coffeeling's Xanga

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 08:31:53 GMT

when was the last time the ex-O gals baked happ^0^ness?...
a year ago. can't believe it.
it's not official, but let me name it as the annual baking day.
and, time flies... in an uncontrollably manner.

all of us except virginia are NOT so interested in idea of cooking. it's not so entertaining when figures and measurements play a part.

however, it's a lot of fun and joy when cooking is an experience to be shared ---- of course, especially when the "product" is for someone special.

to conclude, virginia is a weird creature, she is just toooo multi-talented. A very creative, all-rounded artist. Oh... what an artistic life

- annual baking day: jul 19, 2008
- people: wynne fung, virginia ngai, elaine tai, dorothy wu
- missing creature: gigi fok

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:52:43 GMT

company trip Changmai, jun 2008.

taipei, jul 2008 - - reconnection and exploration

@landmark cafe reopening, jul 2008

最近獲得許多自我新發現, 譬如話, 從個人成長發展的角度去理解自己喜歡一些人一些事的原因, 以及面對一個現實: 我已經不再是小孩了; 當然, 很早便不是了. 只是, 當自己被40/ ABOVE 的男性視為對象時, 總覺得有點怪怪。我有戀父情意結嗎? 無法100%否定. 但我知道, 這不是我想要的 (縱然朋輩或長輩所說有理.. [笑])

MITMIT 說, 她相信命數. 不像她吧
(如果我不相信, 為何會有恐懼)

無論如何, 我喜歡現在的自己, 真真切切的喜歡著
當恐懼和失望都不算甚麼, 便有前往的勇氣和心靈的自由
我覺得大佩玲找回自己了呵呵呵...

... 雖然, 我仍無法弄明白為何小王子要死在沙漠裡, 要死在毒蛇的口腹中。
又或者, 正因為B-612星球上存在很多蠱惑, 我們才相信 "看不見的東西"

MITMIT 愛心提示：喜歡一個人的理由．．．他／她讓你更喜歡你自己

想北。

是理所當然的吧. 然, 知己莫若己, 當中的非理性部份佔多少呢? 無法估量
需要改變, 需要踏出舒適領域
日復一日地看著生活似流水, 眼瞪瞪地看著日子被死線分割--- 似有意義卻還無---實在讓人倍感難過. well, 我是工作狂, 答案只有一個---- 這不是我想越過的死線

捨得。

"in search of you, i found myself"

Monday, May 26, 2008

Mon, 26 May 2008 12:42:10 GMT

just a quick recap of the highlights of the week for my deteriorating brain cells:

last wednesday i went to a private preview held by the leading auction house. the showcased artworks are great. the art fair is a good and enjoyable one, but by no means it can be compared to the preview. surrounded by the manificient artworks in various spheres, i felt deeply that the ART thing is really for the rich. would really love to take my hat off for the one who had the amazing idea of building museums, making art accessible to the common people. at the same time, found one more good thing about my job. the core question is: do i want to understand more about the rich??

Friday night - had a nice nice dinner with mitmit in a street restaurant. it's family-run. they always forgot one thing or the other thing, hai nan ji fan without fan, garlic bread without garlic bread. but it's very funny and entertaining...haha. whenever they have something extra, they will announce to the customers and see if anyone want to have an extra order. funny!

Saturday afternoon - "travelled" to yuen long and tin shui wei for that volunteer program. to some extent, i over-estimated my energy level and the will to commit. exhausting. i am not familiar with that community,and, even though i am from a poor family, it's still hard for me to imagine how hard life can be for them... but i believe it's something meaningful worth my footprints. i may be lighted up before i can light up anyone else.
somehow i feel a kind of resistance to this group of good-hearted volunteers. most of them are lampers whom i met before. I feel they are unreal, in comparison to the REAL world i am living every day. BUT I truely deeply know THAT's something, that little something I treasure.

we played several games. in one game, a bottle of water representing tin shui wai, was surrounded by flowers. asked how far we are from this community, all of us stood far far away from the bottle except one volunteer who is a policeman for this neighborhood. then, we were asked if those people there were our target customers. last question: if we were close to a happy childhood. I hesistated for a long while, and finally landed on somewhere between the middle point and the far end. this simple gesture surprised myself.

if it's really so true that a child must hear three sentences from his/ her father for good development, i think this explains the missing piece of me. better than nothing, i repeatedly heard these important words from various teachers/ mentors in my life. but still, something is missing. what i have been searching for?
this cloud of blues over-shadowed me over the weekend. and.. probably i have a clue now.

lu xing de yi yi.

