Man I have a lot that I need to get off my chest so buckle up and hang on....

So yeah..............it's been quite a lil while since I've been able to get on......and a lot has happened.  My parents are still being.........well my parents.  I'm never getting to do anything because we always have to have time to be a family and to tell you the truth I am just downright sick of always spending time with my family.  I really do hate family time because it's like I always have  to put my friends on the backburner just because my mom and dad say that I have to spend time with them.   Then whenever I'm with them we never do anything because mom says our family's to busy and we need to slow down.  My problem with this is that our family never has anything going on so how can you possibly slow down nothing????  Then when we do have something going on mom and dad's things come first.....like today for instance....I went to Shelby's house for her birthday party which started at 4:00 but I had to leave at 5:30 because my parents have a party that is lasting until around 11 or 12 tonight and my sister who is 11 cannot stay home by herself...........so I had to come home and babysit a girl who is 11 who would be perfectly ok on her own for a few hours.  I mean she's 11.....I would definately understand if she was like 5 or 6 but she's not.   Then comes the whole thing about driving.  I was like the first person to get my licesnse but I'm never allowed to drive and I don't have a car.  I have driven to church several times which is just all residential streets getting there and to the store on a few occasions but if I want to go to a friends house mom will say that we need to have family time or if they say I can go (which is rare).......they take me even though I'm perfectly capable of taking myself.  I'm so DANG sick of it..  It's really starting to hurt because when people go and do something they just don't even bother to call me to see if I want to come because there's a 99% chance that mom will say we need to spend family time together.  Even when there's something at church....she puts family time above that.   A lot of times we don't even go to church potlucks because she doesn't want to have to make anything to take but then she'll spend 2 hrs. making an entire meal for us to eat when we could have already eaten at the potluck. WE EAT TOGETHER SITTING AROUND A DANG TABLE EVERY SINGLE MEAL OF THE WEEK!!!!!  2-3 TIMES A WEEK CAN BE SPENT WITH OTHER PEOPLE!!!!  Her whole idea of family time is just so dumb when her kids are so sick of her.  She's really brought me to the point that I absolutely HATE her for it.  All she does is complain about everything I do........"You didn't practice your saxophone long enough"....."How come you have a 93 in Spanish"......"How come your science project isn't finished"(And it's not due for another week or so and I had a 101 in that class)...............or else she'll lecture me all the time........"You need to study harder in Spanish because you have a 93 and that's to close to being a B"..........."Now tomorrow you need to practice your saxophone longer because you're slacking off(This was the week after CODA which I had worked hard to make and did and she said I was slacking off)........or else she'll put my dad down all the time....."Lonnie get your head on"........."How come you didn't take the trash out?(when the trash isn't even near full and if he had taken it out he would have gotten yelled at for wasting the bags).  I mean it's just utterly ridiculous everything that I'm having to go through.  I'm really trying everything I can to hold it in because I'm really close to the point that something is going to have to give.  I've always thought that your High School years are supposed to be the best years of your life but if this is what it's like I can't imagine what the rest of my life will be like.  I've already told them that Senior year I'm doing what I want.  If they get mad they can becaus eI'm not doing anything wrong.  I'll be 18 and it's not like I'm wanting to go out and get drunk and have sex and stuff like that......I just want to be able to do what I've always wanted to do.......do more with the youth group......go watch a movie with some friends.......hang out with friends on the weekend......go to the mall and look around whenever I feel like it........and just get away from the nagging I always hear at home.  It seems like my life has a cycle........school, church, home......school, church, home...........and never anything else. We never go out to eat, we never go to the movies, we never go to the mall and just by something on a whim............Mom expects everything to be planned and to never do something on a whim.  I've never heard the words,"Call me when it's over."  I always hear,"I'm picking you up in an hour and you better be outside."  It doesn't matter that I'm almost always the last one to get somewhere and the first to leave............and I'm always embarassed because of it but it's like my feelings don't even matter to my parents.  Friends are always saying that they're sorry about my home life and I always try to smile and laugh it off even though deep down inside I'm crying because I hate my home life so much.  It seems like the only thing I have to go to is God.................no one else can truthfully say they no what it feels like because I gurantee you that 99% of you have never felt this way. 

Hey Ya'll sorry I cannot get on that often!!!!!!  Leave me some el commentos.......

Love Always..........

Chase

Currently Listening A Collision By David Crowder Band see related

I think it's about time for a new xanga cause this one's been screwing up.  As some of you have noticed....my smiley thingy-ma-jiggers have disappeared........but when I go into my Look and Feel it shows that they are still there.  Then yesterday everytime I would leave a comment it would leave the comment twice.  So yeah I'll be getting anew xanga in the next few days.  What should I call it though??????  I need a really good name.  Anyway CODA is tomorrow........I think I'll do great.........Jazz Band tryouts were today..............I don't know whether I made it or not yet............Melanie's supposed to call me a nd let me know if I did.  Mr. Brown didn't even want to hear me play the whole thing........so I think I'm pretty much assured a spot.  Well guess I'll go.

Random Question: What should I name my new xanga??????

Random Question #2: What should the layout look like?????

::EDIT::

I made JAZZ BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!