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chsbabeegirl4ever
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Name: britt
Country: United States
State: Kentucky
Birthday: 11/8/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: cheerleading, basketball, softball, skating, biking, TUMBLING!! HORSEBACK RIDING!!! four wheeling and etc
Expertise: kissing, boys, relationships, i can give excellent advise!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  iluvericagin
Yahoo:  bestkisser15
Member Since:
3/21/2004
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| I dont see how my parents think i am everything they think i am. I handle so much i cant always please them. Actually it seems as though more than half the time i am disappoiting them. I am either not smart enough or not responsible enough or im doing stuff i was told not to do. They have so many rules its hard to keep them all straight. For instance Dont take anything without asking but allow others to take your things and not get upset. I am suppose to not hit my brother when he hits me and just come and get them when he does so but then as soon as they leave the room he does it agian its just teaching him he can get away with bullying people when adults arent around and that he shouldnt / doesnt deserve to be hit back. They tell me they love me yet the constantly are yelling. I can't ever do anything right. How am i supposed to do so much in such a little amount of time. I have 8 hours of school and 8 hours of sleep. I have homework and chores and a family and friends that i have to maintain relationships with. I need personal time to figure out who i am and what i need and want and what i need to accomplish in order to get to where i want to be in my life. I have four years of high school to map out and prepare for my life. How can i do that. I am only a child. Children arent meant to be in school for eight hours then two hours of homework then and hour for chores, dinner, bathing. That leaves such a little amount of time to be a kid. I am learning everyday from new expereinces and meeting new people. I am growing with every step i take. I have yet to experience it all. I havent graduated or married or had kids of my own nor am i ready too. I just would like to be a kid. To go to the park and climb the trees in my grandmas yard, too skate with my dad, and play with my mom. I want to bond with my sister but its so hard with such an age difference. Sometimes i feel like her mother, like when im woken up in the middle of the night to get her chocolate milk or when i am baby-sitting and im combing her hair. I love the feeling but sometimes its overwelming. It just seems like I am growing up to fast like there is so much to do an only so little time. I have these two amazing parents that take care of me and a mother that loves me but doesn't no how to show it. Sometimes i just wish i was 4 again and me and my mom (thersa) and my dad would go to the zoo and swing me back and forth down that long, black pavement. Sometimes i wish i was 20 and could leave and never come back. They think i have it so easy and i no i do compared to some people but just cause i have a roof over my head and food in the pantry doesn';t mean i have it any easier. I have so many things on my mind. I mean they don't have to worry about searching for someone because they have already found each other, and they don't have to worry about the long days at school with the drugs and rumors, and the boys. They certainly didn't have to worry about there mother dying of lung cancer. They weren't concerned about the fact that she was alone and she was okay with that. They don't have to worry about whether there going to have time to clean the house when they get home or not becasue i do it before they get home. They don't have to worry about the whether or not there grades are what there expected to be at the end of each quarter or whether there going to understand the next lesson in Algebra. They don't have to worry about alot of things i do. They don't understand what i am going through because they are living my life and aren't walking in my shoes. They think they know it all but they have no idea! School isnt as funn as they remember. | | |
| hey people today was ok i got to huggs from paul dickinson and i got a tap/smack on the butt from joey lol wow today was pretty boring but tomorrow im going to jades party and that should be ok i like hanging out with younger people i feel superior and wise lol theyll probably just want me to put up there hair and give them a makeover. Aww i feel so loved lol.... I got dt today for shoes i got for christmas... Mrs. Chinn was like Sara stand up and she did and then she goes raise your hands up and shes like okay you can sit down ... she wrote up like 6 ppl for dress code and then i was like miss chinn are u trying to gett ppl into trouble just kidding around and she looks me up and down and said you can go see mr. laddwix... our v.p grr she was looking for someway to get me into trouble without actually saying im grumpy and i dont like lil girls who smart off to there teachers. i wear those shoes all the time and not one teacher has ever yelled at me for them being out of compliance
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| Today im home sick... I miss my mom and my cat, twosocks, who died a few days after christmas... My dad and step mom told us we would get a new one but we haven't yet! I found out that my freinds dad died. I can't imagine what he must be going through... We all tend to see these kind of things around us but always tend to think they can never happen to us. When this sort of thing happens we say were sorry for your lose but what does it matter? Theyre still gone. I recently read a book called "tuesdays with morrie". It starts out dull but i recommend this book or even the movie, but its alittle harder to find. Morrie teaches one of his old college students how to coop with death. He tells him that you should wake up each morning thinking theres a bird on your shoulder. And you should ask it is this the day little bird that i am going to die. In doing this, your preparing yourself for the time. And you'll live your life differently. Instead of passing the beggers on the street talk to them, give them a dollar. Don't ignore the fact that theyre there. In stead of walking out the door take time to give your spouse a kiss and tell your kids you love them and to have a great day. It could be the last chance to do so. Take time to notice the fresh air when you walk by the neighbors garden, Old lady Cromwell could always be reminded that the work on it, is noticed. I know we all tend to think were