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| i wish i did not have so many fears about college.
what if i don't get in? what if i totally bomb my ACT?
i hate that many of times i wish that i was someone different. i wish i had someone else's ability to think.
which i am always reminded that he who compares himself to others is a fool.
but i mean seriously, it is so hard not to.
its cool how today i said something about wishing that college was less money. and someone responded back with "get a scholarship." its not that easy for me. i wish. maybe i could have if i would have worked harder. i wish i would have taken school more seriously. but i didn't. and now i can try as hard as i can but its not going to make up for the time that i did not try hard. regrets are pointless but hard not to live with.
i am studying for my first midterm.
here goes nothing.
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| i hate you. seriously. i have so much anger right now.
you're this low? honest to god? seriously please?
my best friend? you are willing to go for my best effing friend?
i shouldn't even be amazed by this. i mean seriously. you've hurt so many girls it shouldn't come as a shock. ill kill you, i promise you i will kill if you you try doing anything to her and then hurting you. i am not even joking. i am so angry right now. i don't know what to do. i am so tempted to call or text you and let you know how much i hate you. i hate you so much. not because i am jealous and i want your attention but because i can't believe that i meant nothing at all to you. nothing. because if so, you wouldn't do this. someone that truly cared would not do this. but you've never been someone that has been sincere. never. and sorry that i ever gave you anytime of day. sorry that i liked you as long and as much as i did. if anyone was to ever ask if i regret that id have no doubts in answering yes. in the past i said i am glad i had what i did with you. but now i regret it soooo much.
I AM SO MAD. i don't know what to do. i am going to throw or break something. i overreact towards everything. i am so dramatic and i am so sorry that i am. can i say bad words and not be judge for that? i am sorry i know i need to watch my mouth and stop but i am so pissed at this little piece of shit who goes around destroying girls lives. i hate you.
please forgive me. ill regret this post later but for now it felt good to be able to get it out. only i am still fuming. i should sleep since tomorrow is class and i do have to get up early. | | |
| where all the decent, attractive, godly boys out? someone tell me?
i'm tired of thinking i'll settle for less because there will never be anything else out there.
but then sometimes i forget how young i am. | | |
| its weird that the people i felt closest to for long are the people i had to step away from tonight.
i am sitting at home alone right now choosing to be different.
i wish i could say i felt good for doing it.
when honestly i just feel hurt and left out. | | |
| where do i want to go to school? when do i want to go to school?
do i want to stay here at vu for a year or leave right away?
will someone please give me money so that won't be an issue?
thanks. | | |
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