Its been a long time since the first times. The first time we met to the first time we kissed...to our first fight to our first good-bye our first tears...to the last "I love you." People say you never realize what you have until you lose it. In a way...they're right. But I never took you for granted because  I knew any day I could wake up& you would be gone. I just hoped so much it wouldn't be for a very long time. But now I miss all those things I never really noticed. Like how much I miss your hands holding mine & most of all ¦I miss your  smile. No matter what was going wrong, all you had to do was give me that smile of yours & somehow I knew everything was going to be all right. I haven't seen that smile forever. I just keep hoping I'll see it again so I can have that feeling that everything is going to be all right again. I'm not all right. I'm anything but okay right now. I just keep wondering if I'm ever on your mind. Or if you ever miss my smile too. I wonder if you ever wake up in the middle of the night praying that I'll be there. I miss you so much. There's nothing I can say that would ever make you understand  just what you mean to me. I want more than anything to see your smile again  knowing it's for me. I need something to hang on to. I need you.