Weblog

Monday, March 10, 2008

  • Activities
    Stepper 10 minutes 100
    Circuit training 15 minutes 100
    Yoga 40 minutes 100

    TIME

    FOOD

    CALORIES

    9:20AM

    1 slice of multi grain bread

    70

     

    1 tsp of peanut butter

    45

    10:30AM

    1 small coffee

    20

    12:00PM

    Dried cranberries

    130

     

    10 almonds

    70

    2:00PM

    2 pieces of whole wheat bread

    140

     

    Turkey slices

    60

     

    Mustard

    6

     

    Greek salad

    150

    6:00PM

    ½ apple

    50

    8:00PM

    Raisins

    160

    9:00PM

    ¼ cup of multi grain rice

    130

     

    10 shrimp + soy sauce

    56 + 60

     

    Broccoli florets

    30

     

    ½ cup of corn

    75

     

    3oz of ground beef

    200 (1452)


    Ack after a really bad week of not exercising I finally got back into it today. Better late than never I suppose but I took it very easy today. February was just a sucky month! I was stressing out over my job and finding a new job, I got really sick for a good week and a half and ever since then I lost the energy to work out. I was so weak and tired after my cold that I just didn't want to exercise.

    There were times I felt so angry at myself and felt myself falling back into my old attitudes of feeling like I couldn't do it and getting so discouraged of trying and then I would mess up and then I think that I failed and then I would try again and mess up again and think that I failed, it's such an endless cycle.

    I have to stop looking at it like I "messed up" and "failed" otherwise it just leads into more binging and more self-loathing for myself or even worse--not even caring that I'm over eating. They're just missteps, some days I do REALLY good and some days I do NOT SO good. The trick that I'm still trying to learn is to stop myself mid-binge or stop myself BEFORE I binge. That is going to be a life long goal but I know it'll be worth it in the end. Just take it day by day. I keep on repeating that to myself but I really have to take that advice to heart.

    I decided to make mini goals for myself each week for my diet and exercise. This week is simple:
    Exercise - at least 30 minutes of activity every day
    Diet - 1500/1600 calories a day

    Thanks so much ladies for all your wonderful comments in my last entry. This is why I love it, we can all relate, we're all in the same struggle. I feel like my friends don't understand my frustration when it comes to food. I have lots of active friends but when it comes to diet and nutrition I feel like I'm the only one of my friends who really cares. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

    Rebecca Romijn's new Bebe ads *gorgeous*


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

  • Hello ladies! I know I've come back after another short hiatus. After the last entry (Thursday) on Saturday, Sunday AND Monday I had birthday parties and dinners to go to which led to binging even though I tried to help it! I didn't try hard enough! However on Monday NIGHT I was struck with the flu bug that was going around my work and was pretty much bed ridden for the rest of the week. The only plus side was that I had lost all the weight that I gained from my 3 day binge since I was only consuming water, orange juice, cranberry juice and chicken broth. By Saturday I was feeling pretty much all right and my appetite had come back with a vengeance lol. So I'm basically at the weight I was before I got sick but BEFORE my weekend binge. Which is just fine. So now I wouldn't say I'm "back to the drawing board" because that just sounds negative. I'll just say I'm on my way again. Back to my goal of trying to write in here everyday - no matter what I eat.

    I've been trying to point out why I self sabotage myself with my eating. I got REALLY well for like a week or so and then I just go into auto-pilot and go on a binging spree. I try to blame it on other things like my family or the people I hang out with who like to go out to eat a lot or something like that but I've come to realize that they're not really saboteurs, just triggers. My family has really turned it around with trying to eat healthy and if I get into a fight with my mom there are other ways to deal with the anger. Every time I go eat with my friends there are ALWAYS delicious healthier alternatives in the restaurants we go to.

