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classyswearing
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Name: genevieve :)
Gender: Female
Expertise: Being retarded. (: freaking out. (: Talking nonsense. LOVING PEOPLE! <3 blogging. web designing! :)
Occupation: Student! (:
Industry: Retards United. :DDD
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
8/9/2006
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| sorry.
a thousand times i fell
your mercy remains
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| reflections?never thought i'll be posting here? but um. i just thought. its the end of the year. and that maybe i should come back to this blog and just reflect about this year. not meaning to sound emo or anything, but i'm really disappointed. in myself. for a lot of reasons that kind of hurt me, actually. a self righteous proclaiming bitch. i feel that i'm not worthy of you guys, and idk why you guys are willing to accept me as a friend. God is real good to have sent you guys to me, to accept me for the unworthy person i am. yeah. i'm real disappointed in my results, behaviour, character. sometimes it strikes me that i'm not a very good daughter, or friend, maybe. i ask myself. those people who backstab me, are they doing it because i hurt them before? when i think about it it hurts me that i even cry, but then i just well. i'm very confused. but i know i've grown in my spiritual maturity, esp these few days. i've really... my faith level has really been boosted by Gerald. i know its freaking weird and whatever lah. but that day, that talk, i could really sense faith and passion in his eyes. idk what makes me feel like this, maybe its the fire being carried on... i just really want to serve God. i, i don't know. i'm determined to bring friends to church, to outreaches, to evangelistic meetings. but sometimes i don't know. cause... i have 2 sides. and i don't show the other side to the other group. what would their reaction be? twofaced bitch? sigh. i just have to hope and pray for the best, cause i know my God is bigger than the devil (hah, chew on that) and that i can overcome any battle and emerge with victory with God by my side.
also, the church has begun to have its second building fund. i personally pledged a faith amount of $500+, im not very sure how i'm gonna accomplish it, but i'll manage here and there. after all, if esther, julie and xy are doing $2k, i should have no problem... sometimes i feel that theres a bit of competition but God just keeps telling me, "be like the woman with 2 coins". and i always feel comforted its really great and i feel happy but then the devil is always poking at me its so... "urgh! eff off you fugly little devil" haha. um, yeah. also, there is no more emerge and when i heard the news i was really disappointed. cause like, emerge has really had a great impact on me. that was where i really opened up to some of our church people, and somehow i managed to click really well with the guys instead of the girls. guess cause like since i was doing the flying and all i had to interact with more guys instead of girls. in a way i felt that i was pretty out of place, but hey guys can be great friends too yo. funny people, always entertaining me and making me happy with all their mad funny antics. haha. love those people, yeah. to be truthful, i really opened up to them, the most. more than even my cell people. hmm. anyway, there is the new service at jurong now... some aare moving over there,the servce starts at 12pm. aha. for us oldies still at expo, it'll be 9.30am! wahhhh seh ): harder to get friends to come over. yeah well i really hope i can bring more friends to church, i havent really been spiritually disciplined and all this yr, i'll have to buckup on that (heh)
in the area of school i'm really really been let down again and again! sigh. term 1,2 did really badly. term3,4 did really well. eoys were a disaster. i know. i know. im really disappointed so you guys dont have to rub it in. yeah. to be frank i got a b4 for average, and i cried when i got them. i was so freaking disappointed. even worse when i realised in far east shoppping talking to lenny on the phone that we weren't in the same class. shes in 2i and i'm in 2h. um, i guess i'm quite happy with my class, and God is giving me a second chance,to prove myself worthy and smart, heh i really know i am gonna push myself next year i'm gonna slog like a horse. i keep telling myself "god is already giving you a chance. you gotta reach out and grab it, just like the guy whose iron axe fell into the water. jesus told him to reach out and grab it. if this opportunity passes and you still ain't grabbing it, there wont be a third chance" i know i gotta do well this time. i cant let them down again, no. not angel or krystle or my friends or parents or whatever... most importantly GOD. how am i spposed to shine if i'm like this??? theres really no shame in doing this at all, shit. i recall liser asking me how i did. and she said that i ken ding did very well... and i guess i'm really too ashamed to face the truth. no liser, i didn't do well at all, not at all. its.. freaking depressing. mymymy this is getting so emo (haha)
