cross my heart, hope to die, swear i wont say what happend that night.

i think i have some of the best friends anyone could ask for. but last night i feel like i let them down. i planned this party. but then at the last minute my mom said she had a bad feeling and wouldnt let me go. i fought with her about it. but in the end i gave up. i woke up the next morning to find out that my best friends were either arrested or in so much trouble i couldnt even talk to them. i shouldve been there to regulate and tell people to give me their keys. i shouldve been there to tell them not to drink if there driving. now im dealing with one of my best friends thinking about suicide because he cant deal with it. i love him so much, and we fight so much and i couldnt imagine anything without him. i dont know how to deal with this. i let them down.

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I miss kesti :(

ive never drank so much before in my life then in this past week.

all thanks to sievers and kesti

haha

its not like i think about you constantly. so maybe i do. but that shouldnt affect your life anymore. i knew it the moment you walked into the door. i let you get the best of me.

i had the feeling those looks you gave me were real....

thanks. tsc<3