| It wasn't.
Wasn't amazing, wasn't spectacular, not fun,
or even a little o.k.
It was dreadful.
I will admit though, good things came out of it all. A long talk. Moonlight dance. Decisions. Realizations, mostly not for me.
And now after a week, I'm figureing some things out about my life. On my own. Seeing things in a different light. Noticing that I can still do things on my own...but they are definantly more worth while together. But still sometimes getting to the point where I just want to scream...yell SO loud everyone can hear. But he would never know that. Never know that deep down...Im so desperatly worried about it. Not all of it. Just...parts and pieces. I feel like God is calling me for one thing. But he doesn't think I can. I know God has called him to where he is today, even though there are times I hate it. Hate the long nights alone. Hate the days that he says are "just yours" but it turns into being not at all about me. I wish he knew how hard I try to please him. It seems its never enough. I'll never be them. I know, especially now after writing this, that we need to talk. I will. As soon as I get to see him, alone, for 2 min.
In other news:
I just got a call. I'll be at a new store next week. Sunday will be my last day at mine. I'm nervous.
It's like a new job all over again.
I'm worried ppl won't like me, or will think I do everything wrong.
We'll see.
I've been praying about this for a while.
I'm so, so excited.
Pray for me.
Goodnight
|
| |
| ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! :) I hope it will be amazing.
|
| |
| I refuse to let other ppl's lack of love ruin my life. Because. Frankly. I feel amazing. And I am SO loved right now. And I love so much at this moment in my life. Even when things get rough. I know they will. I will always remember the way I feel at this moment, and Ill know, Ill know this isn't something to take lightly. This...THIS...T-H-I-S...is it. Yeah I know I said it...IT. The thing that some ppl go their entire lives searching for. I've got it. And it feels dang good. :)
|
| |
| It was just an off week. The amazing-ness is back. Back in full force :) Its going to be a great week. I just know it.
|
| |
| Right when I think it's perfect. It still is. It's amazing. Sometimes I just wonder where all the sweat nothings, short notes, surprises, and doing things when he isn't asked....went. It ran away. Away somewhere with the new-ness of it all. Or maybe not. Maybe it's just an off week. |
| |