friends? ahaha, this area, i'm proud to say i've probably fared the best in... im sure i made some pretty true friends here. lenny, zhang, tessa, lyn, maxine, liser, cindy, nicole, amanda... sheesh we've been thru real struggles, crying and laughing, smiling and joking, ah, all these times i will never forget. lenny zhang and tessa will be in a different class next year together but me max and lyn are gonna 2h. i'm just... hoping for the best, hoping that our teachers will be good, our class will work together be cooperative & stuff. i'm... i'm not sure but i really wanna stand out, not for beingbad i hope. hehe. yeah, and well i'm really glad to say i think i've patched things up with rachael, cause i think we really hurt each other in the beginning of the year maybe, and i've really been hoping that shes not mad at me, haha as much as it pains me to say i've really no shame and dignity but i seek approval from others. lol -.- urh. and our ex teacher jas/ms choe is good friends with us, haha, its really cool how you can go, "whos jas" "oh she's my teacher/good friend" haah, and you get that stunned look o.o HAHA yeah... she's really impacted my life in many extraordinary ways~ also with church friends. the true church mates i can talk to are only julie, xy, yx. babes. hahaha too bad i didn't catch yx in a skirt that day... ): disappointing? oh well. yeah. i really thank god for true friends and that in the year to come God will bless me with more and more great friends, awesome shizz! uh well. so yeah? i thank god for zhang, whose been a really awesome friend this year and someone i will NEVER ever forget... and idk if she counts me as a best friend because we're always gonna be brothers, and i love her so much! i thank god for lenny, whose laughter never fails to make my day, whose whining never fails to stop me from smacking her either (x i thank god for tessa, whose cuteness just makes me feel warm deep inside, whose friendliness brings the spirit of 1h constantly ringing in my ears. i thank god for lynette, who NEVER fails to cheer me up, to pick me up when i'm down, to gossip in class! super sweet girl ~ i thank god for maxine, whose bimboness never fails to amuse me... haha well, for just being maxine, being maxine and being maxine (although mirrors dont really like her XD) i thank god for cindy, who annoys me all the time with her sexy deep voice and musculine touch and for being a neat freak. so many blessings in my life, i loveeeeeeeeeeeee you all, so much!
merry christmas and a happy new year in advance, yall<3
mmhmm... errrrrr
the rest, see you next year!
(http://dirty-masquerade.blogspot.com)
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movingthere. see you around. don't forget to link me, fellas! :D HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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| &&Happy New Year! :)Hey everyone! :D happy new year! haha... so big! lol. BIG GREETINGS! Happy New Year! :) Its going to be 2007 in 1 hour 17 minutes! :D I'm so excited! :) LOVEHLAYY! sorry that was so rahhrahh random! xD lollies. :) Quoted from the song in My Fair Lady. Super niceo show. :D heehee. ya. anyway, I was wondering if I should move my blog. =/ I think I most probably wouldn't but I really really wanna & feel like. :(( boohoo's. oh well. we shall just see! =3 can you ACTUALLY believe it? My sister's are watching High School Musical AGAIN! like, wth. That show is nice but kinda outdated already. & next to that, its like, boring after awhile. Ugh. Oh well. Let kids be kids, not that I'm implying that I'm all old & grown up already but... I guess I move on when its time too. :D OK I'M NOT BEING PHILOSPHICAL OK VAL! haha. spent the whole day out with friends at church. :) WOW-it was super fun! So sad Stefanie couldn't come! :(( actually at first she could come then she told her father some stuff that Angel was talking 2 us about. boohooowooboo. :( her father got all angry & didn't let her come. So sad. She should have came! We went to O-School which is a dance school that our church set up. Omg its damn cool lorh. The graffiti wall esp. :) I wanna learn dance there so fricking hot! :DDDD CLICK HERE! for the website. :) Its super cool ok. The thanksgiving cell group (actually it was like the whole subzone coming together! xD) was super fantastically wonderfully coooooooool! :D I tell you man, you should have been there. =D IT ROCKED. <3 ultimate fun-ness. xD lol. all it lacked was a gift ex-change. HAHAHH. the drama was super nice. Hands up for krystle. JIAYOU! <3 loads of things to talk about yet I have no words to speak. or text. WHATEVER! oh well. Shall write abit on what Pastor Kong & Brother Boon Kiat preached today.
