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| moving on...
i've decided that blogger's got a better format, so back i go. new address though. so go to www.hencethesetears.blogspot.com
the address comes from a latin phrase i found, "hinc illae lacrimae", and it means "hince these tears".
so enjoy, and please keep reading.
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| mmm. new music!
ok, enough about the church stuff. i think i've gotten that out of my system now.
all of the graduations are over, let the summer begin!
even though it technically started for me about 3 weeks ago, it's just now starting to feel like summer. arkansas in 2 weeks, and juggernaut the week after that. i'm gonna need alot of film! hannah needs to hurry up and get back from italy...it seems like she (and everyone else) have been gone forever.
alisa's graduation on saturday was beautiful. i actually knew more people there than i thought i would. a guy that was in mrs. mac's english class with me in 8th grade graduated... random.
wow. i got this section out of the chronicle from my neighbor about the people who have died in iraq and afganistan from houston over the past couple of years ago. they have pic's and bio's about 16 of them, and scott's in there. there's the best paragraph about him. all it talks about is how dedicated he was to Christ. the first sentence is: "first and foremost, army spc. scott larson jr. was a soldier for Christ". i know i wrote about this a couple of months ago. but it still impresses me that he was so enthusiastic about his faith.
on another note, i watched big fish tonight! that's such a great movie. manders, you need to use a quote from it in your line game...don't worry, i probably won't know it anyway 
i don't have music on the laptop, so i can't do the first 25 songs on my playlist thing. but here's my list of the top 19 songs ever. enjoy.
1) Cry of The Church - 249 Band
2) You Can Call Me Al - Paul Simon
3) Is There Anybody Out There - Pink Floyd
4) The Phantom of the Opera - Original Cast Recording
5) Fire and Rain - James Taylor
6) Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top
7) Cold As Ice - Foreigner
8) Urgent - Foreigner
9) Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra
10) Stayin' Alive - The Bee Gee's
11) The Night That The Lights Went Out In Georgia
12) The Greatest Man I Never Knew - Reba McEntire
13) Avalanche - Beth Nielson Chapman
14) Coffee In A Cardboard Cup - Mandy Patinkin
15) Love, Unrequited, Robs Me of My Rest - Mandy Patinkin 16) Have You Seen Me Lately? - Carly Simon
17) Your Song - Ewan McGreggor
18) Elanor Rigby - The Beatles
19) We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are - Rich Mullins
these songs are in no particular order, other than the order on my top songs cd. (want one? it's good stuff!) | | |
| against my better judgement, i'm leaving the previous post intact. if just to see what people say about it. i hope you don't think i'm anti-church, because i'm not. i love church. i love my church anyway...sure, there are things that bug me about it. (no peanuts. come on, give me a break). but i still love it.
the thing that bugs me about cfbc, which is one of only 4 or 5 churches i've been associated with in my 17 years, and the only one i've gone to when i'm old enough to discern theological and social differences, is that no one sees that there's anything wrong. let me elaborate. yesterday i went there for the senior recognition. not because i was in it, i wasn't allowed (not even kidding). but because three of my good friends were. manders was there too, and she said she got ticked off 5 min's into the pastor's sermon. naturally i was curious why, and basically the sermon was about how this was the most important concept in the world. your whole life will be better if you take these three steps, and sing this happy song.
ok, so maybe that's not exactly how it went, i wasn't there. but every sermon i've heard there is in the "three point, fill in the blank, fold up the paper when you're done, and sing one more song" form.
when i heard what the sermon was about, i groaned, rolled my eyes, and said "holy crap, that's horrible". or something to that extent. and inevitably that afternoon on the way home from lunch with my parents, they started talking about how wonderful the sermon was, and how revalent it is. my mom said they sold about 50 copies of it at her greeter desk.
they were telling me to not let the thing with mike, which i won't go into exept to say that there was a disagreement that was never resolved, turn me against the whole church. that's not what turned me against it. there are some wonderful people at that church, including my parents. but these wonderful people don't seem to have a clue sometimes. i'm sorry, but that's how i see it. everything is not hunky-dory, and a drastic change is going to have to take place before it is. i hope i live to see the day.
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| so yes. it's been forever since i updated. i apologize for that. since whenever my last update was, i graduated high school! yes, it was may 15th. a joyous day in the vanWagner household. but that's not what i want to talk about.
in regard to manders' latest post (http://www.studentteacher.blogspot.com), i wholehartely agree. just a warning, for those of you who still go to cfbc (linds and holly, mainly), and those of you who have ties there, i'm sorry if this offends you, but as you probably know, i have very strong oppinions on this matter, and i feel the need to share them. if you'll get mad, don't read it.
i walked into element this morning, and ironically enough, the music was "the beautiful letdown" by switchfoot, and the line that played when i walked into the crowd of people was "i don't belong here". that's really how i feel. it's odd, i truly love my church. i have wonderful friends there, and the teaching is amazing. but there's something about cfbc, it was like a second home to me for 8 and a half years. there are some days, (today being one of them) that i truly wish that it still was. but everytime i go there, i get this feeling that...i don't know..i'm not welcome. i'll get the obligatory "hi, how are you?" from the people i've known for years. but i seriously doubt one of them actually cares. now, i can't say that i'm not guilty of the exact same thing, because i am. but bear with me, this is a rant.
my mom was talking to cheryl the other day, and she said (in a nutshell), that the staff basically feels like they don't have to coddle, or baby, or whatever, certain people. that we're mature enough to not need attention from them. so i guess i should take it as a compliment when i'm ignored. great, they must really love me.
ok, i'm done. i can think of other things to say, but i won'. i'm sure i've already offended people. | | |
| do not tell me what i can and cannot do when i rock...
ahh, old school. today is the day of the old music. john reuben, supertones, the w's...it's good stuff.
i cleaned my room today. now granted, there's a big pile of stuff on my bed that has yet to find a home, but the rest of the room looks good! i've got this big graduation rehersal tonight at cfbc, should be fun. i'm such a rebel, i'm wearing my big toe shirt. i know it's not a church thing, that just happens to be where the graduation is, but still, seems proper..
my cousin david just called a little while go, that was interesting. i haven't talked to him in probably over a year. he's going to law school right now, don't know what he wants to do, he used to be a newscaster in beamont (which is interesting, because my grandma on the other side of the family lives in port arthur). anyway, it was cool that he called. he was just telling me that they won't be able to make it to graduation, which i expected. but still, it was nice. he asked what my plans were, and even said they'd have to come see me and have lunch sometime. we'll have to see if that actually happens...doubful, but it's a nice gesture.
i haven't figured out how to put links to other sites on here, but everyone go check out other peoples poetry | | |
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