caffeination's Xanga

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 12:19:33 GMT

After 3 hours of training, Boulder Creek decided I'm "not Boulder Creek material" and they told me they weren't going to be bringing me back. That was Saturday night. Sunday morning, Aimee had a seizure, and spent all of Sunday and Monday wired up to machines, checking her out, and getting iv's and blood work, and all this other shit. the doctors did an ultrasound, and the baby's alright. I'm more worried about her than i am about the baby. I spent the night with her in the hospital on Sunday, and they released her last night, but said she had to go to the doctor today. I drove her home, and then her mom drove me home, because she doesn't want me or Aimee driving Aimee's car. The doctors said she's not allowed to drive for a year, but I don't think she told her mom about that. Her mom said that she doesn't want either of us driving the car, because its still in her name, "and if anything happens..." thats all she really says. I need a real job, and a reliable car, and I need them fast.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 00:01:47 GMT

I got a new job.. Boulder Creek.. Working in the kitchen. Aimee hasnt moved in yet, but Im down in the basement. I dont have much to say, I just figured I'd update.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 05:31:51 GMT

It's officially Saturday, and I'm late on my update, but not really. Yesterday morning I talked to my dad about Aimee and me moving into the basement.. I told him she needs to get out of her house cause of her mom, and I need to get out of the upstairs because my room is too small for the both of us, and all of our stuff. So after a few questions about what we're gonna do with the stuff thats down here.. he said make it happen. and pretty much from the minute he left for work this morning, until about an hour ago, thats what I've been doing. Then I went out to pick up some soda from Pathmark. Now I'm just trying to regain my energy so I can finish this before I go to bed. Which probably wont be for a loooong time. I miss Aimee. Thats all really. New room, for me and Aimee.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 02:57:23 GMT

We went to the doctor today. He basically gave us the do and don't rundown. He gave us an earth science lesson too about contaminated rain water, and shellfish. I felt like I was listening to the discovery channel.
I had a job interview today too, at PC Richard & Son of Elmwood, pretty much across the street from the Huntington Square Mall. Hopefully their seriously considering me, instead of seriously bullshitting me.
Doctor said Aimee's starting to grow, and that the hospital trip was probably just a virus. Thats about all there is to report. More later.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 15:39:49 GMT

We're at about 6 weeks now. Officially their telling us the due date is June 28th, but we think its the 29th.. We'd really be the ones to debate over one day... It's not even like babies are born on their due dates. lol.
Halloween was on Wednesday, and even though she wasn't feeling well, Aimee came to see me, and brought me the sonogram picture from Monday. She only stayed for 15/20 minutes, but it made me feel a lot better to see her, since I had only seen her for 10 minutes in the previous week. I was sick with a throat infection. and then by the time I was feeling better she was sick with something else. I brought her some pills Jamie said she could take, and some Raspberry Iced Tea. That was last Sunday. She spent this past Thursday and Friday in the hospital, and got out on Saturday. I spent from 2-7 with her on Thursday and 11-7:30 on Friday. She got out really early on Saturday so I didnt make it up there to be with her. I should have just stayed at the hospital with her on Thursday and Friday nights, but she kept telling me not to. I told her if she had to spend another night I would stay and there wouldn't be anything she could do about it.
Friday night I told my dad about me and Aimee, and us having a baby. He was surprised, and I asked him if he was mad, and he said no, that he was really happy for us, but that I need a job, and I have to do something. Saturday I spent running around looking for a job. I applied for a porter/driver position at the Hampton Inn in Commack, I applied at Howard Johnson's, the Sheraton, the Holiday Inn Express, the Irish Coffee Pub, PC Richard & Son, and Costco. I have to fill out a few more online applications for some other places. Thats all I can do until someone calls me back. I really don't want to take the illegal route on this one, because sooner or later, I'm going to need a legitimate job, with a legitimate explanation for where all my funds are coming from, since we want an apartment. We need our own place. A two bedroom place. Jamie can't wait for me to be out, she's already planning how she's going to decorate my room for Jayden. Anyways. It's already almost 12. I want to call Aimee and see if she's up yet, and how she's feeling. So.. I'll post more when we hear some more about the baby.. We have an appointment on Tuesday. Just gotta remind Aimee.. though she probably doesn't need a reminder.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 21:05:40 GMT

october sixteenth. they said "3 weeks and 3 days maybe?"

