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| __: hey charles
__: 
__: whats up?
__: i haven't ejaculated for 8 days!
__: which means i'm super horny! T_T
lol i love talking to people online
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| so today was cool. after italian i went to this educators against the
war conference that was held at hunter! lol so there were like 5 of our
teachers (mr kissack, ms kuberska, ms weinberg, ms tamaleo (tameleo?
lol sp?), and ms shaindlin (sp?)) and some progressive forum people
(sam, ari, dylan, hallie (sp? lol). there wasnt really much that we
discussed that i didnt know about but it felt nice to feel back in the
movement since i havent done anything since two years ago, before the
war and was like all depressed and what not. i went to mr kissacks
conference because he hasnt spoken to me since 7th grade, like hes
actively ignored me since but today he was really nice. i have such a
guilt factor hehe. um.. in 7th grade i used to talk a lot during class
and i sat in front of sarah richter and so we both would talk and he
would think that it was just me and once she was mocking his lessons
and was like "oh so hard" or some crap like that and he thought it was
me. plus i had a like downhill curve that year so he just didnt like or
respect me. so today i went to his conference and then helped out and
offered help and everything just because im still wounded :( hehe. i
find it sad that i crave to be liked by him that badly since hes the
only teacher that doesnt like me lol. anyways i meet two really awesome
people today from midwood i guess its called, some high school in
brooklyn, which is one of the things i miss about activism. i just miss
meeting people from all over since theyre such cool people. oh and
apparently theres a march on march 19th which is the anniversay of the
war. it makes me so sad and remember that day 2 years ago when we were
like crying and wore the armbands and walked out of class to protest in
the rain and made the die-in and were interviewed by like MTV and
korean broadcasting stuff lol. then we went to IAC to get some love (we
got a lot of love from the crowd like people offered us soup and got us
more garbage bags to use as blankets since we were freezing, and then
people were taking pictures of us) hehe and then columbus circle for
more rain. im definitely runons galore today since im just streaming
now heh. it was just a nice day overall. after the conference i had
like a snack i guess youd call it hehe, noodles and tea (they had
bubble tea), with the two awesome people i met there, on st marks. its
so fun meeting people you dont know and just having random
conversations that are fun. this week was cool since i got to meet up
with roland and lutful on like wednesday i think it was... lol. anyways
ill talk more later im sleepy
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| geez i havent written here in a while lol dont expect much now i need
to get reacquainted with xanga writing heh. i just havent had much time
to reflect on how negative and like outwards oriented ive become. not
necessarily dependent on peoples approval, or environmental approval,
but more on the outside world for some sort of excitement and
inspiration. ive noticed significant improval in my like poetry writing
and stuff liek that and wonder if its at the expense of my general
emotional wellbeing hehe. its not completely true since ill do some
chanting and then get inspired to write creatively but yeah... it helps
to connect to specific events and what not to connect to a specific
visual or feeling. especially with our short story stuff its really
interesting to see what reality we create, and it doesnt matter if its
real or not. either way its cathartic. the experience is enriching
because it shows another possibility and glance of wisdom, but i havent
learned to separate myself from it. i was just reminded of this by the
history channel today hehe i dont read the bible or know much about
jesus so this was interesting for me. the noli mi tangeres (is that the
greek or the latin version? "don't touch me" when mary magdalene tries
to touch jesus after hes resurrected) apparently implies in greek to
not touch him as in not to get attached to him and the moment. jesus is
such an awesome zen-master type lol. i have to learn to experience but
not depend. むずかしい ね?
its also interesting to note how aesthetically attached i become. in
italy we saw pieces by everyone youll study hehe and a lot of the
thought behind it was to create an experience where the spirit can get
a glimpse of divinity or whatever you want to call it, and it feels so
great to reflect back on the experience when you can separate them.
io ho anche dei problemmi con l'italiano quindi devo scrivere un po'
qui per practicarlo. io faccio sempre degli errori perché io penso in
francese o inglese o giapponese (io ho risposto in giapponese- non
tutta la frasa ma io faccio una miscela). alora abbiamo visto la parola
<<baciare>> nella storia della lezione _ (non mi
ricordo il numero) e io ho domandato se avesse lo stesso significato
che in francese. alors <<baiser>> veut dire <<to
fuck>> donc j'ai demandé parce que c'est un mot très important à
savoir, je veux pas me mettre dans les situations où il y a une telle
surprise. sempre faccio così e va meglio così ma devo sapere come
pensare nei modi differenti.
日本語のクラスは 面白かったです。 いつも おそく来ました。大学の説明を 差し上げたので。。。 日本語で 考えにくいですよ：－p。 １０時半 だので また 話しましょう ；）
a nice work by noguchi: 
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