LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX

Trivia

-The average clitoris is 1 inch long.

-The average length of time between penetration and orgasm for a man is 7.3 minutes.

-Experts claim sex is 10 times more effective than valium as a tranquilizer.

-From evelopment to ejaculation, the lifespan of a sperm is 2.5 months.

-Everyday about 200 million couples around the world have sex, which is about 2000 couples at an given moment.

-Women are most likely horny when they are ovulating.

-30% of women over 80 still have sex with either spouse or boyfriend (Grilled Cheese!).

-Fellatio ranks as the #1 sex act desired by heterosexual men.

-More Americans lose their virginity in June than in any other month.

-A man's penis not only shrinks during cold weather, but also from nonsexual excitement.

-White women & women with a college degree, when asked, were more receptive to anal sex than women without a degree.

-About 1% of the adult female population are able to achieve an orgasm through breast stimulation.

-14% of males said that they did not enjoy sex the first time. 60% of women said the same thing.

-The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right-handed men. The opposite is true for lefties.

-The initial spurt of ejaculation travles @ 28 mph. By comparison the world record for the 100 yard dask is 27.1 mph.

-Oneirogmophobia is the fear of wet dreams.

-A male fetus can attain an erection during the last trimester.

-Among sexually active adults, lesbians have the lowest incidence of STD's.

-The average bras is designed for only 180 days usage.

-A smaller flacid penis has a greater percentage of increase during ejaculation than a larger flacid penis.

-Human testicles increase in size by 50% when a man is aroused.

-The human brain cannot tell the difference between a sneeze and an orgasm.

-Sex is a natural antihistamine.

-According to the record the biggest erect penis is 13 inches while the smalles is 1 3/4 inch.

-During orgasm, the heart beats 140 beats per minute.

History

-In the Old Testament, before David could marry Saul's daughter, Michal, he had to collect the foreskin of 100 Philistines.

-Romans would crush a first time rapist's gonads between 2 stones.

-In Ancient Greece, women would expose their vagina's to ward off storms at sea.

-In Ancient Rome and Greece, dildos were made out of animal horns, gold, silver, ivory & glass.

-While nudity was considered common place for ancient Greeks, it was considered indecent if a males exposed an erection.

-Sex education was first introduced into English schools in 1889.

-Egyptians inserted stones into their vaginas to prevent pregnancy.

-In Medieval France, unfaithful wives were made to chase a chicken through town naked.

-The first public striptease was in Paris 1894.

-Fuck is an acronym dating back to the Old English were populations were extremely low because of war and plaque. A new law was passed called Fornication Under Command of the King.

Laws

-Necrophelia (sex with a corpse) is illegal anywhere in the US.

-In Harrisburg, PA it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.

-Up until 1884 a Victorian Era women could be sent to prison for refusing to have sex with her husband.

-In the Middle Ages, if you are convicted of bestiality, you and the animal would be burned at the stake.

-Asiatic Huns convicted male rapists & adulterers with cantration while women were cut in 2.

Trivia

I don't know why, but I love useless trivia...

Fifteen percent of cell phone users in the U.S. say they have interrupted sex to take a call.

7Up was originally called "Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda."

At the height of the popularity of "America's Funniest Home Videos," producers reported receiving about 2,000 video submissions each day.

Tuesday is named after Tiw, the Saxon god of war.

Surveys show 50% of women and 33% of men remain angry for 10 years after a divorce.

For a time, from 1941 to 1976, pinball was banned in New York City. Lawmakers felt pinball promoted gambling.

The office cubicle was invented by furniture designer Bob Probst in 1968.

A group of kittens is called a "kindle."

July is National Wheelchair Beautification Month.

Planned Parenthood was originally named the National Birth Control League (founded in 1916), and became the American Birth Control League in 1921. The full name of Planned Parenthood is Planned Parenthood Federation of America.

The Old Testament has 23,214 verses. The middle verse of the Old Testament is 2 Chronicles 20:17.

The word "grenade" came from the French word for "pomegranate" because early grenades resembled pomegranates.

Isaac Asimov, the prolific author of more than 500 books during his lifetime, died of AIDs.

Iron weighs more after it rusts.

More than five million American children suffer from "nocturnal enuresis," the affliction better known as bedwetting.

Even as late as 1940, a candidate for the US Naval Academy was rejected if it was discovered that he masturbated.

Casanova learned to read in less than a month.

Thug Behram, a member of the Indian Thugee cult, holds the record for most murders by a single individual. He strangled 931 people between 1790-1840 with a piece of ceremonial cloth called a "ruhmal."

Coprastasophobia is the fear of constipation.

Early in his career, Liberace performed as Walter Busterkeys.

The 12 Strange Faces of Jesus

Jesus, he’s a popular guy.  Well, not so much during his life.  Let’s face it, popular people get nailed – but never to a cross…  Anyway, my point is that a lot of people like to draw Jesus:  From the great artists of the Renaissance to artless schleps with more faith than talent.  But one thing is for certain, everyone out there has their own unique depiction of the man… And yes, he was a man!

