#1: Be Wise
Know what you will and won’t do ahead of time. Recognize temptation before it gets too big for you to handle. Your first line of defense against impurity: your running shoes! “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
I maintain a “shoe in the door” policy with guys I date. If circumstances are such that we happen to be in a room alone together, I literally put a shoe in the door to prop it open. This way we both know that someone could walk in at any minute. Though taking this stand hasn’t been easy at times, it’s helped me in my effort to live above reproach. Dating only Christian guys and keeping accountability people in my life are other biblical boundaries I adhere to without exception.
#2: Don’t Go Where You Shouldn’t Go
Are there parties you know you shouldn’t attend? Are there hangouts where you’ll fall back into your old (bad) habits? Don’t go there! Some girls don’t physically go where they shouldn’t go, but their minds and emotions do. They think and daydream themselves to places they don’t belong. Don’t go where you shouldn’t — emotionally and physically!
#3: Stay in the Light
If it has to be done in the dark when no one is watching, it’s wrong!
Quick questions: If you’re about to do something with your boyfriend and it feels wrong, it probably is. Before you do anything, as yourself:
• Would I do this at Starbucks?
___ Yes ___ No
• Does this act bring me closer to God?
___ Yes ___ No
#4: Be Able to Spot Sin’s Many Disguises
Arm yourself with what’s right so you’ll know wrong when it comes. Know the truth so you’ll call the lies for what they are. Temptation is kinda like those plastic desserts they have on display at some restaurants. (Do you know which ones I’m talking about?) They look enticing on the outside, but one bite and you realize looks aren’t everything. Satan likes to wrap sin and lies into pretty packages — but the consequences are more deadly than a mouthful of plastic.
#5: Don’t Hang Out With the Wrong People
Choose Christian friends who challenge you to step your faith up a notch; not friends who drag you down.
Check out this quote by author and pastor Chuck Swindoll: “If you play in the mud with white gloves on, the gloves always get muddy, the mud never gets ‘glovey.’ “
#6: Draw Your Lines Carefully (and stick to ‘em)
Draw the solid line of what you will and won’t do. Talk to your now-boyfriend or your someday-boyfriend about the boundaries you’ve set. Then walk that line carefully. Put yourself only in situations where you can uphold the standards you’ve set for yourself.
#7: Don’t Let Yourself Get Worn Down
You’re most vulnerable when you’re tired, lonely, depressed, angry or struggling in a relationship. Satan even tried this tactic on Jesus. “When the devil had vanished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time” (Luke 4:13).
Satisfy yourself with Christ, then sin will seem less attractive. (Check out John 6:35.) When you get into a situation and you’re no longer sure of what’s right, follow this battle plan:
• Retreat! Get out of the dangerous situation.
• Go to the top. Ask God for help.
• Find an ally. Ask a friend or mentor to keep you accountable.
• Regroup. Come up with a plan to avoid close calls in the future.
#8: Don’t Believe Everyone’s Doing It
Sex outside of God’s plan has consequences: unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, destroyed reputations, emotional pain. Don’t be duped into believing that no one will know. “You may be sure that your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23).
But even if no one did find out, the most important audience would know: your Father who sees all. He watches and examines everyone closely. (See Psalm 11:4.)
#9: Know a Trap When You See One
Ask a trusted, godly woman (such as your mom, your grandma, a family friend or your youth pastor) about some regrets she’s had in her relationships with guys. What have these regrets meant in her life?
Together, think about some girls you know who’ve gone too far and the consequences that have resulted. Talk about some people you know who’ve made purity their goal and the blessings that have resulted in their lives.
Excerpted from SHE TEEN by Rebecca St. James. Copyright 2005. Published by Tyndale.
