| .06.14.04. - .08.29.05. good bye perry, good-bye
so everyone im single...starting senior year single...lol this is gonna be funny cause we all know whats gonna happen...happens everytime when i become single
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well it was a tough nite alrite and i only got 2 hrs of sleep i was dressed and ready for work at 6am and i wasnt suppose to wake up till 6:45am...well ive done a lot of thinking in the past couple hours and it finally hits me that iM SiNGLE! i was thinking about the past 14-ish months and it was a fun ride but i mean im 17, only the rare ones can find true love when their 17 and i mean yeah i loved him and i still do but i came to the realization that, the single life is good for me well at least for now cause me and perry both changed and took different paths in life and that im better off this way. he isnt really the kind of guy i need right now, he'll be good as a friend but not a boyfriend right now. My main concentration is school and college, my life is very uptight and schedulized and i constantly need to know what exactly im doing next while him, well i'll just say its the opposite. I'm not gonna go mopping around forever, evn tho it'll take me a while for me to get over this but i know i eventually will cause evn tho im weak rite now i know im still strong enuff to keep myself up, iunno part of me is happy evn tho im in so much pain. I know that my prince charming is out there somewhere and i'll find him, im 17 and i need to enjoy senior year, and i know he'll find someone better for himself and i'll smile when he does cause at least he's happy. The past weeks have been painful but i know something good will come out of it. also, i dont regret this relationship, i dont regret any of it cause it's no point goin on in life regretting things, everything serves their purpose right now i just needa find the purpose of everything that has happened
well i packed everything, well almost everything in my huge ass whyte EX box thats stored in my closet lol yeah i think i need another box hahaha its starting to overflow, you wonder why i keep everything instead of giving them back or buring them or selling them? i'll tell you why, evn tho its feel with so much pain but at the same time it's filled with the love and happiness i had once in my life that i shared with someone else. it's fun goin through that box from time to time and remember everything, the memories i shared, it'll be a while before i go through there and i know the first few times i go back through the box tears will fall from my face from the past, from the memories that were created with perry, the love, happiness, joy, confort, also pain, saddness, and agony but one day i will be able to go through that box but not cry, i'll smile cause at least i know what i had once was real.
Next time i see you, whenever that will be, i'll smile at you and i'll say 'hi' cause at least i know what we did share was real and that you ARE better off without me since im not the type of girl you need and you're not the type of guy i need for a relationship right now. I hope you the best of luck during senior year, wish you to the best of luck on your acceptance to the college of your dreams, and wish upon you to have a successful life, the life you long and dream for.
so in all of this enough tho im stressed, heartbroken, and pms-ing...i'll smile not to hide anything but at least i know we both will be better off as just friends, hopefully good friends.
but the one thing i will never forget and it'll kill me that you listened to your friends and even conformed in my friends for advice, while i go to my friends and rant but i listen to my heart |
cause it's NOT that EASSSSSSSSY! HMPH! so just leaveee meee beee!
not to mention the food sux lyke WOAH!