This is one of my longest non cutting stretches. I hate feeling so volatile. I hate feeling like my girlfriend is going to cheat on me every other second. I have no reason to believe that but my own insecurity.

Fuck.

Thinspo

Recover is the worst. I'm up to an unbelievable weight and as much as I hate to back track I need to. I don't want to be a bag of bones, I just want to see them again. Back on laxatives for now at least. It's hard because Marissa and I moves in together and she will suspect right away.

Any suggestions for getting back into the game quietly?

gah.

If I were a holiday I would be Valentines Day.

What would you be?