gonna grow old and live life the fullest but have you? Do we all get that time? No! My grandma died at forty. Leaving her two sons and daughter and granddaughter(me) and husband to fen for themselves. She smoked and my mom does as well. I've done the math and my mom will only have 5 years left with me if she passes on at forty too. I love my mom to death and the feeling is mutaul. I want her to stop smoking so bad because i fear for her life. I don't no how to cop. with death and i need my mom around. I want her to be there to see me graduate. I want her there to help me plan my wedding and name my children. She can't do that if she stuck in a grave. My mom smokes around three packs a day i Know its hard to stop when your so addicted to them but if she loved me enough she WOULD do it! I just wish my mom would reliese just because i have a step mom doesn't mean that she can give up her duties as a mom and she has to have some kindof role in my life. And just because i have a stepmom doesn't mean she took my moms spot in my life. I have enough room in my heart for the both of them. Sometimes i wish my parents would have got married but then i would never have had anyone too take me to my softball practice in 6th grade or my tumbling in 7th becaus ethats what thersa has done for me. Shes taking time out of her life to make mine better. and i would never of had my brothers and my sister and my cat and my hampsters and probably alot of other things.I don't see her that often anymore because i have things to get done, and people to see. I'm growing up and sometimes its just really hard. I feel like im doing all on my own and no-one is there to help me along the way. Im lonely and no my mom is because im not there and shes not married and her brothers and father maybe see her once a month. I don't want my mom to die alone. I want her to no i love her and need her and miss her and i think she should get married and i no its scary but i also no she loves her boyfreind. I want her to no that just because grandma died of lung cancer and left pepa(grandpa) doesn't me that she will die and leave him all alone she can quit its not to late. ((crying)) I wish my mom would seriously consider all the above because its for her best interests. But i no she won't, because i no her. She hasn't chnaged a bit. She stil smokes. She still drinks. She still works third shifts, And we still eat out everytime im there. I dont think ive ever seen REAL food in the frigde. Can't she just take the role of a mother.. i Know she had to alone there for a while and being so young im sure it was tough but i still need her even if im basically an adult. | | |
| I saw Emily today and asked her why she kept signing on then immediatly getting back off and she said idk... I knew why though. She didn't want to talk about chris! Why is everyone dismissing the fact that chris and I kissed? I mean, did it really matter? People kiss all the time! Why is everyone freaking out? I like chris and he did tell me we were just freinds but he must feel something more because he kissed me twice and frenched me twice...and we certainly hug alot! You don't do that to a friend.. I think he is scared of being in a relationship... I think he's scared of being hurt or that if we do break up that it will change the relationship we've made for ourselves. I like being around him and I like the fact that he makes me smile, and writes songs and teases me. Why do boys play with your head? I always get mixed signals from boys... One minute there all hugging you, telling you you're pretty... Then they go and hang out with some friends and they ask him do you like her? And the answer is a plain no.. bummer! It hurts and it puts you down.. You just don't no how to deal with that sortof thing.. guys that is.. its seemed like 2 years a go getting a guy was no problem... Am i just two picky whats the deal? No guys are two picky... They watch porn and look at dirty magazines and they get this image in there head that thats the girl for them but girls aren't like pornstars, and the beauty on the inside is much more appealing than the out. Why is it looks are so important? Why can't people concentrate on the more important things in life such as war, famine, and disease? I mean wouldn't peole rather like spending there time knowing the faact that there saving lives or helping someone live to see there children grow up, graduate, get jobs, and start a family of there own? Why is it we all seem to live in our own little boxes and no-one seems to get the bigger picture? How is it that getting a boy to like is more important than saving a starving seven year old Iraqian boy? Why are teenage girls not sticking to there morals? Why do they find themselves in sticky situations where they need to have sex... or even have oral sex.... I just don't get it! If you love your future wife/husband and kids wouldn't you save yourself instead of risking there lives with STI's. Why does there world feel tdhey NEED sex? They don't but the people in this world do need food and homes and clothes.... They need money to support there families thanks to sex! I don't understand people these days i don't even understand myself there is so many things i worry about and only so much i can do! | | |
| Oh My God i cant believe this shit... I went to school and things were weird between me and chris... I think brandon and Josh were givin him sh t because i like him... I was walkin with Brittany Barnes and Emily comes up and gives me this note tells me its from chris and i asked if she read it she tells me yea chris said she could and i was like did u read the one i sent him she said no i was like GOOD! then she tells me everyone else did though.... The letter includes" brit dont get mad at me! Look what i said about not watnin a girlfreind was serious. I don't want to go out with you... the whole kiss thing shouldn't have happened and i don't want you tellin people. I don't want you feeling weird around me or treating me as your boyfreind, sorry but i'm not! I don't want to hurt your feelings but I have to be straight with you. It was a mistake and it won't happen again. Your my friend and that's how I want to keep it. Just don't go crazy and start hating me. I don't want to be your crush. I don't want you to cry over me, so please, read this and understand... Chris ps never go to my house again
how can i not get mad or hurt or anything... i didnt ask him or even expect him to go out with me just keep it in mind... and he could of just said i dont like u like that instead he had to play around with me then rip my  out.... im not dumb i got the point... | | |
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