    A couple days ago my friend wanted to set me up with someone and when she described him (good looking, pre-med, well traveled, funny, good cook, etc, etc) I found myself thinking wow this guy sounds way too good for me! I don't deserve him. Really the last couple of guys I was with her real arrogant jerks, who were either womanizers or did not do well in school and had no jobs, but I thought they were just great for me 'cause I felt I didn't deserve any better. But I DO I'm just very scared of putting myself out there and thinking that I deserve good things for myself! I stay in jobs that I don't really like because I'm scared of allowing myself what I really want in case I fail at it I have no one to blame but myself.

    I've come to realize the same goes for my weight and my body image. As much as I (and we all) constantly talk about the fact that I want to lose weight, I self-sabotage myself and this morning I found the perfect article that describes how I feel:
    -----------------------

    Could it be that I'm afraid to lose the weight?

    During my session with Lacey at the gym this morning, she asked me about my eating habits and if I've been getting a handle on that end of the shape-up equation. I told her that I go really strong--all healthy, all the time--for a stretch and then inevitably, once every week or so, I cave and binge. My weight is holding steady, but these episodes remind me that I haven't fully gotten a grip on my instincts to medicate with food. "Part of you is afraid to lose the weight, to walk in a body that feels different than the one you're in today," Lacey said. "That's self-sabotage."

    If anyone were to tell me a year ago that there's a part of me that doesn't want to lose the weight, I'd call them crazy! After all, haven't I been professing for years that I'd be so much happier if I were thin? But today, as I stared at my wrists gripping the chest-press bar above me, I knew she was right. As much as I hate being overweight, I know what being overweight feels like and there's something very comfortable about staying this way. As one commenter on this blog [Lec210] posted the other day: "[Some days] I'm terrified of being 100% happy. If I'm not overweight, which has always been a part of my identity, then what am I? I can't wait to find out."

    Lec210-I can't wait to find out either!

    -------------------

    I'm sure a lot of you guys can relate to this. For the past 5 years I've had this cushion of weight around me and as much as I complain about it I find it very comfortable at the same time because I'm scared once I reach my goals how my life will be like. I've got myself into this life of mediocrity and as much as I hate it I don't put REAL effort to change it. These are things I need to work on for myself taking it step by step and day by day and constantly reminding myself that I DO deserve this and all of you out there with your own struggles with weight you DO deserve to be happy and healthy and lovely beauties!

    I know this is a pretty long rant. If you actually read through the entire thing then thank you! LOL I'll be back tomorrow with my regular food logs. I hope everyone is doing well!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

  • Activities
    Elliptical 30 minutes 370
    Bike 10 minutes 65
    435

    TIME

    FOOD

    CALORIES

    9:00AM

    1 cup of Optimum cereal

    200

     

    ½ cup of skim milk

    50

     

    12 grapes

    36

    11:00AM

    2 turkey bites

    100

    12:25PM

    1 baked red potato + olive oil + cheese

    130 + 80 + 30

     

    2 pieces of dark chocolate

    48

    1:00PM

    10 shrimp + soy sauce

    47+50

     

    1 cup of red pepper

    24

     

    1 cup of zucchini

    20

     

    ½ cup of corn

    75

    6:15PM

    12 shrimp + soy sauce

    56 + 70

     

    1 cup of red pepper

    24

     

    1 cup of broccoli

    55

     

    1 cup of zucchini

    20

     

    ½ cup of corn

    75

     

    ½ cup of beans

    120

     

    1 cup of green beans

    45

     

    1 tsp of flax seed

    25

     

    ½ cup of chicken noodle soup

    70

     

    tic tacs

    50

    8:50PM

    2 turkey bites

    100

    1600-435
    Total 1165

    Hello all! Work today was insane! I'm so tired. eugh. I just really don't want to be at my job anymore. I work at a bank and it's a fine job...but that's just it it's FINE and nothing more...it's not what I really want to do. I've been trying to find a new job but so far nothing has really come up. I'm going to try looking again this weekend if I have time but I don't know if I will. On Monday we have a bunch of auditors coming in to observe us to see if we're following correct procedures on things. Apparently they're not very nice and can be quite harsh on you and I'm suppposed to work ALL day on Monday, OF COURSE.

