If you never take it seriously, then you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, then you always have fun......and if you ever get lonely you can just go to the record store and visit your friends.
converse_allstar23
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Name: Ashlee
Country: United States
State: Oklahoma
Metro: Tulsa
Birthday: 5/13/1984
Gender: Female


Occupation: Student
Industry: Mass Communication


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: justwalkaway182


Member Since: 10/17/2003

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Saturday, July 05, 2008

Hard Thinking...

I feel so hurt and betrayed right now. And I love the fact that the two people who I considered two of my closest friends... the ones who betrayed me... don't even seem to care that they hurt me. In fact, they're sticking to their story that they're completely innocent. They are going to keep lying to my face until I "get over it". I don't even know how to feel about this anymore.

HER: She's my sister... so obviously, I can't just cut her out of my life. But at the same time.. that doesn't just give her absolute forgiveness either. And she probably thinks it does. She probably thinks I'll be mad for a few days, then I'll come home and start telling her secrets, make some mac & cheese for us, then take her out to a movie.. NO. The main reason I'm absolutely sure these two are lying to me is because I could see it in her eyes. HE's a terrific lier... she's not. I've known her for almost 23 years, does she really think I can't read her like a book by now?

HIM: He's gonna turn this entire thing around me.. when I did aboslutely nothing wrong. I'm the victim here, dammit! It's not fair that he expects me to not be mad and actually believe his bullshit lies this time. He thinks that by letting me tour with him and not paying me.. he's doing me a favor. Yeah, I love working for him.. but I do way more for him than I think he realizes. But he's angry, and he's gonna try to make me feel like shit... as usual. He's gonna try to make me feel like I do nothing... and that he doesn't care about me at all. He's very prideful and would rather be right than continue being my friend.

This is a very weird situation I'm in. Do I just make myself get over it and save two friendships, my family, and my career? Or should I be selfish this time and stand up for myself even though I know they're both gonna make me feel even worse by doing so?


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

New Ludo tour!!

Anyone from any of these towns? You should definitely check this band out! I love them!


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Join the Ludo Ninja Street Team!

Love Ludo? Can't get Love Me Dead to stop playing on repeat in your head? Well they have plenty more catchy singles waiting for you. So help promote them and get further in their careers. Join the street team!



Wednesday, December 12, 2007

R.I.P. Bones

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I remember the day we first got Bones. When I went to work, we didn't have a dog... but when I came back there was an adorable basset hound puppy in our laundry room. When I saw him, he just looked up at me with his little puppy eyes, and I fell in love with him right there. I picked him up and carried him around the house with me. I even called my friend, Bob and told him all about my new puppy. I think the voicemail I left sounded something like, "He has little puppy paws, and cute puppy breath, and a puppy whimper... i think I'll call him PUPPY!!"

Years later, even though we named him Bones... I still called him PUPPY and he responded to it. I had a strong bond with him that no one else in the family had. Mom said when I came home, he would go crazy. He'd wag his tail so hard that his whole body would shake. And he couldn't wait until I came inside to pet him and kiss him. He didn't do that when anyone else but me came home though.

I've only cared about one other animal as much as I loved Bones, and that was the Basset we had throughout most of my childhood, Abby. That's why I was so upset when I got a text from Jessica that our dogs, Charlie and Bones were both dead.

Our dogs had a habit of running away a lot... but they always come back eventually. When I let them out at 5pm yesterday, they took a little bit longer than usual to come back. But, I figured it was because they'd been stuck in the house for so long because of all the ice lately. So, when Jessica got home, I told her to watch for them and I left for the Ludo concert. A few hours later, as I was singing and dancing during Treaty of Paris' set, Jessica sent me the text.

I immediately ran outside and called her. She was crying hard. She said that when Mom came home, Jessica and Mom went looking for them. They found them a few roads down from our house, dead on the side of the street. They'd both been hit by a car. I hung up the phone and started screaming. I told Jenna and Aaron what happened as I tried to hold it together. That didn't last long, however... and I started crying and ran to the bathroom. Jenna followed me and hugged me while I bawled on the bathroom floor of The King of Clubs.

I cried a lot through the rest of the night, but I stayed for the whole show. I love Ludo, and my dogs were already dead. So, I didn't think it would help to leave and cry by myself over the loss of my dogs AND having to miss Ludo too. I think I made the right decision. I watched Ludo from upstairs because I didn't really feel like being front row in front of a lot of people. I only cried a little bit during their set. And all of Ludo hugged me. Andrew held me together and gave me a hoodie. I love him. I stopped crying for the rest of the night because Ludo cheered me up.

When I got home, the dogs were in the garage since we couldn't bury them that night. I sat next to my baby, Bones and cried my heart out and said my goodbyes.

The hardest part is knowing that he's never gonna be here to greet me when I come home late at night. I miss him already. He was quite the character but I loved him.

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

For some reason, i had convinced myself that it was ok to get drunk all the time now that i don't have a car... i mean, i don't have to drive, so why NOT get drunk?

However, i still work everyday, and have even less extra cash (especially for alcohol.. which is NOT a necessity...).

Even though i realized the error in my thinking, i still want a car asap. I'm going stir crazy!



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