Friday, June 13, 2008

• androcentric news for June 2008

      
    Warning:  contains adult content !
  
  
  
                            
  
    I wanted to add a new feature to my blog called "Androcentric News" ...
   ......... news concerning sex, men's health, muscle, libido, etc....
  
      
  
   But I then remembered how many of the lovelier and smarter persuasion read my blog....
    so in the interest of fair play and equal time, here's 10 jokes that women make about men. 
    Ladies, feel free to spread 'em around!! 
  
  1. Why does a man have a clear conscience?
  Because it's never used.
  
  2. Why are men so happy?
  Because ignorance is bliss.
  
  3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
  Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already
  there.
  
  4. If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same
  time,who would reach the ground first?
  The woman, the man would get lost.
  
  5. How are men like commercials?
  You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both
  last about 60 seconds.
  
  6. How do men exercise at the beach?
  By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a
  bikini.
  
  7. What do you call a man with half a brain?
  Gifted.
  
  8. What's the difference between government bonds and men?
  Bonds mature.
  
  9. What did God say after creating man?
  I can do better.
  
  10. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
  1. No mind. 2. No business.
  
  11. What is the thinnest book in the world?
  What they think they don't know.  
  
  
   (oh... a lot of us can't count, either............  )        
  
  
  
  
  
   Now- Here's this month's edition of the Androcentric News 
  
  
               
  
  
   A recent survey of 20,000 women revealed the TOP TEN FEMALE SEXUAL FANTASIES...
  
   ( I thought you fellas might be interested in this inside information..... )
  
  1: Fantasizing About Acts with Current Partner
  
  2: Sex with a Man Other Than Your Partner (usually a past lover)
  
  3: Sex with Another Woman
  
  4: Something They've Never Tried Before
  
  5: Receiving Oral Sex 
   (hey guys... - ya never heard of 'give and ya shall receive'??)
  
  6: Fantasies Involving Romantic Sex
  
  7: Sexual Ravaging  (Careful here, fellas..... )
  
  8: Being Found Irresistible by a Man
  
  9: Working as a Prostitute or Stripper
  
  10: Sex with a Stranger
  
  11: Wild Nite o' Sex and Passion with CarolinaMuscle
  
  
   ok....... I admit it... I still can't count.... and I made up number 10.
   (..........or was it number 9?)
  
  
  
  hmmmm..........  
  here's a shirt recently seen at Charlotte Motor Speedway.....
  
                                          
  
   .................................You gotta love number five. 
  
  
  
  
   Now , onto some news items about a subject dear to most men's hearts........ 
  
                                            
  
  
  
   There are mounting reports that the popular anti-impotence drugs like Viagra can cause
  sudden, but temporary, deafness - usually in one ear. The FDA found at least 25 cases of
  this, and has ordered manufacturers of the drugs to add a warning to their already growing
  lists of side effects...... 
  
   .......  Hey - that extra bloods' gotta come from somewhere, I guess......
  and when you got a 4 hour hard-on, you ain't doing much listening anyway.........
  (that's another potential side effect..... although, it doesn't sound all that bad....... )   
  
   Take it from yer Ole Uncle Nuts - drop some weight, get some exercise, and watch your diet....
  and you might not need any help from the pharmaceutical companies..... 
  .... your lady might even WANT to ball ya once in a while......   
  
  
                        
  
  
   Before we write off Viagra entirely, though.... researchers at the University of Wisconsin
  have found evidence that it increases the availability of the orgasm hormone oxytocin -
  promoting more and stronger orgasms in women..... a  current study in the Bahamas has
  indicated the same, as well as an increase of orgasms among previously non-orgasmic
  females..........  more study should be very interesting .... 
  
   ... remember --  MORE orgasms in THEM, means MORE orgasms for YOU. Get it?
  
  ... I just wanna know where I was when they were picking male subjects to assist in the
  experiments???    Damn - always a day late and a dollar short. 
  
  
                         
  
  
   Australian researchers have added more evidence to the mountain of science supporting
  the importance of free testosterone levels to mental function in older men - In October's
  report of Clinical Endocrinology, a study examined 3,000 men - 70 to 89, and found that
  lower free T-Levels were a predictor of depression, coronary disease, and mental decline.
  Those with low T were apparently not rocking the nursing homes with their libido, either....
  T-Levels are a direct determining factor in older male libido. 
  
  Bottom line:  If you're over 70, get your T-levels checked- or get ready to check OUT. 
  
  
                          
  
   
   While we're on the subject of Testosterone, a Japanese study on ED patients
  supplementing T and Sildenafil has made remarkable progress in treating them.....
  we all know how important test is to hard-ons... and the combination was apparently
  effective in treating over 50% of the studied ED patients over 40. 
  
  
                                   
  
  
   Protein Supplementation: HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?
  The ISSN's recent study released these conclusions about the relationship of protein
  supplementation to muscle and strength gains:
  
   People who exercise require more protein than those who don't.
  
   Active people should get at least 1.5 g per kg body weight per day.
  
   Protein supplementation along with a healthy diet does not impair kidney function.
  
   Consuming protein before and after exercise promotes recovery, boost immunity, 
  and increases lean body mass and strength.
  
   Branched Chain Amino Acids aid recovery and strength. 
  
   (Who needed the ISSN to tell you this... you knew it all ready, didn't ya??? ) 
  
  
                      
  
  
   
   Egyptian researchers have found that increased lead exposure will not put lead in your
  pencil..... lead levels are hazardous not only to your physical health, but to the health of
  Lil Elvis as well......  not to mention DNA damage, coronary problems, lowered brain
  function, etc etc etc .......   and it is the most common heavy metal in our environment -
  found most often in ammunition, rust inhibitors, batteries, and in the water supply.
  I don't have a punch line here- just avoid it when you can . 
  
  
                     
  
  
   Premature ejaculation is a problem for a large segment of the male population - but 
  once again, exercise has come to the rescue ..... Researchers in India have released
  a study of 38 premature ejaculators - they took up Yoga for a period of 12 weeks, 
  and all 38 reported improvement in their PE problems.....    of course, there is a large
  psychological component that must be considered, but I'd say a 100% improvement
  is still an uplifting result.....................  
  
  
                 
  
   
   
   Here's some bad new for those who supplement with ZMA to boost test levels......
  the German Research Center for Elite Sports has no found evidence that ZMA has
  any influence on T-levels..... this after a three year study.  While the old stand-bys
  like Long Jack and Tribulus are still available, there are also food based strategies that
  have had success..... Cabbage, for instance - contains indole-3-carbinol, a natural T-booster..
  so do Brussels Sprouts along with diindolin...(1-AD). Lean meats, legumes and
  whey protein also can help.  And remember- Stress, inactivity and smoking can all lead to
  low T levels........   
  
  
  .....  so if you wanna keep the yang up,
    You Gotta Take Care Of Yourself!!!! 
  
   
  
   
  
       ..............  Hey Girls..... DEAL ME IN !!!! 
  
  
  
   
  
  
  
  
   ummmm...........    see ya.  
  
  

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