in memory of Le'ad Rosenblith 4/20/07

a boy who sat next to me in 4th grade that loved sketching

a guy that i encountered summer before sophmore year at the snack machine and constantly tried to avoid.

a profile of his artworks that i can't seem to steer away from

an obituary written by stltoday that makes my heart ache

the news didnt effect me until today as i nosily searched google for more information and came upon his artworks.

i havent prayed in ages. but today i prayed for his family and friends.

need to vent/rant a lil before i explode.

all in all, i don't support it. not one bit. it's ironic because i caused this catalyst. it's like creating a monster you can't stop or a ball from rolling down the hill... it's inevitable. i would force myself to accept it but everytime i do, i feel like throwing up so i rather be stubborn than be sick to my stomach.

im shining a large flashlight in your eyes as a sign of warning, yet you're still blinded by what you think is reality. maybe you like the awkward silence, or the numb icy feeling in the air. who knows? time will tell...

one more thing: texting is overrated.

i'm counting on the failure of language.

now i feel better.

we drive each other crazy and keep each other sane.

time for an update?

for awhile there i thought xanga was dead, but proving myself wrong, i'm making a futile attempt to erase the silence.

lets see, senior year is overwhelming. not because i'm having a blast or because seniors have it so called "easy". it's overwhelming because i'm stacked under college apps, scholarships, SAT/ACT/SATII and ap classes. granted i have a few blowoff classes like newspaper and student aid, but it's still a struggle to keep myself from not skipping those classes.

senioritis has kicked in.  and kicking my ass.

somewhere in the midst of frustration and fear of failing, i realized that i'm happy...you figure out why.

i always jinx myself.