My love in Kelly Clarkson is renewed.

OMG.

The new album is spectacular. <333. Buy it or be deprived.

1. Never Again-We've already heard this so it doesn't count.

2. One Minute-Sounds like funkytown in the beginning of it. The chorus is insanely catchy and the lyrics are really cute. "One minute you laugh//the next minute you're slowly sinking into something black//I get the feeling that nothing ever seems to last//I keep trying to get up but I keep falling back //And you love, and you hate, and you wait//Cause one minute goes fast"

3. Hole-Probably the edgiest song Kelly has ever done. Her voice is so powerful in the verses and chorus, it draws you in.

4. Sober-This song builds so beautifully. Musically and lyrically, one of the best she's ever done. The ending part, she hits a high C flawlessly and you have to pick your jaw up off the floor.

5. Don't Waste Your Time-Sounds like it's off of Breakaway. It's more pop compared to the rest of the album, but more rock compared to Breakaway? Sure, let's go with that.

6. Judas-the beginning creeps me out. I don't know why. But then it turns into yet another fantastic song with a rockier edge.

7. Haunted-this song is so perfect in so many different ways that I can't describe it. Phenomenal <3

8. Be Still-the best ballad Kelly has ever done. Sweet, meaningful lyrics that she can deliver in her voice easily.

9. Maybe-The part where the band enters is spectacular. I love this song. It's about wanting to love someone, but you're not in the right point of your life to where you are willing to sacrifice certain things to maintain it.

10. How I Feel-my favorite uptempo song on the album. It's an in your face take me or leave me song. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......LOVE IT.

11. Yeah-sounds like an R&B song...kinda...maybe. lol. The first listen you won't like it, but you'll catch yourself dancing to it the second time around for sure.

12. Can I have a Kiss-Best lyrics on the album. "Don't move//I want to remember you//Just like this//Don't move//there's only a breath or two//between our lips." LOVE IT LOVE IT.

13. Irvine-a prayer to God. This song is so moving and touching. I find myself craving this song before I go to bed and when I wake up. Aside from How I Feel, best song on the album by far.

14.Chivas-definitely tongue in cheek humor. Sarcasm. I love it.

Stress and Nerves

do absolutely nothing for you.

I was seriously freaking out on Thursday, and for what? He didn't show up. I had been putting myself through unnecessary stress and anxiety. On Friday, I used a different approach. I accepted the fact that I was going to be nervous, and when I walked in to my audition, I felt calmer than I would've been if I had told myself I was going to be fine. So, I learned, accept the fact you know you're going to be nervous, and you'll feel a lot better. If you lie to yourself and say you're not going to be, you're gonna be like me on Thursday. Freaking out over something that wasn't as big as it appeared.

There are times when I feel like, no matter how lame it sounds, it's music that pumps through my veins. When I hear something I like, I play it the rest of the night. I find a way to relate to every song I hear. Whether I like it or not, I can always find a way to relate to everything I hear. Even if it doesn't have lyrics.

One of my favorite songs is "Just Perfect" by Ryan Montbleau. The first minute and ten or so seconds is just an acoustic guitar. I already loved the song before he started singing. Some people don't understand it. I don't expect them to. It's something I can't explain. I've found a joy in music...something I haven't found in anything else.

THE ANXIETY!

Isn't it amazing...

I deconstruct my thoughts...

Today I asked myself if I was happy with my life, if I was truly content with everything that went on. My first thought was "Shannon, don't think of this. There are a bajillion more people worse off than you are. Of course you're happy." And what reason did I have to think against this? I have two parents, siblings, amazing friends, a good education, freedome, pets..

I bet you're wondering why I would ever even question my own happiness, seeing as I have never gone through any real struggles as I know other people have. I see people day after day in their work clothes, they look miserable. They look almost sick with sorrow and regret. The way they speak about their job is the same way they describe their enemies. Why would you stick with something that makes you so angry? It's like eating your least favorite food Monday through Friday for every meal. I don't want to eat tofu and sushi the rest of my life. I don't want to work for my enemies. I don't want to hate my job. I want to be happy.

Whether that means living without much money, and doing what I love, or making a lot of money and doing what I love, it's all the same to me. As long as I'm not the woman who confides in her husband about how miserable she is, yet is too caught up in every day life to do anything about her complaints, it's worth it.

I am happy. I laugh a little harder than most, but, if I laughed any less, I wouldn't be me. Doing spontaneous stuff, like making Ronnie Day signs during lunch to hold up as the vans pass by, knowing that there's 99% chance it'll never be him, makes me laugh. Laughing is healthy. Making up a Ronnie Day call to yell to the cars on the highway, knowing there's a 100% chance he will never hear us, makes me laugh. Seeing people look at us with the words "wow, you guys are weird" printed across their faces...priceless.

My parents are some of the most influential people in my life, if not, the most influential. I feel like I can talk to them about anything, without them judging me in any sort of way, which I am extremely thankful for. I feel secure.

However, unfortunately, no one can ever live in complete bliss or happiness. Thomas Jefferson put "the right to pursuit of happiness" in there for a reason. Whether you like to consume yourself in it, or avoid it all together, there's evil in this world. There's always going to be something to get in the way of that happiness.

And the way to pursue it at all costs?

Surround yourself with people who make you smile, exclude yourself from those who hinder you from it.

That's why I am always in pursuit of happiness. I couldn't imagine spending my life without any of the people I am around now.

So yes, I answered my whole question. I am one of the happiest people in the world.