chrissybug777's Xanga

graduation

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 00:43:28 GMT

life is so crazzy..

not even kidding...

im so confused with the things she says to me...

then she does something totally different...

but i love her...

i just want it back the way it was when it was perfect...

Monday, August 28, 2006

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 23:47:53 GMT

well its been two weeks exact since i last updated ya.. huh.. i kno no one really gets on xanga anymore but i still wanna update.. so school started its goin pretty good so far im liking all my classes so far..work is alright just really tiring an gettin old same shit really.. life like my life.. i am ok.. i am not the happiess girl anymore but i am still alive waking up every morning just hoping i get thru the day.. ya i umm im pretty well just very depressed alot.. i dont even wanna explain much jus that..

Has your heart ever wanted to ask someone something..but your mind wouldn't let you because it was too afraid to know the answer

when u hurt me i stil wanted u when u ignored me i stil smiled at u when u were with another girl i was stil happy 4 u and after all this time i still love u

i'm so scared to lose youwhen you aren't even mine

the first time I felt true pain was when I saw you declare your love for her.. and I saw my heart break into a
m i l l i o n p i e c e s

the only girl that deserves you is the one who thinks she doesn't. the one that will stick by your side no matter how much you mess up. and the one who will forgive you mistake after mistake

i sigh with tears in my eyes flop myself down onto my bed & whisper over & over " what did i do wrong? "

she's starting to wonder if the tears will ever s t o p

Monday, August 14, 2006

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 14:58:42 GMT

Its been a long time since the first times. The first time we met to the first time we kissed...to our first fight to our first good-bye our first tears...to the last "I love you." People say you never realize what you have until you lose it. In a way...they're right. But I never took you for granted because I knew any day I could wake up& you would be gone. I just hoped so much it wouldn't be for a very long time. But now I miss all those things I never really noticed. Like how much I miss your hands holding mine & most of all ¦I miss your smile. No matter what was going wrong, all you had to do was give me that smile of yours & somehow I knew everything was going to be all right. I haven't seen that smile forever. I just keep hoping I'll see it again so I can have that feeling that everything is going to be all right again. I'm not all right. I'm anything but okay right now. I just keep wondering if I'm ever on your mind. Or if you ever miss my smile too. I wonder if you ever wake up in the middle of the night praying that I'll be there. I miss you so much. There's nothing I can say that would ever make you understand just what you mean to me. I want more than anything to see your smile again knowing it's for me. I need something to hang on to. I need you.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 08:35:09 GMT

So time kinda flys by fast at the same time it doesnt.. wow.. its almost my 18th birthday, ya crazy i kno huh!!! its in lik a week an one day.. wow.. wher did the years of my childhood go.. anyways.. life right now is bascially great for the most part, i am loving how things are goin right now an i really hope they only get better.. school starts less than a month an big senior.. wow the years did go by really fast.. graduating next may 07' .. wow.. im really glad i made it this far tho i am very proud of myself an happy with wher stand right now.. i am lookin for a car right now an cant seem to find one i like really cuz i want it to be the one for me even if its not the best thing out there.. joe is coming to town less than one month im excited.. well me an my mom are gettin closer kinda she is one crazy woman tho ((tara you kno)) lol an tara leeann you are the sweetest girl ever an i love you more than you can imagine, your awesome an thanks for always bein by myside, i love that you care bout me so much an your comfort always soothes everything.. thank you.. anyways well ima end this so peace easy folks an much love

I genuinely really love her. She honestly has my heart. It's all her's, resting in her hands. She can do whatever she wants with it. She can protect it & shelter it & treat it with care, or she can crush it & tear it apart & shatter it. It's such a frightening realization to come to, to see that you've given so much of yourself, such an integral part of yourself, to someone & now it's theirs to do what they please with it.

i could write a 400 chapter novel on every little thing i love about her

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 10:10:58 GMT

Wuts up.. not much has changed so im guessing Myspace is the new Xanga so slowly everyone moved ther but i like leaving my updates on here so im gonna continue to do so.. but anyways life right now is pretty good, tara is at my house everyday cuz she works at direct tv but it makes me so damn happy cuz we are together all the time.. i love you tara!! work for me is goin ok except i got the whole week off basically but ill get more hours next week.. im not ready for school to start but then again i am cuz i will be graduating this year!! yay!! time has went by so fast its crazy last nite me an tara went to her sisters house an her nephews have gotten so big its crazy cuz when me an tara first got together they were so tiny an she could hole them in her arms now they r running around talkin baby talk its so cute.. an sky is 11 now her bday was yesterday we went to lisa's an visted ther it was cool... well joe is coming back down to oklahoma at the end of august, im excited very much!! i miss you joe!!! well i got to go.. much love from the bug!!!

