全屋人也睡著了...
感覺很孤獨...
辛苦的時候...
真的很想念你.

我一定要堅強.
可是我對自己一點信心也沒有. 
朋友們看著我,說我心情...一日比一日差.
你亦很清楚,我所說的話題...一日比一日少.

想念你．

An extra special day in a variety of ways.

A day that ended in laughter, hugs and a long conversation on the way back to London. Forever a day in which we bid one life goodbye and embraced the beginning of another.

We took a good look back and we sighed because we realised life had brought us so many fond memories of days long gone.

Then we took a good look forward and smiled at the thought of days to come.

I have no idea why adults ever claim to be any diffferent from children. This, I realised whilst I was working (and stressing). The "worries" are subtly changed, but the reaction is the same.

A slight frown followed by a moment of struggle and panic.

When all we need are the comforting arms and voice of a loved one for a smile to emerge.  

Comfort may be over or undervalued in this world, but the love behind it can never be more or less than what it will always be.

I saw this photo and thought of you. I just feel that the interaction between this mother and child, although entirely different from our relationship, closely mirrors the way we are and have been for the last five years. A source of support and comfort; a glimmer of light in the shadows. An encouraging whisper, guiding my way.

Love, whatever the context, is always the way.

This year has been a marathon for both of us, and now I'm at the final hurdle, I'm unsure as to whether I have the energy to go that extra 100m. But I know I have to, and I will.

Thank you HYB, for your support so far.

(Please excuse any rubbishy mistakes, lapses in grammar and other stupid mistakes, I just needed to get my feelings down here before I forgot them and remembered only O&G again!!!).

See you tomorrow ^^ 

So..I am fully kitted out for friday...well as much as I can be. I don't think my range is enough, but it'll have to be that's all I can say.

I left my elective approval form in the camera store..smart. It got ripped in half and now I'm not sure what I'm going to do.  I went to get it anyway, and practised. I don't like test running when it's important, and Friday..is important. I'm not comfortable with auto functions (because..er...I can't use them...I was never taught to and never bothered to teach myself to)...but I have to be really fast...and really accurate...so...I'm dead. I'll do my best...but I never think that's enough boo hoo.

I found two problems. Firstly, I make stupid mistakes because I panic when I think the situation is about to change. I click before I think. Secondly, I'm not actually used to this lens, so...everything is a bit wierd. I can't go as close as I usually do and focusing is hard sometimes because everything gets all steamed up (heat) and my vision is compromised!!!!

But all in all, if I stay calm, I should get a couple of decent shots, or at least ones I can save when I work my photoshop magic (magic which has not been used since I finished my course in March. Actually that's a lie, I used it once in May).  I've changed my camera settings, they should (touchwood) be okay...I just need to set my custom settings, which I'll do when I get there on Friday...(haha when I have assessed the "situation.")

I have to say...I was a rusty little bunny today. I hope I will be a jumpy bunny on Friday because I won't have time to practice again. 

It was such a beautiful day (and I have a better photo of this...but I'd turned the focusing dial a little too much- lesson 1- learnt.). Someone was having their wedding photos taken outside Abbey Studios today -they were Japanese, surprise surprise!

I wish you'd been there to poke me and prod me today, but you weren't so I made do! I have so much to do, I must now accelerate my learning in O&G!!!

Ed took this whilst he was in HK. I'm not a big fan of HDR and masses of photoshop editing (mainly because I am bad at it)...but I couldn't help looking at this...and for the first time in a very long time...missing Hong Kong. It's odd, because despite having never felt like I belonged there...I do still call it home. 

You can never take away the part of me that resides in Brighton and London, where I've spent the greater part of my life. Strangely enough, over a decade out of HK hasn't taken HK out of me either.  I used to wonder where I belonged, and honestly, I don't really belong anywhere.  I'm more in limbo than anyone I know, mainly because I've never "fit in" with a set crowd of people. Yes, I was a geek. Yet I wasn't smart enough to be a nerd. I wasn't "HK" enough for the HKians, I wasn't "BBC" enough for the "BBCs."  My life floated in and out of HK; Summer/Xmas of most years, but that part of me was erased temporarily when I returned to England.

I certainly don't mean that I was any different from anyone else, I just felt like I didn't "fit."

Then I met you, and suddenly...none of that mattered anymore. Because I realised that home is where your people are, not where you are.

I've never belonged to any place, because no place was ever able to completely take hold of me.
Only you were able to do that.