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| I feel reconnectedand I'm glad to be alive.
I'm glad you came into my life again, for a bit, and struck me where it mattered. I feel like I was a bit lost first semester, with the excuse that because I was a first-year, I could explore. I can explore, but that doesn't mean I have to drop everything I was either. Talking with you and other friends and reading old notes made me realize how much I've lost touch with what defined me: a free spirit, someone who held great love for and was aware of the world around her. I've forgotten certain things, certain bird calls and names of trees; they've escaped because I haven't had to use them, because I haven't hiked because I thought I didn't have time. I don't know the current legislation because I've been ignoring my e-mail up-dates for more time for other things.
I, who always believed in the little actions that coalesce into great things, had lost hope. Thank you so much for rooting me back to where I want to be. I think I finally have a right to call you my Good Friend now, and I hope this inspiration doesn't leave me. Thinking of you, of the questions you ask, of knowing that you care just as I care, and that once we cared about each other in more ways than one, gives me comfort, but I realize I can't depend on this safety and must find my own strength, too. I will.
I don't feel a need to tell you what I feel in so many words anymore, but I still felt a need to express this gratitude. Because with you, I feel welcomed. Thank you.
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| to threeone i think it's different now. i think anticipation sort of snuffled the reality of things - that really, we are inconvenient for each other, that really, you don't care. but still, i feel safe while lost with you and somehow at peace. i feel the world is pleasant when you laugh in your way that is completely you. i enjoy things more in your presence; i am enthusiastic and silly at times to an extreme. but i think this energy too makes me tired. we are too polite with each other. i wish you would explode at me, that you would be fickle, so i could have memories of your less than tactful times. too many people like you, and you're always distancing yourself improperly; i don't like that. and you are so civil it seems cold sometimes, but still it is admirable, the way you are unafraid, the way you are so darn logical, the way you ask questions with those eyes, the way you have me feel that my prejudices somehow influence yours without at all ceding your own opinions. i want to tell you my story, and how i think you have the most beautiful shoulders, but i think it's too late now and i'm just too stubborn and you're just too practical. * two i know you read this. i think you're probably going to check back and read on the possibility that i wrote, that i extended some fiber of my being. am i being incredibly arrogant? probably. i know how you feel. i know also that you don't know that i know how you feel, that you feel like you have to prove something, or have the courage to show me something. you don't. i know and i appreciate it in a way, but please don't dwell. it hurts you more than it hurts me, and i do want you to be happy and find what you are looking for - which probably doesn't live in me. chin up, confidence. thank you for the unnecessary hand-delivered mail, and for the silliness, and for your time. * three i love you because i don't know you, and it is beautiful. | | |
| "if you will it, it is no dream"-- motto, Branford College
I love how my residential college pride is settling in.
I am looking forward so much to college, to begin again with so many dreams. I am afraid, too, of being overwhelmed, of being only ordinary, lost amongst the brightness. I feel like there is so much I must catch up on.
Six days; I hope we make Jersey proud.
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| The Orange
By Wendy Cope
At lunchtime I bought a huge orange The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave— They got quarters and I had a half.
And that orange it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park This is peace and contentment. It's new.
The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all my jobs on my list And enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I'm glad I exist. | | |
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