It's FINALLY Hump Day!!!  Actually, today is my Friday, after tonight, I'm off for two days!!!!! And it couldn't have come at a better time!

Work has been really tough lately.  I have a supervisor, that doesn't believe in God.  And last night, was her night to pick on me.  I'm not sure why, but it she was picking me apart.  Everything I did, I had to give her reason.  Then, because she was mad with me for "talking back to her", I call it "taking up for myself", she made me give a shower at 6:50 a.m. this morning.  That wouldn't have been a big deal, EXCEPT, she knows that my children get on the bus at 7:20 a.m., and I LOVE to see them before they go to school.  Well, I didn't make it.  As I sat in the car, and watched my children get on the bus, I began to cry.  I started doubting not only my career, but myself as a whole.  I mean is missing everything about your childrens life worth a little bit of money?

Well, I'm not quite sure of all the answers yet, but the one thing I have realized today, is that, God didn't make me to lie down in front of anyone for them to walk all over.  He put me in this job, and in this field for a reason.  Now, I just have to "be patient, and wait upon the Lord to renew my strength".  So, I guess the reason I am saying all of this, is for those of you that are out there and going through the same thing in your life, HANG IN THERE!!! I am!

To all my friends, :o)

A Big >>>HUG<<< goes out to MommaRosa and her wonderful words. 

Things actually seem to be getting a little better at the moment.  I just got my schedule for this month, and I got what I had been praying for, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year's Eve OFF!!!!

Although I, have in the past,  asked my husband not too, I believe he comes on here and reads what I post.  I'm no longer doing that.  I've found that Xanga is the one place in the day where I can openly and honestly put down any and all frustrations, laughs, and cries, that I may have had.  Where I may not be able to out right tell my husband things, if he comes on here and reads me, maybe it will help.  I hope so.

Well, it's back to work tonight, then when I get off at 7 a.m., I have to be in Mobile, which is 45 min. from here, by 8:45 a.m., to walk in a parade with my daughter.  Then we have to come home and she and my son have to be in the park by 3:15 p.m. to sing in the choir, then off to another parade and line up at 5:15 p.m.  Tomorrow is going to be hectic and busy, but I'm so excited that I have the night off, so that I can spend all day with my family.  Our town has a big Christmas in the Park, and Santa will be there.  The kids are so excited, and of course mommy is too.  So, until tomorrow take care!  And thanks for all your comments! :o)

It's been quite awhile since I've actually had enough time to sit down and even give thought to blogging.  The last month and a half has been so crazy around here.  I'm working again, and this time my hours are 11 p.m. to 7 a.m., so as you can imagine if I'm not sleeping I'm trying to spend time with my family.  Then, I've also decided to go back to college.  However, I decided at the last minute and now I'm trying to fight the deadlines.  I get to turn the pc on maybe once or twice a week.  I miss everyone so much, just right now I really miss myself.

I guess the reason I decided to turn this on today was that I really needed to talk to someone.  I'm beginning to feel the symptoms of depression again.  When I'm at work I worry, when I'm at home I worry.  For some reason I have been hanging on my husband like there is no one else in the world that might love me.  I'm so scared that I'm going to run him off, or make him think I am going crazy.  It's almost like he has become my security blanket and I want him with me no matter where I go.  I'm not sure if this is normal or not, but I know with my first husband I NEVER felt this much love, at least not for him.  You know, I took this job so that I could help him pay the bills and buy Christmas, but now I'm absolutely miserable.  I truly want to attend school so that I can further my career, but for some reason, right now I'm scared.  Can any one give me any kind of advice?  Am I going crazy?  Do I need mental help?  I'm so sad, I don't know what to do.  Then, when he comes home from work, he always looks at me and says "what's wrong?"  Although, there may be something wrong, I always respond with nothing.  I'm so exhausted!  I don't think I have ever been this tired.  I've been getting 4 to 5 hours of sleep per day on the average.  By the time I get home, the kids are going to the bus, so I come in, clean the house, sleep from 11 to 2, then up again, doing laundry and making sure supper is cooked for everyone.  Then I do homework with all the kids, get their baths, feed them, and iron their school clothes.  By this time, it's 9:00-9:30 and time to get ready for work again.  Guys, I'm not sure how much longer I can make it.  I'm almost to the point of not even wanting to breathe anymore! 

I miss you all, and I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I'm going to try and sign on more so hopefully by talking with my friends I can get through this time in my life.

I've been trying to post some blogs lately, however, I can't get xanga to post them for some reason.  Hopefully this one will post.

WE'RE AT WAR!!! This is a statement that I never thought I would have to say.  I know that this is the right thing to do, and I stand firm behind and beside not only my President, but also my country.  I have several family members that have now left us, and set out for this conflict.  God Be With Them!!

Do you ever feel like no matter how many people are around you, no matter how much noise is made, you are alone.  Lately, I have really been feeling alone.  I'm not quite sure why.  No one around me understands.  If the kids see my cry, they automatically ask me if it's my hormones.  That's the only thing I can even thing to blame it on.  I'm starting a new job Tuesday, and I'm really hoping that this will help pull me out of this rutt I'm in.  Well, I'm really tired so I guess I'll go to bed, and talk at everyone tomorrow.  I love you guys!