Friday, November 03, 2006

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 05:27:01 GMT

sometimes i forget about this page, as im sure many people do. i only write in it about once every couple of months now. dont feel so good right now, but what else is new, this journal is plagued with miserable post after miserable post. whatever though.
i didnt even want to post on here, i just started and would rather not turn back. what i really wanted to say was in rhyme, and i feel would be better if left to its on devices on the djtravizt xanga. so maybe i'll do that.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 07:23:36 GMT

so heres the story. a true story. my story.

for weeks now, i've wanted to do something BIG something everyone i know would see. just for the satisfaction of having done something. well tonight. i did it.

Ever since I started spray painting.. big shiny metal boxes, cielings, sidewalk dividers, and walls surrounding apartment complexes... I've wanted to tag someplace untagged... almost untaggable if you will. So I picked a target, and tonight I went for it. I really really went for it.

Tonight started off with me going to a friends house to borrow some rope. I took the rope home, and made myself a harnass. I packed my harnass, and a can of spray paint, and a sweater ( in case it got nippy) and I started walking. I walked from my house, to the bridge on Islip avenue, that crosses over the southern state parkway. then. I hid in a bush for five minutes while I waited for all sorts of traffic to diminish. Then when I had finally conquered my nerves, I walked to the middle of the bridge,...

and I jumped over the side of the bridge.

At first, I thought it was a good idea. but once the rope started burning my hand as I inched my way down the side of the bridge, I started doubting the soundness of my plan. Then... I fucking fell off the side of the fucking bridge.

Let me say that again.

I FELL OFF THE SIDE OF A BRIDGE!

I landed in some bushes, and no. they didnt break my fall. And for a minute, I was just laying in the bushes.. Rope still hanging from the side of the bridge. So I thought. "hey, i could just as easily pull myself UP the bridge instead of lowering myself down the bridge... another foolish plan.

So I started raising myself up the bridge, and I made it a pretty decent way up too... Until the rope slid under my shirt and gave me a nice rope burn on the side of my back... Then I kind of fell again, only this time I landed on my feet instead of my back. So I pulled the rest of the rope down, and took a few minutes to come up with a new game plan. Finally, I grabbed my spray paint, and I tagged My tag, on the underside of the bridge. So now, when your traveling east bound, on the southern state parkway and your going under islip avenue. Just look to your left, and my tag will be there (until they cover it up) and likewise, whenever your traveling west bound on the southern state parkway, and your going under islip avenue. just look to your left, and yes.. there too, is my tag. In nice red paint.

And if you thought it ended there... oh. let me tell you, it only got better from there...

After tagging, I across the west bound side of the parkway, and into some woods, just alongside the bridge. And as I was coming out of the woods. I saw flashing red and blue lights at the exxon gas station on spur drive north. A woman was parked in the parking lot, exchanging words with a young police woman. and I casually walked up and past them and into the gas station. I asked the attendant, what's the deal with this? referring to the cop. And he said, the woman had just seen someone throw themselves off of the bridge, and she thought they were committing suicide...

She saw me jump over the side of the bridge. and she called the cops. So I took my arizona iced tea and I left before they approached me asking questions.

So. I guess, the main thing I'm trying to say here, is that unless you have proper rock climbing equipment, or maybe a ladder... you should probably avoid trying to tag on the side of a bridge...

or you'll fall off, and have to settle for tagging underneath the bridge.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 16:57:56 GMT

i hate this house, i hate these people, i hate this family. I hate life. I just want to die already.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 17:41:30 GMT

every night its another dream about her. I guess I wouldnt remember them when I was smoking weed, but I've been sober for about a week and a half now, and every night theres a new dream or at least a continuation about her. I just dont get it... I thought I was over her. Why do I feel the need to write about it? why can't I demonstrate a hint of self restraint? Its like I'm creating my own personal hell for myself. Watching the world around me instead of taking part. But what's the fucking point? What do I have to gain?