| you know i dont really think anyone reads my post anymore. not that i post that much. but htat migh tbe good considering the state that i was in in all the other posts. but that doesn't really say anything about my state of mind now. oh well.
these drinks are for you Jason. every last fucking one of them.
a beer
a bottle of wine
a glass of sherry
5 beers
a bottle of wine |
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| so, i was walking home and this guy asks me for some change and just like I always do i so "sorry" and keep walking. Then after about two blocks i think to my s elf i should help this man. So i turn around and walk back down the street to see if i can find him. So i find him and and ask if i can help him. He asks if i can buy him some chicken wings. I say yes and we start walking together. He tells me he has been on the street for two weeks and that he lost his temp job and his apartment. He asks me if i can get him a hotel room for twenty dollars and i tell him i dont think i can. We pass by a 7-11 and he says he can probably get food here and I tell him that he said he wanted to get chicken wings and he says no he can get food here, so i say, ok. So we try to go in and the door is looked and i think that is the end of it, and that they are closed. But, the guy comes to the door and lets us in. So i am thinking that i should get this guy his motel room and let him pick out his food and go get twenty dollars out of the ATM to get his hotel room. When I go to the counter to pat he has a pile of stuff on the counter, but i pay for it all. So he has a bag full of food and we are walking down he street and i tell him that i think i can get his motel room for him if he is willing to walk with me(and from what he said [which he was probably lying] it was a long way). So he said yes and we started walking. But within the minute he started just asking me of the money to help him survive so i wouldn't have to walk with him. I said no, and that we should walk and that i would go get him a warm place to stay tonight(because it is fucking cold here). He kept pushing me just to give him money but i kept on saying no. Then i was like just "tell me the truth what do you want he money for" (the amount had gone from $20 to $10 and he said he could just take the money and got to the county hospital and stay there and use the money to survive). He didnt tell me anything different and so we kept walking. Finally he admitided that he was going to use the money to buy blow. I asked him where he was going to buy it, because we were a couple blocks from my house and i was really curious how far it took to buy drugs from my house. So, I had already made up my mind what i was going to do.
So I gave him 10 dollars.
I didn't know what to do, i just that thought i was being cruel to be kind.
Then he said i hadn't given him my phone number yet (i had said i would give it to him earlier). I usually always have a pen with me but for some reason that day i didn't, so we had to go looking for a pen. Finally we go to this street corner and Fred(thats the guys name) asks for this other guy for a pen and he gives me one. I write down my REAL number on his paper. He says thank you and whatever. Then his friend(which he was obvious very acquainted with) starts asking me to buy him some chicken wings too. This makes me feel like i was scammed even more at this point, so i just say that Fred should share.
I have always wrestled with help the beggars but i dont really know what to do about it.
If Fred calls me tomorrow like he said he would i think i am going to keep helping him. |
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| ok everyone look at this drawing one my friends made, its name is "Missing Piece".
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| i love having a back yard, becasue it means that you can pee in it as many times as you want.
im up to two tonight but the night is young. |
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| pizza at 2 in the morning after a bottle of wine, just another day and i'm living it.
I haven't decided if this is the beginning of my day or the end.
I am fighting the urge to make a white russian for myself or bust open the bottle of cooking wine.
my desk is littered with bottles. all makes and models and even some glassware to go with it.
In the condition i am in, listening to Alkaline Trio usually means bad things (well that depends on your perspective.)
its always at this point that i just want to stay up all night but if i do ill just keep drinking. If i keep drinking ill pass out on the floor.
what is a binge anyway?
by defentition
Binge
noun
- a short period devoted to indulging in an activity, esp. drinking alcohol, to excess: he went on a binge and was in no shape to drive(live).
I dont binge. i do it all the time, not in short periods.
red eyes on orange horizons. if Columbus was wrong i would drive straight off the edge.
buy me a drink. |
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