably woulda started doing stuff (without knowing it) to lead her on. or if I did tell myself that I shouldn't say anything, then I almost definitely woulda been living with the "what if". so, yeah, after watching on tv game 7 of the ALCS, I just said, "I'd like to get to know you better." and that's really all that I was thinking at the time. I really didn't know where it was going to go, but all I knew was that I had seen things in her that I couldn't ignore anymore. I wasn't actively looking for a relationship but I couldn't ignore this person. well, two days later she reciprocated those sentiments and we went on our first date the following Friday. things have gone extremely well. she really is an incredible woman.

SERIES
k, I think that's it for the note-worthy news. now to finish up something that I started a while ago. I was doing a series of blogs about things that we can do that are ministry but aren't exactly bulliten-board material, or may not even be something that anyone will find out about except those who would be ministered to.

well, I'll just go ahead and share all the rest of my thoughts here ...

call or write a letter to someone in the church who just had a baby, has cancer, lost a loved one, or was mentioned in the bulliten/prayer requests for any other reason.

call a parachurch ministry (homeless shelter, crisis pregnancy center, etc.) and ask if/how you can volunteer a few hours this month with them.

have lunch with (you don't have to treat) a missionary ("professional" missionary or whatever other adjective to put on it so as to mean people that work for missionary organizations vs. the true perspective that every believer is a missionary) in your church or in your group. doesn't have to be one that you support, but can be if you want. get to know them and what their ministry is. find out their vision for their ministry. note to missionaries: do not initiate the idea of them joining your support team - that's not the purpose of the lunch. but if, after hearing your vision, they initiate and want to join your support team, then so be it.

every sunday morning: on your own, or meeting with people at the church to do this ... pray for the church, pray for pastors, the elders, the deacons, the sunday school teachers and the volunteers who help with parking, setup/teardown, etc., prepare your heart for worship, confess to God and accept forgiveness, do what you need to do to show up at church ready to worship God.

every monday: on your own, pray for the church - the items in the bulliten, the people in the church who are celebrating or in need.

THOUGHTS
k, so that was the last of what I was going to share in the series.

this past saturday, devon and I spent the day at universal studios and islands of adventure (the roller coaster side of universal studios). there is a dr. seuss land in islands of adventure. the seasonal theme now is Grinchmas (a Grinch show). we caught part of the show as we were walking by. one line really stuck out to me ... "Mayor, what's the meaning of Christmas?"

naturally, the mayor of whoville gave a very seuss-y answer, and yes it's unfortunate that he doesn't correctly answer that question, but something else stuck out even more ...

"what's the meaning of ..." is such a common question that even seuss is putting that question in his books. people ask that question all the time in every context. media and entertainment are asking that question. they're even so desirous of a meaning, that they'll make up a meaning that they really believe is true. but it's absolutely fascinating how many times we hear the question "What's the meaning of ..."

I WISH PEOPLE WOULD ...
Do you ever see things in the world that really boil your bottom (or frost your cookies, as some people say)? I guess you could say they're pet peeves - that's one way of phrasing it. Or you could say they're passions.

there are a few things recently that I've observed in myself and in others that really charge me up, so I'll call this the "I wish people would ..." section.

It seems like all of these fit under the umbrella of I wish people would consider others better than themselves. I wish people would watch out for the interests of others.

to be more specific, clean up after yourself. when you're grocery shopping, and you load the groceries in your car, return the cart or put it in a place where it's not going to hit other cars. this is more for an office setting, but if you take the last cup of coffee, refill the pot. be considerate of those who come after you.

also, clean up after others. if you come across someone else's mess, it's probably because something urgent pulled them away w/o giving them a chance to clean up (well, at least assume that). It's far too easy to assume the worst and blame the person. be considerate, clean up after them. just like we think it'd be simple for the other person to clean up after themself, it'd be just as simple for us to clean up after them. (exceptions made when doing so creates undo expectations or when the person has a hard time connecting their actions with the consequence of their actions, but that should definitely be the exception.)

honor appointments. when you say that you'll do something, do it. when you say that you'll meet someone somewhere, meet them there. all-too-commonly we'll be laid back about our commitments. it allows us freedom to change our minds. it keeps us from stressing out. there are very good reasons for being laid back. however, when we're not honoring our word in the little things, how is the other person supposed to know at what point we will honor our word. we know that at a certain point, something is a serious enough promise that we will honor it, how will the other person know where that point is? the biggest thing that not honoring even "little" commitments communicates is that we don't value the other person's efforts to meet their end of the agreement. we don't and can't know everything that someone went through to hold their end of an agreement, but if we don't honor our end (regardless of how little it may seem) all we communicate is that we don't care about their end.

extend grace. if someone does break a commitment, then I'll bet you that they had a darn good reason. there probably were extenuating circumstances. maybe there was misscommunication. maybe the person just got really sick. maybe they got in an accident on the way over. during the central florida helpline training that I recently completed, in the first week, they take you through an example situation of a time when almost anyone in that situation would assume the same thing, but reality was completely different and someone who came across as a jerk was actually trying to save the life of young kids. you can't and won't know why someone does and doesn't do things. but you can assume that they did not intentionally intend harm.

assume the best. about a year ago when I finally got to the point where I realized that I was depressed, I was talking with a close friend about times when I felt very deeply hurt. we got to the point where we realized that the reason I was so deeply hurt in all those circumstances was because I had assumed the best and trusted too much and it had come back to bite me hard. my friend (who has also been wounded by people in life and has learned to not trust) very strongly encouraged me to stop assuming the best, but rather I need to protect myself and not trust people as much as I do. well, after a year of dealing with a lot of those hurts, and dealing with new hurts that life naturally deals me, I still believe in the benefits of assuming the best. if someone wrongs you, assume that they had the best intentions and never meant to hurt you. if someone cuts you off in traffic, assume that the driver's wife is going into labor and he needs to get to the hospital. very rarely do things ever turn out to actually be what we assume them to be.

