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| My dream came true.
I dreamed of a me and you.
I dreamed I'd get to see you.
I dreamed I'd get to touch you.
I dreamed I'd get to look at you, for hours.
I dreamed about laughing with you.
I dreamed about kissing you.
I dreamed about holding you.
I dreamed about nothing else but you.
After all that was real,
I noticed I never dreamed I'd get to have you.
My dream became reality,
but I didn't get the happy ending.
I miss you now more than ever.
& You live so close, but you still feel so far.
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| Most of the time I catch myself wondering if we will ever been something greater. Most nights I dream about possible ways I could fall for you even more. Most days I imagine talking to you but I'm too chicken to even click on you're screen name. Silly fascinations of you actually wanting to talk to me, keep me going every day. Everyday I hope that maybe, just maybe you will actually wake up and want to think about me. All I want to know is what is going through you're mind. You used to be so open, and so secure. I once told you everything that I felt inside. Just for 4 days I let you into my life because I was vulnerable. I needed to tell someone everything. I told you things that I haven't even dealt with myself. Three years later I was hoping that it'd all just go back to the same. But I guess you've changed. I guess I have changed too. I need you to take my hand again and tell me it's all okay. I need you to walk with me and let me vent about every frustration in my life. I remember the old you, the person that let me look into your eyes until i smiled. The boy that would secretly hold my hand because he just wanted to have me. The boy that placed his hand to the window of the bus and held it there until the bus pulled away. The boy that stood behind me so I wouldn't fall over after riding the biggest roller coaster. The boy that sat with me all day because I didn't like water rides. I just want to know the same boy that I fell for faster than anyone I have ever met. I'm not scared of going after what I want, but this time I can't seem to take the first step forward. In my head I already know the answer, but my heart just won't take no. I think my heart is fed up with being alone, and my head is finally too smart to know when I'm going right into a downfall.
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| I once said 'The sweetest thing is knowing someone has your back'. I wish I could say I believe that. My best friend. The girl that I rely on to make my bad days turn around. Well I don't know if she's present, or absent from my life. It's hard confronting someone who you've never had to confront before. I feel selfish. But don't I have a right? Everyone has a right to speak there mind. I've been through hell ever since August hit. Nothing has gone right. I've stood alone for so long. I picked myself back up when everything in my life fell apart. It's been years since I've had a good friend to help me get through what I really feel. That makes me miss my old friends. Those girls always had my back, through thick and thin. I thought this time it was different. I really felt like I knew this girl was what a best friend should be. But I haven't been given the same attention and respect that I need. I thought 'If I grab her back, she will grab mine.' Well again, I gambled with my bad luck. I was there for every tear, beck and cry. I held her hand when she told me she couldn't stand alone. I let her know that I was behind her 100%. I let her know that no matter how much it hurt, I was there to hear about every detail. Maybe I was being tricked when I was told a best friend always pushes you back up from a long fall. I haven't quite hit the ground yet but I can feel it getting closer. Who will be there when I'm laying on my back? Who will lay down with me and listen to me weep? Who will look me in the eyes and tell me to pick my fuck up and get back to reality? Again, I'm left wondering if I will have to be that person again. The ugliest feeling is knowing that you are actually alone.
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| Begging.My head's spinning. Everything is off center. I don't feel like I thought I would.
Seeing your face made my heart explode. Nerves rocked through my veins. Nothing made me feel more alive.
How come only I feel the fireworks? After two years, how can you have changed so much?
I thought you cared. I thought this guy is going to change my opinion. I was wrong.
You're just like the rest of them. You got what you wanted, and I was stupid enough to give it.
Some thing's tugging at my shoulder. I want to let you go and move on. But I can't.
I don't wanna see you with a different girl in your arms. I don't want to be left alone.
I don't want you to look at another girl the way you look at me.
I don't want another girl to hold your hand. I don't want you to fall in love with anyone else but me.
Selfish? Or foolish?
Please, give my love a chance. I've waited to fucking long, to be stopped dead in my tracks.
I've built a brick wall. I made myself numb to feeling special.
But you come waltzing in. With a smile that makes my heart wild.
And that wall crumbled down. It took you three seconds.
To make me more vulnerable than I ever was before.
The more I dream about what we could be, makes me realize everything we're not.
Why does feeling this good, make my head feel so bad?
Maybe it's because a dream was finally true, but it didn't have the fairytale ending.
I want to scream fuck you. Across the world.
But right after that, I want to feel the embrace of your arms.
I want to scream I love you, from my rooftop.
But then turn my back and run.
Make the guessing game stop. Give me a sign.
Let me know if you care, or If it's done.
Because I'm waiting for your awnser, no matter how long it takes to get it.
I'm not going to let go of what I could finally have in my hands.
I'm not letting my dream slip through my fingers again.
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| & I think about you in the summer time... Been a few years and I can't deny, The thought of you still makes me crazyy <33 Two days. One love. All based off a single hug. I love you boo ♥ | | |
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