    I work all day tomorrow, most of Saturday and then I have my friend's birthday party at night. On Sunday my other friend wants me to go to a group dinner thing. The bank gave me a huge booklet full of terms, rules, regulations that the auditors are going to quiz us on and of course I know nothing. Greaaaaatttt lol. Sorry to sound so negative but next to my weight loss my job is the other main thing I want to change in my life. I just hope that if I keep looking that something will come up! I just have to keep trying and keep my fingers crossed!

    I'm watching the Food Network right now and that show "Unwrapped" is on. I love that show it's very interesting! Today they're profiling the hamburger and showing all these famous hamburger joints across America. Mmm very delicious lol the next time I have a "cheat" meal I'll get a hamburger hehe.

    Anyways I found this really cool article that I thought I'd share. These points may seem really simplistic but if you think about it a lot of our diet mistakes aren't very complicated to fix.

    25 Biggest Weight-Loss Mistakes
    By Julia Havey
    eDiets Contributor

    OK, you are reading this, so it is safe to assume you want to lose weight. I bet you are anxiously looking for tips "to do" and a diet to "go on," which are essential to successful weight loss, but those aren't the only things that you need to know.


    Why? Many women have spent an average of 20 years "dieting," so another safe assumption is that we know a lot about what to do right. However, little attention is usually given on what not to do. Apply this list of things NOT to do to your healthful regimen, and spare yourself many of the pitfalls that derail most dieters.

    1. Having a negative defeatist attitude. If you think there is no way that you are going to succeed this time, lose the weight and keep it off, then you will be right!

    2. Going on any diet that is NOT a manner of eating that you can adhere to for the rest of your life. Be careful when deciding what nutritional plan you want to follow, as it should be a manner of eating that matches your tastes, budget and lifestyle.

    3. Believing that you will eat cabbage soup -- or any other low-cal, monotonous fare everyday for the rest of your life. It isn't realistic to think you will eat that way for the entire time it takes to lose all the weight. It certainly won't teach you much about how to live healthfully for the long-term.

    4. Weighing in too frequently, letting the scale rule your mood and actions. Pack the scale up, put a big red bow around it, and unwrap it after six months of consistent healthful living. It might actually show you something you want to see!

    5. Not drinking enough water. Water is all that you need to drink, and you MUST drink at least 64 ounces of it a day!

    6. Drinking sugar-laden drinks -- including "fruit" drinks. Fruitopia is neither a fruit nor a Utopia! Try putting your favorite non-water beverage in your pet's bowl, and see if they will drink it.

    7. Consuming processed foods more often than fresh foods. Eating as close to natural is the best way to ensure that your body is as healthy as possible.

    8. Not having a plan. "We never plan to fail, we fail to plan." Get a plan and stick with it, but make sure each step is realistic and change is gradual!

    9. Not being aware of the nutritional benefits or detriments of what you consume. Lettuce is a great choice to eat, but spinach and other darker leaves have more nutritional benefit than the iceberg variety.

    10. Finishing every last bite of a meal, even after you are full. Mother was wrong! Don't clean your plate, let the dishwasher do that!

    11. Going back for seconds at meals. If you like it that much, have it as a leftover the next day! Too much of even a good thing is no longer a good thing!

    12. Skipping breakfast. Mother was right on this one. It is the most important meal of the day!

    13. Starving all day. When you finally get around to eating, it is usually something unhealthy, and it gets stored as energy later, rather than burned as energy now! You totally mess up your metabolism if you do this!

    14. Bingeing after "falling off the wagon," and waiting until tomorrow to get back on track. Admit now that you will stumble on this journey. Make it your goal to lengthen the amount of time between stumbles, and shorten the time it takes to get back on track.

    15. Thinking you are genetically destined to be fat. The only fat gene is the one left hanging in your closet after you lose your weight! You may be predisposed to a condition, but HOW you live determines how great its effect on your life will be!

