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cellar_door7
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Name: Rachel
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 3/13/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: art, culture, life.
meet sir olaf. he's from norway.
Expertise: breathing
Occupation: Artist
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
7/21/2003
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| achoo.
some december 12th thoughts...
-I F$YO@..$Y@&$O)@&)$&)@* HATE BEING SICK.
-somehow
my cat knows i have mittens in my purse and he tries to drag them out
and eat/play with them. he destroyed my old ones. and still...he knows
there are new ones...
-i'm taking the cat home for part of christmas break. can't wait to see how my big fat cat, snap whips him in to shape.
-i
still don't know what to paint for my final project and its driving me
crazy. i could do a still life or a landscape or something but there's
so little meaning in that...but maybe thats easier. bah.
-::achoo achoo achoo achoo::
-abby
died and i just keep playing the ben kweller cd in my car. and i love
mr. kweller and all, but i keep forgetting to put something else in
there.
anyway.
this was boring. i apologize.
rachel | | |
| top hats and swords-how rachel became a man.well its been an exciting 10th week...but now its OVER thank god.
ya
know, i was dreading next quarter with every fiber of "this mortal
coil" but now i'm kind of excited. because even though i'm stage
managing, it'll be fun because of who is in my cast, and on top of
that, me and dominique got cast in Comedy of Errors in small roles cuz
we have to skip a bunch of rehearsals for One Size Fits All (the show
we're stage managing). but...I FREAKING FINALLY GOT CAST!!!! geez it
took long enough! so i am beyond excited for that. and i'm playing a
man...two men actually...and if all goes accordingly, i get a top hat.
i get to almost duel kevin. which means i get a sword too. watch out.
but
i am sick now too. i'm medicating with lots of -quils, and zycam and
cough drops...i feel a little better but not up to par. whine whine. i
hate being sick.
so i'm gonna go home to san diego and see if my mommy will make cinnemon rolls or something. yum.
have a good one.
rachel | | |
| and i will hang my head hang my head low.
its not so great when the big ugly things on your mind make it go blank when you're trying to talk about moses and the swamp and it all gets jumbled behind your teeth and suddenly the teleprompter in your head goes dead. and you drone on..."um....." and the whole message or lesson or whatever spills out your ear on the floor and you don't remember anymore that you wanted to say:
"that's just like me!"
a sitting duck in a swamp with all of the fierce egyptians staring you down and you're pushed to the edge of the water, knee deep in muck and you admit finally "I LOVE MY OWN MISERY BECAUSE IT'S FAMILIAR!!!!!!!!!!!"
and now, you, rachel, you wait for god to open up the sea...
because "the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." exodus 14:14
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| december the 1st.
christmas songs are infiltrating the musak in every store.
and i'm not thinking about christmas presents or decorations...
i'm thinking about how:
rent is due
bills need to be paid
life will kick you in the pants and not tell you why.
the best way to avoid things is to sleep
and then sleep some more.
i need to take a shower.
i should clean my room
and clean out the cupboards.
i dont know what to paint for my final project.
how fickle so-called friends can be.
how it pays to be honest to honest people.
how much humility it takes to let jesus wash your feet.
and how i wish i was a bear and could hibernate through the madness.
and that being vague teaches no one.
and spite is a longing for vindication
but maturity is integrity and rising above what tries to drag you under.
but sometimes i think the "bigger person" has no fun.
and i want to cut my nails down and play my guitar today.
i want to learn to play some new ben kweller in a key i can sing along.
i should read comedy of errors because auditions are coming up
and i dont know if i should even bother...
and that christmastime usually feels like a magic romantic time of the year,
but lets face it, kiddo, and move along.
move along.
and how its good to weep with those who mourn
and rejoice with those who celebrate
because then you don't have to feel any of your own mess.
and how hard it is to begin to get out of bed
when you have no real reason to
because its your day off.
and all the funny words i heard yesterday
like hypnogogia, cyclohexane and gesso.
and how i have to sneeze.
and that i should call shirin and get some lunch.
ah. december 1st. kinda looks like "december1sts" haha.
have a good one..
rachel | | |
| i'm just a penny on the train tracks waitin' for my judgement day...its 3am and i can't sleep.
it finally rained today. i checked the weather before going to class and was ecstatic to see little gray clouds and pixelated rain drops hour by hour. i finally got to wear a jacket.
there have been a few times this week that i'd think i should blog about something or another and i'd get to this page and then something would unplug my brain. the blank screen can be quite daunting.
thanksgiving was uneventful, thankfully. har har. i hate thanksgiving. its a holiday all about food and used to be the source of many an anxiety attack as well as facing the relatives and the awkward questions about my non existant love life or that i was "putting on weight". thanks grandma. bless her though, she's got alzheimers. but the holiday went smoothly except i got sick somehow and threw up so hard that i pulled all the muscles in my chest and neck and shoulders. that was no fun.
and somehow i ended up in temecula the next night with jen and ariana line dancing at the stampede...to be honest, i dont exactly know how i managed to go without a fight. i think i just missed jen and ariana that much. let that be a testament to my love for them. i'll brave cowboys and country music for them. lol.
actually it was kinda funny. its like a zoo kind of. it was more fun to people-watch than actually dance. we discovered that the socially awkward miraculously feel confident and dare i say, cool, in such an environment. jen even rode the mechanical bull. i have a video of it on my phone but i haven't figured out how to work the computer magic and share it with you all. (if you know how, let me know.) its worth it.
but truth be told, i might just go back some day. the drinks were really cheap and c'mon, suburban country folk are better than television. though i did lose a few IQ points listening to songs about trains and chicken wings, "she makes my tractor sexy" and even the renegade Aqua song...it was a good night.
well. 3:22. i should write some of my journal entries for playwriting because i've only done like 5 out of 27. lets give a round of applause for procrastination. (shirin, you get a standing ovation). they're not due until wednesday but so is my play revision and these things take time, people.
have a good...morning?
rachel
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