Last exam --- Chemistry (22nd April) True, I didn't have motivation to study anymore!! It is hard to tolerate!!! No comfort, no support, no animation. What do I study this for?? Lost... Lost... I really lost in this mystery woods. Where is the light? Who can help me? What am I doing??? Friends, tell me... TELL ME!! "God may help you!" I understand, but it's not the way for me to leave the forest. I know my Chemistry is soooooooo daxn poor. I have no idea how to tackle it. What if I get a fail? I will have no chance studying at university. Can I get a pass? It is hard to say... My teacher said that "God helps those who help themselves." *sigh* *sigh* and *sigh* What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing for? Why do I study Chemistry? Why? Maybe I need some comfort, some concern, and some support. "Hey, Harold, come on!! 2 days left!" I know. I really know... So what? "So, you should study for Chemistry in these 2 days!" For what? "For a chance studying in university!! It is your dream!!" Can I? I know how much do I know, I know how bad did I perform on the exam papers. I know... Maybe I need some comfort, some concern, and some support only. Can I? Unwilling things happened in these few days. Actually, I can avoid it, but I don't want to. Arguement ---> Worthy / Worthless? I know what would happen if I start doing something. I know, I really know... But it will be worthless and meaningless if I avoid doing that... Friends, I am sorry... Forgive my stubborn. Maybe that is who I am. I would like to deliver this sorry from my deepest place from my mind to you. I am really sorry... *sigh* sky is blue in color, but I could not see. It seems that is in grey color... Million words are in my mind, but could not be relesed. 「試前恐懼症」? My dear friend, maybe... Will I win the game? No, Can I win the game? No, I can win the game? Ah ha, kidding! I was thrown into a clough. Full of darkness, Lack of direction. It is toooo cruel for me! Man, Maybe I need some comfort, some concern, and some support. "Are those things so important to you?" Yes. "How important they are?" As water, food and God. "Why?" Because it is the pillar in my life. "So what? You cannot live without it?" Maybe. "So, you don't need it actually." Maybe. But I desire to gain some comfort, some concern, and some support from my friend. "Huh? I don't understand!" I want to work with my friend, to experience something together. "Why?" Because it is PRECIOUS. "So what" I will treasure and desire to have more chances. "So, what are you waiting for? do something for what you want!" Yes, what am I waiting for? What am I waiting for? Am I waiting for... Am I waiting for... But... But... But... What I want is not what my friend want! "They will understand you." But I don't want to force them to do the things that they don't want to do! "They will understand you." But really? Maybe I need some comfort, some concern and some support... 2 days left. Countless jobs will come. Certainly, I am willing to do some of it. "Really?" Maybe. Man, ....... It is hard to explain.... But now, I worry about... many things... maybe too many things... and burdens. but I have to say one more time... "I am sorry, my dear friend." | 