The Well Hung Jesus


When I say “well hung” I’m not referring to how well he’s fastened from above with no support from below and the overall position of his crucifixion. Nope, I’m talking about his package. And our friend here is, er, packing one…  This begs the theory that Jesus was 86’d not because of his religious preaching but because Roman men don’t like a guy with a big penis.  Hey, we’re learning stuff here!  

Jesus With Superpowers


With his ethereal glowing head, his right hand getting ready to give us the “AOK” sign and his left quite firmly attached to his nipple and feeling himself up; what really strikes me about this particular Jesus is the Superpower quality that’s going on here.  Obviously this dude can shoot some kind of freaky, two-sided, red and white power ray from his divine nipples.  What it’s good for is anyone’s guess. One thing’s for certain, it can’t fight off a hammer and nails.

As for the milk maid with the halo who looks likes like a mountain ready to be climbed… Well, at first I thought it was his woman, Mary, but she was such a slut – sorry, whore, that there’s no way that she deserves the big multi-starred halo over her head. So now I’m convinced it must be the son of God’s mom. Which makes God a woman: And a rather doable one at that!  You heard it here first.   

Bloody Jesus

”I don’t care if it rains or freezes/ As long as I got my Bloody Jesus.”

Jesus as a Plotting and Nagging Noble Man


This Jesus looks like he wears a codpiece and says things like “Prithee, mine rapturous eyes are agog.”   (Or some stupid crap like that.) That little jar just below his cross is, no doubt, loaded with Deadly Nightshade and he likely has plans to murder the king (God) and bed his virgin daughter (Betsy). Yes, he’s always plotting, plotting, plotting – and all the while with the finger – nagging, nagging, nagging…  Not to imply that religion is a self serving, conniver that only looks out for itself.  That’s a given.  

Jesus The Goat, um, er, “Herder”

"Insert" temptation joke here.

The Gay and Mincing Jesus

I’m not sure if this is supposed to depict Jesus on the cross or just enjoying a pleasant nap. I hope it’s not the cross, because he looks like he’s really content and happy. Like he’s loving it!  Hmmm, was Jesus an S&M fan?  Was he crying out, “Oh, you bad boys! Whip me, beat me, nail me some more and stick that Sword of Destiny in!”  One thing none of us can dispute:  This Jesus looks soooo gay!  Now I may not know a lot about history but I’m pretty sure they didn’t have homosexuals back then. 

The Dancing Jesus


Judging by his moves, I suspect this spaced out Jesus was wasted and dancing to some rocking lyres and dulcimers.  That pelvis thrust and arms thrown back thing he’s doing is a move he’d bust again later – for the long haul on the cross.  Originally known as, “Doing the Froog!” this Jesus dance craze would eventually be called “The Crucifixion.” (Known as “The Crucifiction” among nonbelievers.)    

Jesus That Makes Us Say, “What the Hell?”

I don’t trust this Jesus and I certainly wouldn’t leave my kids with him. This Jesus must die!  He reminds me of the guy you went to high school with and see years later and think, “Christ, what the hell happened to him?”  And then, “Thank God, it wasn’t me.”  Which I suppose makes this very effective and thought provoking art.  I just wish all those children positioned around his groin weren’t so happy about it.  Still, great art is meant to challenge, yes?

The Court Room Jesus


The Court Room Jesus (right) with his lawyer (left).  Like all good terrorizing religious figures, he knows that sometimes getting into heaven means acquiring the best legal team money can provide.   

The Annoying Jesus

Don’t you just hate this Jesus?  Don't you just want to smack him?  And do it with that cross he’s holding!  This is actually an incredible piece of art, in that it instills such intense feelings of annoyance.  From the soft, “make out” lighting, to those girly hands, to the way he makes holding the cross seem so uneventful, to the pink robe, (pink!) to those dead, puppy dog eyes; this Father, Son and Holy Ghost is the boy bands of Christian prophets.  The only thing that makes this Christ barely tolerable is knowing what’s about to happen to him.   

The Jesus Gangsta

This Prison Jesus doesn’t have the tattoos but holy shit is he bad!  The background artwork that looks like it belongs on a cell wall is a divine touch.  Truly inspired.  Pray to him, motherfucker, or he’ll stigmata your sorry ass.  

The You Are Jesus (aka: The Jesus Complex) 


Because we all feel persecuted once in a while.   

Ok so it's been a long time since I have updated and I have needed to. Alot of things have been going on. To make a long story short, the Saturday after we broke up, Michael invited me to run some errands with him so that we could talk. I didn't know if this was a good or a bad thing. I don't want to discuss the details but we ended up getting back togethor. This weekend we drove down to McPherson again to visit his mom, sister and grandmother. It was a very relaxing weekend. Except for the fact that we took Linus and now there is cat hair ALL OVER my car. I would like to go down there again for the 4th of July. Something different. I love that small town feel. Ofcourse, since he grew there, he never wants to live in one again. I guess I can understand. It would get boring at some point, I can see that.

I finally got a new job. It's fine for now. Not nearly as much responsibility as my last one, but it's the same pay so that makes me feel a little better. Everyone is really nice and they all seem to get along. No drama, like the last work environment. Then again, this is only my fourth day so I'm sure something can happen.