I don't like missing you. But I love having you to miss.
eVeRy TiMe We KiSS.. i SWeAR i CAN FLY
It's all just magic when I think about you. & when I'm not with you, I go crazy.
she learned & she'll continue to smile no matter how much it hurts
as much hurt as you caused as much pain as i dealt with i wouldnt have traded you for the world

I love this girl right here!!

((i got my vans on but they look like sneakers))

Friday, July 21, 2006

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 15:01:07 GMT

well since last week not much has changed just workin an shit.. tara has been stayin at my house everyday so thats fun, im lovin it alot!! i love you baby so much!! well i havent been doin much. ha!! just stayin home an gettin closer to my sister an me tara an rach are like foreal closer now.. heheh... my bday is real soon 19days til!!! yeppie!! hehe.. u me an tara have been doin good we have alot of fun together well i have anyways, she makes me smile like crazy!!!! cheese please!! well we got a puppy its mostly tara's but its still mine too, she makes us both happy!! dont you lexie((thats her name!!)) well TOMMRROW!!! is lik the happiest day of my life no joke, thats when me an tara got together last year, yep it was!!! one year... tara im so in love with you.. well i just wanted to put a quick post so catch ya on the gay side lol!! xoxo much love...

sometimes one smile means more then a dozen roses...

I may be confused about a lot of things, but I knows the only time i'M truely happy is when i'M with her.

she leaned over & kissed me. I kissed her back & then, our eyes met & it was like we both knew… So we smiled & kissed again. It was so perfect.

i love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person and tara you make me laugh more than anyone even has..

i didnt plan on falling in love with you & i doubt if you planned on falling in love with me but once we met it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us, we fell in love dispite our differences & once we did something rare & beautiful was created for me, love like that has only happened once.. thats why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory i will never forget a single minute of it

Friday, July 14, 2006

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 09:44:52 GMT

so umm since monday.. not shit really.. summer has been good so far.. spending time with my sister since she has been back.. its crazy cuz i am so mean to her but its not like i am tryin to be and tara always gets on to me bout it cuz i mean so much to her an that makes me feel good but at the same time i just get frustrated at times even if she hasnt done anything.. i kno we are just way to close thats why we always get into it all the timecuz we kno where are points are an we push them alot.. but anyways i love her very much and she is fixin to be 17 wow my lil sister is grownin upp, ill be 18 real soon tho to.. well tara has been at my house for the past week cuz she gots ta get up super early every morning, but i like that she is here cuz it means more time with her and that means more memories for us.. wow almost one year.. its crazy how time flys by so fast but yet it was so slow.. its amazing how far we have came.. i love you tara.. so i got a new friend kandi and she is a awesome person like foreal, she cracks me up and its so easy to talk to her and feel like its ok she doesnt put anything i say down or disagree she sees im a person with my own choices and even tho i havent known her long she is a really great friend already.. so we are goin to oyp this weekend and my lil sister is goin wit so im excited bout that... well gtg one love.. xoxo

and just incase you were wondering, you are her entire world..

& as the years go by your real friends start to stand out a little bit more

being with y o u is the most amazing feeling in the world. everytime i see y o u i get the most incredible feeling in my stomach. i f e e l like the luckiest person in the world to have you beside m e

i'm the girl who loves you inside & out, backwards and forwards, with my heart hanging out i love no other way

& it all comes down to that last person you think about before you fall asleep...

whats up???

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 11:43:04 GMT

so um updating.. well lets see nothing has really changed much.. just goin to work.. the 4th of july was hella fun, of course i was with tara... lol well umm oyp every saturday, ((Tara loves you!!!))<written by tara)) lol anyways ya she just had her lunch break, today was her first day.. so far she is liking it, she made a friend lol!! ok anyways.. back to about oyp Autumn won Mr.OYP, it was awesome i was excited like really excited cuz it was fun an i had a pretty damn good time this weekend.. i hung out with ash an mel an stuff, an my new friend kandi, she is awesome like foreal, we were hanging out an i was laughing so hard i thought i was gonna cry lol.. saw my good friend ash at OYP i love her much, she is awesome too.. so exactly 1MONTH TIL MY 18th BIRTHDAY!!! yay!! i cant wait, its not really that ill be 18 its more of the stuff i can do when im 18 like bein able to go to the clubs an late nights.. an more jobs i can get bein 18, like i am gonna stay at sears its just that when im ready to get a different job i will look for a better paying one, ya kno? anyways ive just bein doin the same stuff hanging out with Tara and enjoying our time together an enjoying the summer.. i got my photos developed from like a year ago or so an wow its crazy how much things change an how much people change.. great memories i will never forget.. sometimes i wish i could go back to those days just cuz they were great but then again i am loving the memories that are bein made now.. xoxo.. much love..

