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| Details later......but I have a date tomorrow with a very attractive, blue-eyed, British, military man tomorrow. Oh, and he's a fabulous kisser, and I can tell he's a romantic.
Do you think he knows what he got himself into?
Me neither.
Don't tell him.
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| It's My Birthday!I have survived another year. I battled zombies, rabid puppies, monsoons and killer bees, but I have made it to the ripe old age of 24 with not even a scratch. It's amazing, but true. This evening I will be pigging out on pizza, then heading to the bar to drink away my sorrows and tease some poor boy into submission, and then the Huntress will be reborn into the worst possible weapon of mass destruction... the kind looking for a committed relationship. Oh, yes. I will allow that seductive beast to come out and trick an over-sexually-charged man into a relationship, then tie him down (I'm not being figurative, here) and have my way with him. For life. Or, at least until kids come, and then we can do the routine "I'm too tired for sex" game until one of us has an affair with our secretary, accidentally knocks her up, then lets it slip one night when asking young Johnny to pass the salt because my cooking tastes like crap.
*sigh*
Ok, so I need to work on my attitude about relationships, but cynicism is fun. Also, I need to stick with my intended subject, which is my birthday.
I'm boogieing tonight, and will report fun stories tomorrow.
I promise.
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| DomesticationI have been wondering why I feel so much like settling down the past few months, and I think I have figured it out... kind of. Firstly, when my sister was sent to jail, we thought I would have to fight for custody. It no longer looks like I will need to do this, because she will be getting out in about two weeks. At the time I was also concerned about my unborn niece or nephew, that I might have also had to take on. Realizing that I could be a full time guardian of two children under the age of three in a matter of months made me rethink the single lifestyle. I know that's something I could do alone, but I have no desire to do it alone.
Couple that with the fact that I'm turning 24 in a few days, and when I was younger I decided that was a good age to think about settling down, well... it seems that I am almost officially done with flings and short term relationships.
But I will not officially be done with them until after my birthday on Wednesday. I have every intention of going out, letting the Huntress out for one last run, find some poor, unsuspecting guy to seduce on the dance floor, make out with him on the dance floor, and proceed to leave him on the dance floor.
That is my farewell to the flings, short-term relationships and commitment phobes. Ok, not the commitment phobes, I don't want to say good-bye to myself. I will strive to remain interesting as I stop doing the fling thing. Hopefully, I will have some entertaining stories to tell about how badly I fuck up real relationships. In fact, count on it.
I'm really good at fucking up.
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| The Same QuestionsI think I'm going to become one of those annoying girl bloggers who writes incessantly about relationships, dating, and her lack of sex-life. No, not even something as interesting as a lack of sex-life, but her lack of love-life. Oh, yes, my blogging site will be sinking to a new low. I hope you weren't too attached to the over-sexually-charged me, because it seems that I am now craving commitment, love (even though I'm not sure I know what that word means), settling down, and a family. I guess I'm growing up, but a part of me wishes that I could be satisfied with flings and short term relationships the way I used to be. Why am I so intrigued by the idea of permanence, now? I know it doesn't really exist; all marriages end. Some by divorce, and some by death, but they all end.
I guess I just want that "something more" I keep hearing about. I want someone to be there for me, like I would be for them -- like I have been for many of my ex-boyfriends and lovers. I want to be connected to someone in a way that is more than just physical. I want it all, but I have no idea how to get it. How do I put myself out there? Where am I going to meet someone who is like me? How do I communicate who I am, and learn who he is effectively? These questions, as trite and common as they are, plague me.
Anyone have answers or advice?
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| The Best AdviceThe best advice I have ever received about body image was from my mother when I was 10 years old. I remember we were talking about our quirks. She was born with a "dumb thumb," which is a thumb that has no middle knuckle. I was born with a heart defect that required surgery when I was two years old. Ironically, the reason I had a heart condition was because of her dumb thumb. For whatever reason, when a person has a defect on their right hand, their children are much more likely to have a heart condition. We were discussing the scar I had on my chest from the surgery, and I was wondering how anyone would be attracted to me with a huge scar right down the middle of my chest. She looked at me and told me that in her experience, people who loved her also loved her dumb thumb because it was one of the quirks that made her uniquely her and no one else.
I thought about it for a while, and decided that it made sense. Isn't that what we celebrate about ourselves and each other? Our differences? I value my closest friends because they have a completely different viewpoint from me, and I love working with people who are type A, because their sense of purpose and organization. It's about finding people and traits that are complementary, and it's the same with body image.
When I was diagnosed with Addison's Disease, my body went through some changes. I gained 10 lbs in 24 hours while trying to get my medications correct, and doing this is not only very uncomfortable, but it causes stretch marks. I had them all over my hips and thighs, and initially was horrified. I couldn't very well tell my body to not gain 10 lbs in 24 hours, considering that quitting my medication would kill me.
I had to make a decision about the way I viewed my stretch marks, and the water weight. I initially hated it, but decided that all of the stuff my body was going through -- that I was going through -- was the proof of my willingness to survive and thrive. I learned to love the water weight, the sloshing (pregnant women know what I'm talking about), the swollen ankles, and even the pink stretch marks, because they were my badge of courage. They were my battle scars, and I wore them proudly. I have never hid them in shame, just I have never shied away from low cut shirts, because I was embarrassed of my scar.
It certainly does not mean that I don't strive to have a healthy, toned body, but that is a part of my will to survive and thrive, as well. I want to be as healthy as possible, and regardless of what I may (or may not) look like I will love my body. I am proud of all of the quirks, and love them.
Now, are there any guys who are capable of doing the same? I think so, but they have to be sought out.
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True