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cowonahill
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Name: Marina
Birthday: 2/11/1988
Interests: Latin dancing, singing in the shower, playing pool poorly, cooking, reading, hoola hooping.
Expertise: Napping, people-watching, laughing at myself and everybody else.
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/13/2002
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| A completely self-absorbed postI forgot how much I've changed since moving here, until I talked to a
friend from back home recently. That definitely reminded me of how odd
it is that I work out now, and use Canadian slang. And use a Mac. And
have a cat. And love Indian food. And am basically a completely
different person. This makes coming home for visits particularly
interesting, in that "I don't really fit in here anymore... or do I?
AGH, WHO AM I?!" sort of way.
Case in point: This
is how far I ran today. Seriously. I had never worked out regularly in
my life (growing up in the suburbs of the suburbs of San Jose doesn't
exactly raise you to appreciate a nice work-out, or a nice walk
outside, or a nice anything that doesn't involve a car) until a few
months ago, when I had a sudden burst of motivation
and decided to grab it before it disappeared again, like a nigga on
parole. And what do you know, 3 months later I'm running ALMOST FOUR
MILES without even realizing it. I think my endorphins took over my
brain for a good chunk of the evening after I came back. Which means I
am officially
hardcore, and also officially addicted to running.
Just thought I'd let you all know.
Oh, and I'm graduating uni in December. When did THAT happen?
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| Legalize ItHere is an outstanding article about how keeping drugs illegal is actually harming all of us in many, many different ways (the article is all 13 parts, not just the first one). If you have the time, please read it. It's a pretty long read, but it's well worth it.
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| I can't sleepI got a new student at work today. As always, my manager sat me down before the session to tell me a bit about the student's background:
His mom treats him like an idiot who can never do anything right. He's in 8th grade. He was recently diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin, even though he doesn't want to be on it, so at any given moment there's a chance he didn't take his medicine. He goes to a Catholic school. His grades have seriously been suffering, especially in science and math, not because he doesn't get the material, but because he is uninterested in his classes (especially math) and just doesn't want to do his work. My job, more than anything, is to help him plan out his week, help him organize his time, and help him get his assignments done.
This is a tad intimidating. He's younger than all my other students, I normally teach math, but not science, and... well, that's not the best background for a student to have.
My manager further reminds me, reassuringly or not, that the goal of the first session with a student is to establish rapport with the student. Make a connection, try to understand him, try to see where the disconnect is between him and his teachers/mother. Maybe try to explain one thing he was confused about before, but mostly get to know him. This proves to be a lot more difficult than it seems, because the kids come in shy and nervous, not really talking much, so it's up to you to make the conversation. It's forced and awkward for the first half - at least for me. Maybe some tutors are better at this than I am, I don't know. How do I talk to a kid like this? I have no clue.
Needless to say, when I finally meet this kid, I am pretty fucking nervous. In walks this little guy, black hair, a slight lisp. God, is that how small I was at 13? I try to ask lots of questions about his classes and whatnot to get him talking. He gives me one-word answers. I try to remember how I talked to my teachers when I was 13, and I can't. After about 15 minutes of strained conversation, he mentions that he has a project he has to do - a research project that can be about telescopes, cameras, or binoculars. I ask which one he wants to do it on, and he says binoculars, but I get the feeling that he really doesn't know anything about any of them, and just kinda picked one at random, duh whatever.
Shit. At this point I should mention I haven't taken a real science class in about 5 years. How DO binoculars work? Fuck if I know. I suggest we read through the passages in the book about telescopes and binoculars to start, more for my benefit than for his. I manage to get through that without looking like a complete idiot, mostly thanks to the fact that I read faster than he does. I feel like an imposter. Should I even be working this job if I don't even remember 8th grade science? Does he know I'm just making shit up as I go along? Does my boss know? Meanwhile, I see a section on the Hubble Space Telescope in the telescope section -- something I know a lot about because I took astronomy last term. He checks his assignment on the class website (at this point there is a brief exchange wherein I comment that when I was in 8th grade, we didn't have class websites. God, am I already at the "back in my day" stage of my life?), and sees that the Hubble Space Telescope is indeed one of the topics that he can do the project on.
So I start talking about how amazing this telescope is. Maybe if I can make telescopes seem interesting, he will actually want to do the project. I talk about how instead of being on the ground it actually orbits the earth outside of the earth's atmosphere, which allows us to get crystal clear images of galaxies that are all the way across the universe, 13 billion lightyears away. I explain what a lightyear is, and he asks if there are any galaxies close to ours, and I explain that even the closest galaxy is 2.5 million lightyears away, which means that the light we see coming from that galaxy left that galaxy 2.5 million years ago, and oh my god he's asking questions, he's actually wants to know more. He already knows a little about astronomy, which makes it a lot easier. He's saying "so if I light a match inside a nebula, will it explode?" So we begin working on the project together and he really seems to enjoy it, for whatever that's worth.