Most girls say they want a fairy tale But you taught me that that's not really what I want I want someone who will make fun of me and laugh at my jokes even if they aren't funny Someone who will wrestle with me and Yeah, riding off into the sunset on a white horse would be nice but playing thumb-war with you seems so much better

she doesn't care if you call her & wake her in the middle of the night. she hates arguing, but you know shes good at it. shes doesnt like being alone at night, but when she thinks of you, she smiles. she laughs at your jokes even if they're dumb. she loves the way you stare at her and she wouldn't change that for the world

when you get lonely, just look at the places between your fingers
& remember thats where mine fit perfectly

she has future plans & dreams at night. when they tell her life is hard, she says " THAT`S ALRiGHT. "

..::hows life::..

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 00:14:39 GMT

well since umm about a week ago i was at home again cuz i had a damn meeting in the morning but umm saturday i went to OYP.. went to lisa's ((adoring the babies)) about babies everyone is havin babies im super sad cuz i want a baby but umm im gay i cant have one an plus i gotta finish out the school year an college. but paige smith is havin twins im super excited bout that she is so happy an im so happy for her, shandi is havin a baby omg wow i love that girl like crazy an she is havin a baby wow.. congrats on the both of you two!!! well umm got tara's lip pierced it looks really good, i have just been spending time with her as always we cant ever be apart for very long, thats just us, we are the best of friends an can always tell each other how we fell on any subject an we will both still be understanding.. i love you tara!!! an umm i went to mels an hung out wit her a ash yes i missed them soo much they are my fav!!! hung out with toni i love you girl!! well um just workin an shit thats all for me other than that i still am standing tall an holdin my ground.. holdin on to my hope an pride.. much love <3

No matter how many times she hurts me I will always forgive her Some may call it stupid. I call it love.

&& everytime i try to give up hope whispers "ONE MORE TRY…"

All the best love stories have one thing in common You have to fight for what you want risk what you have and love til the end

all i need right now is for you to wrap me up in your arms look me in the eyes & tell me you wont ever give up on our LOVE <3

I want to be with you forever To end my days in your arms I want to one day take that long walk down the aisle And when I take that walk I want you to be the one I walk to I want you to be the one there that takes my hand And from then on never lets it go i want to have babies together and watch them grow happily I want you to hold me in your arms all night while I sleep To wake up to you beside me would make me insanely happy I want to build the rest of my life with you by my side I want you to be the one I find my home with I want you to know you are my one and only For nothing would make me happier than if you are all that..

long time no talk..

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 23:59:28 GMT

long time since i updated huh? lol!! well ive just been workin an stayin home an goin to tara's house.. im doin ok kinda still on the anxious side really just personal shit tho.. ive been goin to OYP every saturday an ive gotten closer to my best friend toni we talk on the phone at least 5 times a day or we have been recently so that makes me happy, it seems like everyone is doin alright not bad but not good just livin life, im proud of ashley she got a good job an loves it an jinn im proud of also, she is gettin her own place, tara got the job at direct tv.. finally after peeing god knos how many times lol!! sorry bout that sweety!! but im proud of you guys really!! well im goin to get tara's lip pierced tommrow excited much!! she is more tho well guess i better get off here much love!!!

LOVE MY DRUG, her SOUR LiPS THE POiSON & Her HEART MY ADDiCTiON
I think I found my new addiction tonight

So what if I think too much or if I over analyze things So what if I can't eat or sleep… At least you'll know why cuz You're always on my mind..

the best kind of kiss is the unexpected unplanned ones that come naturally like in the middle of a sentence
**neveroverlookwhatsrightinfrontofyoureyes**
************************************************************************************

everyday people ask "are you guys still going out"
& you don't realize
how painful and hard it is to reply,
"no we're friends"