@ Helen's wedding. In RED qi pao "chong hey" for her

似是故人來.. . 斯人獨飲醉.

Mon, 19 May 2008 13:34:09 GMT

it happened that i reunited with a lot of old faces last week. in an unplanned manner. almost

Monday - distracted by sunny

Tuesday - distraction continued... "farewell" lunch for sunny. People: sunny yung, leung tat wan, lee wing sum, and tai pui ling. Photo shown below.

Wednesday - went to the art fair with Cheung kin keung and bei fung

Thursday - lunch with Ross and Phoebus. 'long time no see!"

Saturday - dinner with Simon and Tiffany. sometimes, it's difficult for me to understand why they treat me so good!! why? maybe it's true - "love" is no reason. i met this couple six years ago during a trip to Gui Lin, with mama. (then i didn't go travelling with mama again.. hmm)
my change over these years has become significant only when i met with them again.
anti- mama --> less anti...in the past, i see it just a responsibility, and it's a heavy one.
and, in love, i have a better idea - if it's still not the very clear - about what kind of person i would love to grow old with...
i love this thought: when positive thinking is about being addicted to the best part of loving someone.

at midnight, met up with high school classmates marco and lee chun ching. funny, but not surprising, it was the first time for us to take photos together

Sunday - went to the art fair again -- just to see this pic

* * * * * * * * *

just now i got an email from marco wheat the Mr. Happiness. what a funny man.
interestingly, we are in the same situation: moved by the Amazing Grace of GOD, or, let's put it this way: we are moved by the wisdom and love AND LOVE in the Bible. but still, we are standing outside the door... for some reason.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mon, 12 May 2008 12:29:19 GMT

so, shown in the pic are my best friends wing and sunny.
had last drink with sunny before he is leaving on a jet plane tomo
actually, as he realised, i don't feel he is distant from us (me). feel like you are always around. so, please don't come back so often la. hohoho

though we are drinking at the same table, we are quite different
wing, just married, has begun her family life with a very typical chinese family man, someone whom she can depend on; sunny, like me, is preparing himself for a journey. but unlike him, i don't really have a plan/ destination in mind... as always, i prefer 'exploration". i am motivated only by possibilities.

when i was twenty something, i thought i would have been married at my age now :-p
to somone whom i love being with,
somone whom i can walk through darkness with...
this thought is becoming heavy for a stubborn me...
for sentimental reason

it's probably a surprise to may that after two sundays i still want to go to her new church on the third sunday. for the first time in life, i want to keep it up. it's good for my soul and mind. the priests of may's new church interpret the bible in quite a different way, inspiring and insightful -- especially good for people like me who don't understand much about the bible.

"... it's written.. .."

00:27

@cafe Right..

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:28:40 GMT

walking McCafe in causeway Bay! ~~ free cups in our hands ;-D

initially wanted to carry out my work plan today, but
with ONE EVIL call from weird mitmit, i
skipped my dance lesson and work plan, and, finally visited the Mackie Kitchen
yeah, finally..
okie, the fact is -- i don't want to work
ling becomes more and more lazy.
when i truely believe that i should be more lazy, i am much happier...
seriously, life is better lived if sharing more time with important ones.

** excited about new life in Beijing...
climbing on the Long Wall during weekends (so "ying')
hanging around in art zones like 798
having endless sips of frothy coffee in solitude....
viewing great stage performances in various theatres..

mitmit has a much more concrete plan than me. Hers is confirmed.
at least, if i really station in BJ, she can play with me la~ yeah!!

a very impressive scene in the street.. ho sai lei

under the same shelter with policemen @798

* visual notes for the very relaxing biz trip in BJ ##

＂懷念往日那淡薄的清草味.. .

