| The fact that I don't know and can't figure it out is driving me absolutely crazy. It's really hard to tell what other people are thinking and how they feel and it's fucking frustrating. So much to the point that I'm starting to wonder whether I've been trapped in the exact way that I said I fucking wouldn't be. Or I overthink things? ARGH.
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| I Hate over-analyzing certain situations or just jumping to conclusions. I can't read into other people's thoughts and I can't even understand my own sometimes. It's funny that I'm writing like this because I don't want other people to really know what I'm talking about and that hasn't changed from my old entries which i used to do the same thing. It's like a desperate cry for attention from random people who might even stumble upon this entry, but a cry for attention that has no real meaning because no one will know what I'm looking for. Haha I suck at life and I've accepted it. I'm the person whose camera breaks and her warranty expired a month before. The person who gives advice and advises people to be a certain way and does the exact opposite of what she tells people to do. I don't want to go back to that. In fact, this entire year I have been fighting to stay away from that and it has been working. But I don't like the way I did that. I don't regret but I do live and learn. I just hope I stay true to myself. I need to do that before I can really be true to anyone else.
And you know, it is funny. Because lately I have been a lot more quiet than I ever was before. Maybe its because I don't have any input to give, or because I've been having trouble vocalizing what I'm thinking. I can't figure it out, but maybe I'll never know. I just want to live life and enjoy it by the moment. Otherwise I'm causing myself trouble.
I Just Want To Live.
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| It's funny how a few words can tell you so much about what a person is thinking. Better yet, a lack of words tells you even more sometimes and I think I just learned a lot.
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| Fuck, will you tell me what you want? And Fuck, why do I think you freaked out about that?
ugh Fuck You.
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