    16. Treating "fat" as a personality trait. Fat is NOT a personality trait; it is a physical condition. Blond isn't a trait, either; it is a hair color! Do not allow yourself to be branded by ANY physical attribute or determent!

    17. Not living each day to the fullest… thinking that it will come when you are thinner. BE, DO and then you will HAVE! BE a healthier person, DO the things a healthier person DOES and soon, you will HAVE a healthier life!

    18. Thinking pills, powders or potions are more powerful than they really are for achieving weight loss. If those things really worked, no one would be overweight!

    19. Thinking of exercise as a chore instead of a way to improve your health and life. If today, you were in an accident, paralyzed and could never walk again, do you think you would long to be able to go for a walk? Exercise is a "GET TO", not a "HAVE TO." Push yourself; you will be amazed at how it feels!

    20. Indulging excessively in alcohol. Bottom line: When you drink, you suck down excess calories, alter your mind and let down your guard.

    21. Watching sports rather than participating in sports. Would it be more fun to watch the Super Bowl or be the MVP of the game? Sunday football is a tradition, but playing a game of it in your own front yard will provide memories that will last long after the season is over!

    22. Watching too much television. New rule: NO TV viewing unless you have walked for 30 minutes!

    23. Thinking that "dieting" sprees -- and not a total lifestyle change -- will garner lasting weight loss results. If you aren't changing your life, you aren't making lasting changes!

    24. Consuming fast foods on a regular basis. The fried, greasy and high-calorie fast food that dominates our society's eating habits today is the leading cause of the obesity epidemic that we now face.


    25. Waiting for tomorrow to "get started," rather than RIGHT NOW! Right now, there are thousands of members logged on to
    eDiets.com, in the chat rooms, on the support boards, watching online anytime meetings and waiting to lend their support. There are teams of nutritionists to help you understand basic, healthy human nutritional needs. There is hope, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    YOU can do this! Or, actually, I guess you can't do these things! Whatever, but you know what I mean, you are going to succeed this time, and the entire eDiets.com team is here to educate, motivate and inspire you to your dreams and goals!

    ----

    Keeping with the bikini theme this week (and apparently the Marissa Miller theme lol) pics from the VS 2008 bathing suit line:












    *sigh* I wanna go to the beach. Winter has dragged on far too long.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

  • YESTERDAY
    Activities
    Treadmill 5 minutes 40
    Elliptical 25 minutes 330
    370

    TIME

    FOOD

    CALORIES

    10:00AM

    1 cup of Optimum Slim cereal

    200

     

    25 blueberries

    25

     

    ½ cup of skim milk

    50

    1:30PM

    3oz of chicken breast

    150

     

    Balsamic vinaigrette

    55

     

    2 cups of spring mix salad

    30

     

    1 baked potato + olive oil + 1 tsp of omega 3 margarine

    100 + 80 + 35

     

    4 turkey bites

    200

     

    2 pieces of dark chocolate

    48

    5:00PM

    3 pieces of sour candy

    80

    6:45PM

    ¾ cup of rice porridge

    200

     

    1oz of chicken

    50

     

    Dried onions

    10

     

    1 potato with olive oil + omega 3 margarine + low fat cheese

    100+80+35+30

    1558-370
    Total 1188

    TODAY
    Activities
    Circuit Training 15 minutes 140
    Elliptical 25 minutes 330
    470

    TIME

    FOOD

    CALORIES

    9:00AM

    1 high slice of fibre

    100

     

    ½ tbsp of almond paste

    45

     

    ½ grapefruit w/Splenda

    52

     

    1 egg

    78

    11:45AM

    1 Red delicious apple

    102

     

    2 turkey bites

    100

    12:00PM

    2 pieces of dark chocolate

    48

    1:00PM

    10 shrimp + soy sauce

    45 + 50

     

    ½ cup of green beans

    23

     

    ½ cup of corn

    75

     

    ½ cup of wild rice

    260

    4:00PM

    10 almonds

    70

    7:11PM

    20 green grapes