believe in people. have you ever had a time when you were interacting with someone and you thought to yourself "does this person realize who I am?" (not in a prideful way, tho). God's gifted each of us uniquely. there are certain things that we excel at that aren't very appearant on the surface. when we interact with people, we don't easily see their gifts either. I will will almost guarantee you that every person you meet can help you out with something. people are absolutely amazing creations. believe in people, ask for help, show your dependence, assume that the other person is uniquely valuable, live from that assumption.

dont' say "I know." have you ever worked hard to provide information for someone, given it to them and they turn around and say "I know"? if someone tells you something you already know or does something for you that you don't need, acknowledge the effort they went through and say thanks. they only did it because they wanted to help you out - don't close the door on the opportunity for them to help you out again at a later time when you really do need it. probably the most personal example of this comes from 8th grade. I was going through a confirmation class as church. one of the girls in the class wasn't going to be there. just about every person in the class told the senior pastor (at separate times) that she wasn't going to be there. not a single person that told him knew that he had already been told. every time another person told him what the previous person said, the pastor always said "thank you". even when the associate pastor interrupted the class shortly after it had started to let the senior pastor know that the girl wouldn't be there. the senior pastor responded with a very heart-felt thanks for being thoughtful enough to let him know. (even though he already knew). I can guarantee you that each of those people that told him that felt encouraged to think about him again. if he had said "I know", I'd doubt those people would feel edified.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Thu, 23 Oct 2003 08:51:28 GMT

Worth the Wait

By Rick Reilly

Why do they come? Why do they hang around to watch the slowest high school cross-country runner in America? Why do they want to see a kid finish the 3.1 miles in 51 minutes when the winner did it in 16?

Why do they cry? Why do they nearly break their wrists applauding a junior who falls flat on his face almost every race? Why do they hug a teenager who could be beaten by any other kid running backward?

Why do they do it? Why do all of his teammates go back out on the course and run the last 10 minutes of every race with him? Why do other teams do it too? And the girls’ teams? Why run all the way back out there to pace a kid running like a tortoise with bunions?

Why?

Because Ben Comen never quits.

See, Ben has a heart just slightly larger than the Chicago Hyatt. He also has cerebral palsy. The disease doesn’t mess with his intellect – he gets A’s and B’s – but it seizes his muscles and contorts his body and gives him the balance of a Times Square drunk. Yet there he is, competing for the Hanna High cross-country team in Anderson, S.C., dragging that wracked body over rocks and fallen branches and ditches. And people ask, Why?

“Because I feel like I’ve been put here to set and example,” says Ben, 16. “Anybody can find something they can do – and do it well. I like to show people that you can either stop trying or you can pick yourself up and keep going. It’s just more fun to keep going.”

It must be, because faced with what Ben faces, most of us would quit.

Imagine what it feels like for Ben to watch his perfectly healthy twin, Alex, or his younger brother, Chris, run like rabbits for Hanna High, while Ben runs like a man whacking through an Amazon thicket. Imagine never beating anybody to the finish line. Imagine dragging along that stubborn left side, pulling that unbending tire iron of a leg around to the front and pogo-sticking off it to bet back to his right.

Worse, he lifts his feet so little that he trips on anything – a Twinkie-sized rock, a licorice-thick branch, the cracks between linoleum tiles. But he won’t let anybody help him up. “It messes up my flow,” he says. He’s not embarrassed, just mad.

Worst, he falls hard. His brain can’t send signals fast enough for his arms to cushion his fall, so he often smacks his head or his face or his shoulder. Sometimes his mom, Joan, can’t watch.

“I’ve been coaching cross-country for 31 years,” says Hanna’s Chuck Parker, “and I’ve never met anyone with the drive that Ben has. I don’t think there’s an inch of that kid I haven’t had to bandage up.”

But never before Ben finishes the race. Like Rocky Marciano, Ben finishes bloody and bruised, but never beaten. Oh, he always loses – Ben barely finishes ahead of the sunset, forget other runners. But he hasn’t quit once. Through rain, wind or welt, he always crosses the finish line.

Lord, it’s some sight when he gets there: Ben clunking his way home, shepherded by all those kids, while the cheerleaders screech and parents try to holler encouragement, only to find nothing coming out of their voice boxes.

The other day Ben was coming in with his huge army, Ben’s Friends, his face stoplight red and tortured, that laborious gait eating up the earth inch by inch, when he fell not 10 yards from the line. There was a gasp from the parents and a second of silence from the kids. But then Ben went through the 15 second process of getting his bloody knees under him, his balance back and his forward motion going again – and he finished. From the roar you’d have thought he just won Boston.

“Words can’t describe that moment,” says him mom. “I saw grown men just stand there and cry.”

Ben can get to you that way. This is a kid who builds wheelchair ramps for Easter Seals, spends nights helping at an assisted living home, mans a drill for Habitat for Humanity, devotes hours to holding the hand of a disabled neighbor, Miss Jessie, and plans to run a marathon and become a doctor. Boy, the youth of today, huh?

Oh, one aside: Hanna High is also the home of a mentally challenged man known as Radio, who has been the football team’s assistant for more than 30 years. Radio gained national attention in a 1996 SPORTS ILLUSTRATED story by Gary Smith and is the hero of a major movie that opens nationwide on Oct. 24.

Feel like you could use a little dose of humanity? Get yourself to Hanna. And while you’re there, go out and join Ben’s Friends. You’ll be amazed what a little jog can do for your heart.

(Originally in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED October 22, 2003)