Currently Listening Vitamin C [ENHANCED CD] By Vitamin C see related

you, you are the matter.

i had a hankering to write. well, not so much write as draw, compose, create. but it should be done in a more tangible way. a notebook, canvas, clay. who knows, i might just create another skin angel... or finish the one that's broken.

it's all because of this crazy beautiful weather outside. simply gorgeous.

hey friends that read this:

let's go ride bikes or pick flowers or climb trees or have picnics or play tag or read quietly or do cartwheels or go swimming or check out a flea market or conquer an obstacle course or sunbathe or braid each others' hair or fall deliciously into like or catnap for hours on end with the afternoon sun turning our visions a pulsating vermillion.

'twill be magnificent. go outside.

also, i notice i'm really into the -syndetons (ie poly- and a-), but this multiplicity (yay, mrs. seward) of feelings, so rushing and vibrant cannot be captured in a better way.

Currently Reading Lolita (Everyman's Library Classics) By Vladimir Nabokov see related

that water never did to land before

It was during the English final that I glimpsed this gem. I normally don't enjoy tests. I liked this one. Bolded are the sections I really like (Jessica is familiar with this form of editting).

Once by the Pacific // Robert Frost

The shattered water made a misty din.
Great waves looked over others coming in,
And thought of doing something to the shore
That water never did to land before.
The clouds were low and hairy in the skies,
Like locks blown forward in the gleam of eyes.
You could not tell, and yet it looked as if
The shore was lucky in being backed by cliff,
The cliff in being backed by continent;
It looked as if a night of dark intent
Was coming, and not only a night, an age.
Someone had better be prepared for rage.
There would be more than ocean-water broken
Before God's last Put out the Light was spoken.

So it appears I'm really fond of personification. It's just so...personal.

yeahyeah...like songs with female names in the title. Will and I talked about this. There's just this sort of attachment, some kinda stickiness that just smothers your chest cavity with feeling.

iono

hey there delilah what's it like in new york city?...times square can't shine as bright as you.

you fill up my senses like night in the forest, like the mountains in springtime, like a walk through the rain.

baby, ever since that day, i've tried to get back to the place where everything was right under the sun

you don't have to put on that red light. walk the streets for money, you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right

this is a day in a life as it happens, play by play, minute by minute.

Pants?!?

What sort of father wakes his only daughter up with frightful yelling and then follows the hellish screaming with a flurry of blows? What sort of parent, no not even that, what sort of guardian violently strikes his charge with such force as to induce a concussion-like headache? What sort of person, then beats another for wearing pants to bed -not even jeans, but comfortable cords- and then pushes about the mother of that person for "not taking care of such an abnormal child?" What sort of creature does that?

A fucking bastard, that's who. No wait, I take "fucking" back; the only action he has seen in the last couple of years has been with his own hand. Dearest Daddy, in one of his drunken stupors, felt compelled to describe in colorful wording and detail my mother's frigidity. Puahahaha. Serves him right.

Shieetttt. Normally I would just take it, but he had no right to push my mother around like that. So guess what I did. Yep, I tried to push him away, and started screaming like that crazy idiot he said I was. That landed me with this weird migrane that won't go away, but I feel so good. Stood up for myself in the face of insanity. Take that, Dad.

Currently Reading House of Leaves: The Remastered Full-Color Edition By Mark Z. Danielewski see related

I Still Have Tears in my Eyes

Right after church today, my father, with this huge grin on his face, asks me if I want to hear a story, and I, thinking its another of his spiels on the corruption of the American government, grudgingly assent.

"So there's this man, right. A Korean guy. He lives in California. A beautiful state California is. Anyway, he decides to take his family on vacation to ummm...I think it was Portland? Somewhere up north. And as they're driving there, they run into a terrible snowstorm, but since they're in the middle of nowhere, there's no shelter--nothing. Their car eventually stops, and the whole family is stuck inside for a good seven days. On the seventh day, the aforementioned Korean man, as the head of the family, tells his wife that he has to go out and find someone to help them or they will die. He leaves all bundled up and whatnot.

Two days later, on the ninth day that the family is trapped in the car, a team of rescue workers save the mother and children, and while they are extremely weak, they are rushed to a hospital and survive. The Korean woman questions the authorities concerning the whereabouts of her husband, but they claim that they hadn't found him. A couple hours later, the search team uncovers the frozen corpse of an Asian man, lying spread-eagled, completely naked. He is a good ten miles away from the immobile vehicle, but still, NAKED. Retracing their steps back to the car, the policemen discover various articles of clothing, methodically interspersed about a mile apart. The father has only his family in mind as he trudges along in agony. Finally, knowing he is about to die, he tries to use his own body as a marker, anything to lead others back to his family."

Isn't that so heart-wrenchingly beautiful? Isn't that story the very definition of family, the very essence of love? Even though the father's death ultimately contributed nothing to the salvation of his family, that -almost meaningless- sacrifice (over and over with each layer of warmth lost) is so poignant, so meaningFUL. What a man. What a dazzling specimen of humanity, of a husband, of a father.

They should make a movie about this.