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 12:48:14 GMT

電影節的連場好戲, 只看了一齣"牧羊人之戀"
如果不是拜仁布推介, 大概又這樣錯過 (實在認為布兄應該從事文化工作..)
牧羊人的愛情在鏡頭下顯得"抵死"有趣, 卻又不失愛情的崇高尊貴
他的投河明志令人匪夷所思, 但
曾幾何時 --- 在某個被遺忘的年紀,
我也曾為瓊瑤筆下的殉情故事感動過

from the movie: "..soul is invisible..." (hahaha..)

星期一, 終於與飛機王林卓傑在PIZZA HUT吃晚飯
友人是全職魔術師，他堅持要作實力派的代表，少理外表和磅數
雖然他比我更神化，但我其實頗欣賞和佩服他的
難得他可以為了這個堅持那麼久

我堅持的　又是甚麼

"生命誠可貴　自由價更高
若為愛情故　兩者皆可拋"　By ... 忘了

ling is to empty her bag..

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 15:03:33 GMT

elaine & virginia @chaenl moblie atr, march 29, 2008

gathering with my great ex-colleagues! ~ you gals are super and wonderful ;-*

@culture club, central. a nice cafe.. studio feel... cool cool oh..

funny how it seems...
i paid a lot of effort to get into this industry
but in the end, i found myself in the art & culture stuff -- that's what really interests me, excites me
and yes, as virginia n i feel, there are hundreds of weird, ridiculous people in this glam glam world...
why bother
let us not care much
maybe one day we will be just another stubborn yet "elegant" bitch,
but not today
today, we'd exercise our creativity and discover the bright sides of everything.
le vie e belle~

and funny how it seems...
after all these years..
i feel my journey has just begun.. the first round
while listening to david tao's "twenty-two", i can recollect the mood in 2002 autumn - when i was in taipei for a management trainee program. very free. strong passion for life n dreams and, very optimistic about the future... in other words, totally detached from the reality.
in retrospect, i am now able to see the beauty in my failures and mistakes in the early stage.
Blessed.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:49:36 GMT

hehe... featuring signature notebook from 'Beijing Land"

today i had a nice nice "business" lunch with Virginia
thanks for the great time, V.
it appeared that i did the counselling...
but indeed you were the one who lighted me up :-*

also.. the magic pass is "at work" ^0^ (available at HKD 60 in David Tao's concert)

and... the same 'journey" repeated in my dream....
my gut feeling is that perhaps i will never be able to find the place..
but.. why bother
the destination may not mean a thing in the search for possibilities...

believing.. seeing..
following..

"嘩啦啦啦啦啦.. 讓我去淋雨..

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 04:33:42 GMT

渾身是吉(物), 就是愛你陶吉吉

a long weekend. and a series of long long dreams
i love dreaming too much 'cause i don't know my self much
there in my dream i see myself clearly, with more honesty
am i bounded by too much fear

a little bit sad.
my two lovely colleagues resigned on the same cloudy thursday. finally.
so, soon i will be alone, just like when i first came to this company.
all of a sudden, the planned months ahead will not go like what i have expected
for sure there are the bright sides, but still
loneliness is the thing i hate most. ling the survivor, survives, but feeling blue, blue blue~~

* * * * * * * * *
friday - slept the whole day

* * * * * * * * *

Saturday - initial plan was to go hiking with may and her new church. because of raining, we ended up having HEA moments in a second-floor cafe where we watched the first episode Lord of the Rings again. my favourite. as I grew up a bit more, i had a different understanding of each line and scene.

sometimes in life, there is something more important than a matter of being wise or a fool
how wise enough can one be to make the wisest decision

in the evening, may, mit and i went to the Cattle Depot for the local band sound performance. not a good one. unsatisfied, mit mit and i settled in Ned Kelly's Last Stand, celebrating the enchanting Jazz night with beer and Bailey's. shown in the pic, the band performed "Amazing Grace" with a household teapot! Amazing!

* * * * * * * * *

Sunday - ended my long weakend with David Tao's 2008 concert. i wish i had a better heart that cares about the world and the people around me. i believe it's what a human heart meant to be for. not for self-pity/ meaningless relationships.

Love Can || 就是愛你