I once knew love like this...

Currently Listening The Cool By Lupe Fiasco Fighters see related

Here goes nothing!

Last night was simply glorious- Lupe Fiasco, Rihanna, N.E.R.D., and the self-proclaimed brightest star in the universe, Kanye West.  I paid $90 a few months ago expecting just to see Kanye and some up-and-coming hip hop artist, and was treated to some of the best artists today (if you haven't heard Lupe's 2nd album, I highly recommend it). I'm not really a Rihanna fan, but wow, the girl can sing! Umbrella ella ella eh eh eh! Turns out, yesterday was Kanye's birthday, so we were treated to some (I believe) impromptu monologues... and for those of you familiar with him, it didn't disappoint   A 5 hour concert for $90? Unbelievable.

In more important news, I have this week the biggest exams of my life. For those of you who aren't familiar, I'm going to D.O. school, which is basically M.D. school plus some extra classes. If you've ever been to the doctor, you may have seen a D.O., since they practice the same scope of medicine as M.D.'s. Anyway, I made the choice to come to my current med school based on many reasons, as I didn't really care whether the initials after my name were D.O. or M.D. (For those of you familiar with this and care, yes, I did get into multiple U.S. M.D schools- I wasn't one who took his second option by any means). So, this week I get to take not just one, but two separate Step I board exams, the COMLEX and USMLE. These are quite probably the most meaningful exams I will ever take, as they can have a strong bearing on where I will do my residency. Keep me in your prayers especially this coming Thursday & Sunday as I will be sitting in front of a computer trying to keep my sanity for 8 hours. Seriously, pray hard. I need it.

I have always adhered to the belief that the biggest issue which breaks up relationships is pride. Usually when things go south, both people are too prideful to admit their own mistakes and take the fall. In fact, I've always thought that if one person could take the hit, let go of the pride, and simply take the blame for whatever the issue (whether it was really his/her fault or not), the relationship would be restored. I have not once, not twice, but three times allowed a girl to stomp my face in the dirt, as I continue to apologize for issues which weren't my fault in the first place... and my worldview, my inner soul is shaken to the core... and I wonder if any relationship can make it...

She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside isn't on the label
She says she's ashamed
Can she take me for awhile
Can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
Or maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend

We're here and now, will we ever be again?
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen on white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her
She says that love is for fools that fall behind,
And I'm somewhere between
Never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend

We're here and now, will we ever be again?
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

It's too far away for me to hold
Too far away....
It's too far away for me to hold
Too far away....

It's too far away for me to hold
Too far away....
It's too far away for me to hold
Too far away....
It's too far away for me to hold
Too far away....

It's too far away for me to hold
Too far away....

Guess I'll let it go....

- Fuel, "Shimmer"

Currently Listening We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things By Jason Mraz see related

To me, there's nothing more poignant and expressive than music. If I'm ever being lazy (more and more often as of late), there's always a tune playing in the background. Something to either match the mood or set the mood. Music conveys not only the feeling of present moment, but how I wish to feel in the near future. This is why I often simply post lyrics. The last couple months have been tumultuous, to say the least, and the following is one song which really helped. An excerpt from "Please Don't Tell Her" by Jason Mraz:

Say that it isn't so
How she easily come, how she easy go
Please don't tell her that I've been meaning to miss her
Because I don't
Not for her
It's not that I'm mad to forgive
Forget what I said

That I'm crazy like the rest of us
And I'm crazier when I'm next to her, ha

So why after the all of everything that came and went
I care enough to still be singing of the bitter end and broken eras
I told you I don't
But I am only trying to be the best with my intent to cure
The rest is sure to lay me ease the plural hurts of the words of reverse psychology
That's easier said
Easier than done
Please don't dare tell her what I've become
Please don't mention all the attention I have drawn
Please don't bother cause she'll feel guilty when I'm gone

Because I'm crazy like the rest of us
And I'm crazier when I'm next to her
And it's amazing how she's so self-assured 
But I know she'd hate me if she knew my words
Do I hurt anymore?
Do I hurt?, Do I hurt? 
I don't
I don't
I don't