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| I picked you out Of a crowd to talk to you Said I liked your shoes
You said thanks can I follow you? So it's up the stairs And out of view
No prying eyes. I poured some wine. I asked your name. you asked the time.
Well it's two o'clock . Yeah, the club is closed. we're up the block.
Your hands on me. Pressing hard against your jeans.
Your tongue in my mouth. Trying to keep the words from coming out.
You didn't care to know, Who else may have been here before
I want a lover I don't have to love. I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck.
Where's the kid with the chemicals? I thought he said he'd meet us here, but I'm not sure.
I got the money if you got the time. He said it feels good. I said I'll give it a try.
Then my mind went dark. We both forgot where your car was parked. Let's just take the train.
I'll meet up with the band in the morning.
Bad actors with bad habits. Some sad singers. They just play tragic.
Now the phone's ringing. And the band's leaving. Let's just keep touching.
Let's just keep keep singing.
I want a lover I don't have to love.
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk.
Where's the kid with the chemicals.
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full.
I need some meaning I can memorize.
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind.
But you, but you, You write such pretty words.
But life's no story book. Love is an excuse to get hurt.
And to hurt. Do you like to hurt? 'Cause I do. I do. I do. This didn't hurt me.
Didn't hurt me.
Oh this hurt me.
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| so today is my birfday! i am officially no longer a teenager. for all you who dont know, im 20! the big TWO ZERO! how weird is that? crazy huh? i love living in the kd house! this will probably be one of the greatest years of my life. i love these girls so much! thanks baby dolls for kicking my birthday off with a bang! i just want my DAMN orange juice! what does a girl have to do to get orange juice in this house? maybe its just too damn expensive! haha good times... yay for pole dancing! we are so hott! i, however, did not go to my 8am! its my birthday, people... come on! so all i have done today is lie in bed, watch half baked, ate pizza and downloaded music... love my life. but i AM goign to my 3 o'clock. its management and i actually like that class. my prof is so fun to listen to. loooove it. so the plans for tonight are dinner with the girls, then cake at jeanne's, then off to partay at jordan's!! yay for this boy! love him! okay im out to get ready to go to class... i will update you all on the events of tonight! get ready for the crazy night to begin!
i heart KAPPA FREAKIN' DELTA! | | |
| so school has officially started, and so has the studying. woot! this is going to be one tough semester with no room to get off track. im just going to have to suck it up and do it.so about my last couple of weeks. rush was AWESOME! the lambdas are def. the hottest pledge class ever, and im not even mad! it's amazing! i love this whole sorority house living situation thing. it's turned out to be alright. the food is amazing. last night i was boring and studied but emily while we watched American Beauty. then i got this random urge for a milk shake... so we went to whataburger at midnight then went to her friend mark's place. i got to meet em's best guy friends from home, and they are AWESOME! i, of course, looked like crap b/c i had been studying, but hopefully they are the nonjudgemental type! andyways, we hung out there for a while then came back to the house and i passed out to start another day with 8am statistics. my lab partner, of course, did not show up to class on monday and had no idea what was going on. he kept telling me that he was sorry adn that he promised he would not copy off me all year. and i was thinking in my head "you wont be b/c you will never be my lab partner ever again!" haha... any ways... im gonna go, movie night tonight with the pledges!! love those girls!
def going out tonight!
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| so another entry, but this one is for me... a tribute to the summer i will call it. summer started out crappy with the whole grade thing. 2.3 go me! so med school went down the hole, but it's okay because its not what i wanted to do anyways. the summer did get better with my trip to NYC. AMAZING! can't wait to live there. actually i can't wait to get out of texas. or that could just be because im in a really bad mood. it is only 2 pm and its already a bad day. summer school was alright, not really the way i wanted to spend my summer but i got hours and its all good. except the tests i have this upcoming week. i really need to do well on them. i have my job at on the border where i met some of the greatest people ever! and had the greatest times ever! i will miss you all! so im leaving on thursday. i am def. so ready! ready to leave that mother of mine behind. i will miss my dad and my sisters though. i always do.
you know, there are those people who hate change and avoid it like a forest fire, but right now... change is what i need the most. i feel like i have dug myself into a deep muddy hole and now i can't get out. no matter how hard i want out, i just can't seem to find that one way that will guarantee me my life.
this whole summer hasnt been completely awful, i just need to make a huge decision that will affect the rest of my life. i know what my heart and my conscience are telling me to do, but of course it completely contradicts what my mind is telling me to do. i wish there was an off button to thinking but unfortunately there isnt. things have gotten bad, but i will survive, tomorrow will come, and when it comes time to make certain decisions i will hopefully find enough courage to say exactly what i want to say and do exactly what i want to do.
"i don't have an explanation for what i do. do i regret things? sometimes. but then i find out what i will never do again."
all i have to offer is me. it's not that great, it's not perfect, it's a little bent out of shape and ragged on the edges, but it's me... and that is the only way i come.
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| hey guys! sorry no update in a while. nothing too exciting has been going on. i leave for college station in 5 days! whoop! so excited! i did go to Frisco to see jeanne and her mom thursday night. got to watch her baby's baseball game! yay for the Arkansas Travelers and my $5 million man! last night was an interesting night. went to Aly's for a bit then went out to the craziest clubs ever! it was an experience like none before. dang! that is all i have to say about that. just hung out with aly and lindsey and some other new people. got to watch jimmy in action bartending shirtless! good job jimmy... too cute. just no more kissing boys! i started packing today. i can't wait to get back, not to start school but to get back to the college life. oh soemthing insane: i have 4 days of summer school left and three tests! go my life! i love it. also i have a dentist apt. on wed morning at 8 am, yaya for that. but i do get my hair did on wed. should i go darker, or stay lighter? comment and let me know. i need to study, but i want to go out tonight... what to do? hmmm... we'll see what i feel like after work.
OOOHHH def. got tickets to the My Chemical Romance and Alkaline Trio Concert!!!
deuces...
<miss you> | | |
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