Read my songstell what you think!!!!!!!!!
About this Entry
Posted by: broken_hearts_mysongs

Visit broken_hearts_mysongs's Xanga Site

Original: 10/1/2005 8:22 PM
Views: 7
Comments: 1
eProps: 2

Read Comments
Post a Comment
Back to Your Xanga Site


Who gave the eProps?
2 eProps!2 eProps! 2 eProps from:
mr_spiffypants


Saturday, October 01, 2005
 

The title is : I Love YoU!!!!

 

Sinking slowly in my heart

 

 

Feeling oh so torn apart

 

 

Salty tears run down my face

 

 

Seeing which tear can win the race

 

 

Here I am dreaming of how it’s

 

going to be

 

 

Now I know you love me when me is

 

what you want to see

 

 

How I get by everyday not seeing you

 

for a week

 

Somehow I know that I will get there

 

even if my eyes begin to leak

 

Somehow I know that I don’t know

 

anymore

 

 

I know I see what’s not seen I’m

 

 

blocked of by a door

 

 

Hearing things that can’t be heard

 

 

Speaking hated and sad words

 

 

Here I am saying three words

 

 

I Love You

 

 

I know that you can make me smile

 

even though I don’t want to

 

 

Take my hand and hold it tight just

 

to make me come unglued

 

 

I can say that you are mine

 

 

I know now that I’ll me fine

 

 

When I think this in my mind

 

Am I a burden from what you

 

thought you had?

 

 

Am I too much do I sometimes make

 

 

you mad?

 

 

Do my tears make you feel like your

 

 

making me so sad?

 

 

I just want you to know let me

 

scream it from my repaired heart

 

 

below

 

 I love you

 

 

I can’t live without you

 

 

I need you will you make my wishes

 

come true

 

 

I know that you don’t want me to be

 

blue

 

 

Because you love me and

 

 

I love you!!!

 

 

 

Words from the Editor:

 

don't forget to rate my songs this is

 

important to me tell me if its bad or

 

good or if i should give up completely

 

things i need to know so show how

 

you feel about the songs

 Posted 10/1/2005 8:22 PM - 7 views - 1 comments

Give eProps or Post a Comment

1 Comment

Visit mr_spiffypants's Xanga Site!

i dont really like critiquing other peoples writings because im a writer myself. i dunno im weird like that i guess. so ill make you a deal, ill critique yours,and put one of mine on my website and you can say what you think about it on there. that seem fair to you?

what zack thinks : some of it was good and some of it wasnt. all the love stuff was pretty corny (trust me i know corny ive written some pretty awefull stuff before) i think this is the est line:

Somehow I know that I don’t know

 

anymore

 

this is my least favorite line: well...i pretty much dont like the rest of it...it sounds cliche and really boring, ive heard about 30 million songs that have pretty much the exact same lyrics that one does. soooo you get

10 point for earnesty

2 points for creativity

now you can go to my site and torch mine if you want too....

Posted 10/2/2005 12:22 AM by mr_spiffypants - reply


Choose Identity
(?)
 
Give eProps (?)
Post a Comment
Add Link | Preview HTML comment help 
Profile Pic:
Default  |  Choose »  (?)



Back to broken_hearts_mysongs's Xanga Site!
Note: your comment will appear in broken_hearts_mysongs's local time zone:
GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Who said only emo guys
liked checkers?

XxohSo_tragic_layoutsxX made this layout oh so fabulous!!
Hi! Write About Yourself Here: Ex.- Hi! My name is Abbey and I make layouts with my best friend Abby and our layouts rock!!

<bgsound src="http://a425.v8384d.c8384.g.vm.akamaistream.net/7/426/8384/3b858b51/mtvrdstr.download.akamai.com/8512/wmp/2/23173/29942_1_7_05.asf" loop="infinite">