Thank god for that astronomy class. Lucky break this time, but what about next time, when the project will be on something I really know next to nothing about, like chemistry or something? So I go back to my boss's office and tell him I don't know if I'm the right tutor for this kid - I haven't taken a science class since 10th grade. And how do I deal with a kid who has a mom like that?
The first part is easy, my boss replies - brushing up on 8th grade science isn't the hardest thing in the world. I can look at the curriculum online and prep before our sessions.
The second part... well, he begins to tell me that the best thing I can do for him is try to make him see that he is not what his mom thinks he is. For example, say things like, "You know, I know your mom is always saying you can never get anything done on time, but look... you got your english done, and we finished this project on time. You get a lot done when we work together as a team, and that's really great! I'm really proud of you." That way when his mom is bitching at him later, he will hear my voice in his head saying that, and will either bring up these points to her or at least internalize them to himself. After all, my boss continues, his self-image and personality are still forming, and parents aren't the only thing that contribute to that - peers and mentors play a big part too. This job is often more of a mentoring role than a teaching one. Helping him build a confident self-image will be a hard thing to do, but it only takes one person who's on his side to make a huge difference.
So, you're saying that I'm basically helping form this kid's self-image. That's so scary.
He says, this job can be terrifying sometimes. Just try to understand him and accept him. He tells me about an article he will send me that talks about this, and about training I will receive in the next few weeks that will deal with this too.
We continue to talk for another 20 minutes about my other students. He stresses that I can come back for help anytime, and that doing so is an important tool to learn the craft of teaching. He says perfection is not expected in this line of work - there will be good and bad days. Those who think they are perfect won't last long in this business. My boss is the most helpful, supportive boss I've ever had.
Now, hours later, even though I realize that the session was a huge success in terms of building rapport, I'm lying in bed thinking about all the things I should've done differently or could've done better. I know I shouldn't overanalyze too much - it's just the first session -
and I do it anyway. My brain does this automatically whenever I get a
new student, but this time I can't turn it off: I told him how he should plan his week instead of helping him figure it out. I told him what to research rather than helping him do it. I got off topic quite a lot. I didn't give him details on what to do when he's working on the project without me. I talked too fast. Damnit.
Still, I know working with him will be a lot of fun in the end, especially after I brush up on my science. I absolutely love this job, I just really didn't expect it to be so emotionally overpowering at times. I haven't been doing it long enough to learn how to not bring my work home with me yet, so I obsess about my new students in my head, at least until I get comfortable with them after a few sessions. I know my main job is just to help him with time management and orgnization, but somehow it feels like so much more than that. Or maybe I'm overestimating my own importance. I have no idea. What do I know about this stuff?
So yeah. I can't sleep.
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| The bane of my existence: cereal and polesLast week, I bought really really cheap cereal. You know, the kind that costs $1.99 and comes in just a plastic bag? That stuff. I sorta knew it was a bad idea at the time, and probably bound to taste like cardboard, but I figured for $2, it was worth the risk. They looked like a shittier version of Cheerios... how bad could it be?
I had no idea.
The cereal turned out to be so unbelievably, astoundingly, deafeningly crunchy, that it actually hurt my ears when I was chewing it. It resonated in my skull. It vibrated my brain and jiggled my eyes. It devoured the farthest reaches of my soul. I actually had to let it soak in the milk for a few minutes before I could attempt to finish it.
Now the thought of the cereal actually frightens me a little bit. Considering the only time I consume cereal is when I'm half-asleep, still struggling to get the remaining crusties out of my eyes, it's a little bit too intimidating. I'd rather have a quiet, relaxing bagel. Or scrambled eggs, nice and soft. Or a small child slathered in soy sauce. Anything, really. Anything to avoid that horrible crunchy arch nemesis, just watching me from the cupboard and waiting to attack.
So beware. Evil comes in all shapes and sizes (and levels of crunchiness).
2 days ago, I had to wake up ridiculously early (around 8am) to finish
studying for a test. It was a snowy day, which threw me off because the
rest of the week had been sunny and warm. I was tired, out of it, and
cranky. And I had probably eaten some of that cereal earlier, I can't remember. I probably did. Either way, this preamble is meant to increase your sympathy for me and
hopefully stifle some of the upcoming laughter because the next thing
that happened was that, as I was getting on the bus, I walked into a
pole. And right after that, a blind man strolled by. Completely
nonchalant. Undeterred by the snow and the morningness and everything
else in his path. Bastard.
At the time, it made me feel better because my first thought was, "Hey,
at least I'm not blind. That makes me feel a little better about
myself." But, since telling this story to various people, their
reactions were something more like "HAHA, so the moral of the story is
that you can't even get through life as well as a blind man?"
IT WAS EARLY. :(
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