Strength is the ability to bounce back again and again and again after you've been knocked down. sounds familiar? hehh. shall leave you to ponder on that. :D Its someone famous. You should know him after awhile. Or else I'll just have to resort to saying that you're really not from this world. xD The way you end your year is the way you're going to be starting the new year. End it well, start it wonderfully. Remember these pointers that Boon Kiat pointed out.
1-Thank God for everything good! - Godliness with contentment is good game.
2-Learn from the bad! - (Proverbs13:18) do not repeat the same mistake twice & you will be honoured.
[a] Share your mistakes with someone older&more mature than you.
[b] Have an action plan.
[c] Be more open&teachable when sharing your faults.
3-Expect in God for the best
... and he will do the rest! :) he gives you illusion in the appearance of truth. i give you truth in the pleasant disguise of illusion. yeah. it actually says more than what you read & think. Night fellas. Happy new year. Hope is an attitude of optimism. <3
love;; gennn<3 | | |
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ok. I had a "wonderful" haircut. oh goodness. :( I am going to be the "talk of the town" when school starts. How absolutely FANTASTIC. D: how absolutely WONDERFUL. :( boohoo-ness! sigh. why does my mum always have to force me into doing stuff I don't wanna do? :( wtbong. I'm a grumpy red sack now. :( pooh-eee. :( There are quite many reasons why but I don't think I'll say them & go into the details. =x
oh now guess what. my sisters are at loggerheads. HOW ABSOLUTELY FRICKING GREAT. Just what I need to cheer me up. ugh. & to top it up, my hair is like super short & can tie a ponytail like what? 1mm. short. :( argh! why does today have to irritate me so much? :( I shall just go rant on my private blog. x( Sighs. :( Nothing goes right these days. PLUS[+], school is starting.
Anyway, sorry I haven't been updating much, there's a lot going on, christmas&the new year, school books, uniform, socks. And that just a tiny part of it all. There is also the drama, the skits, food, fun & such in cell group, service in Church, gathering with relatives! Yep. Alot of it is pretty exciting, but it takes like, ALOT of planning & phone calls! =x not to mention the phone bills... =D heehee.
oh I just heard from my cousin Suelynn! (father's side) The horror cousins are back at it! (note=horror cousins are the cousins which are terrible, emphasize more later) and the poopinator (youngest kid from my father's older brother) had farted 2ce in her room ! lololololol. xD Hahah! Poor her. Her brother is farting like all the time. xD
More about the horror cousins:
consists of 2 members=older sister&younger brother. The terroriser is more of the younger brother. Suspected of having ADHD. Super hyper& mean. Eats his faeces, bites his rottweiler, kisses people&strangers! Watch ouut! Older sister suspected of being crazy too. Quiet but vicious. Laughs like a witch, chilling. Glares coldly, snotty&proud. Irritating&annoying.
5 days to school starts. Oh I'm dreading that day. x-sigh-x. me & my friend Clarisse use that as like a code. :D haha. x-sigh-x means diao+sigh+die la! haha... its like well, kinda hard to exxplain so nevermind! roflolmao. (: I feel so weird. Like I'm very lifeless. There are so many people around me but I feel alone. Stressed, freaked, ugh. EMOTIONS!
ok. I'm off to play games now. :D If you're bored, you can always check out mofunzone.com & crazymonkeygames.com! (: haha. kbye!
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