yeah I haven't posted or read anyone's post in FOREVER> I have been so busy it's insane...this summer is going to just fly by. But yeah, work is going really well. I just had to gain my boss' trust and that took a while...now it's really good. I mean it's still work and all but I don't mind it.

 I have also had a lot of fun with my garden and seeing what is in it and planting other stuff....yeah it's a lot of fun.

 Well I think my pics are done downloading...I gotta run

I am NEVER having kids...well not for a while. I taught kindergarten sunday school this morning and then I babysat for communion tonight...I was ready to die before it was over....some of those kidsa re so out-of-control. I wanted to be somewhere quiet and normal...which is saying a lot becuase I can take a lot fromkdis but these kids were bad....But the other part of today was god because we had some people over from church to fix this guy's brakes...it was fun to just hang out.

 Our small group has turned out really good. We split becuase we were getting to big for the house we were meeting in. So DAve and I are leading and it is working out really well....the guy that is co-leading with us is an awesome guy...

So yeah....please pray for me because I am really struggling with my job....my boss is really hard to handle and about this time Sunday night I start getting depressed becuase the work week is starting and I don't want to live like that so I am trying to make the most of my days, each day, and it is getting hard for me....and you know yeah my boss is REALLY hard to handle but I am ultimately responsible for ym attitude and my response so I want to grow from the time working there...God has me there for a reason....God is good when I don't feel it and God is sufficient when I am weak and a mess up....He is whole when I feel like I have fallen to pieces...God is so much more than I could ever conceive and the cool thing about that is the fact that God is wo different from all that I know adn He is so much bigger than this box of my views and beliefs that it jsut blows me away....and God isso good but in a God good way not in the America "we have rights" way...He doesn't care about our rights...He cares about our growth and a lot of the time that really interferes with our so thought rights...it really consols me to know that my God is so different from me becuase when I hate the way I am I know that He is trying to make me into His image and that is very much not me....it excited me to think about what God could make me if I let Him....

On that note...I have a side note...Meet the Robinsons is a halarious movie...Dave liked it too!

God is good. He knows what I need and provides it. Sometimes he provides stuff I don't even need but just want. Dave and I co-lead a young adults Bible study and yesterday was our turn to lead. We are going through a book the contrasts Frued's views and Lewis' views on a lot of things. This week's was on love and the different takes they had. Needless to say I probably had the most to learn from the chapter and I was supposed to lead it. I realized the way that I am looking at and going about friendships here is all wrong. I am too focused on the fact that I need friends and looking at how they can meet my needs instead of how I can help otehr people and edify them as a friend. I need to stop looking at myself and then I won't be so insecure because I won't be focusing on myself to see all my flaws....I will be focusing on encouraging someone else. I was really convicted of that. Then because we live in the country when we lead we have it at a guy named Ryan's house....well Bible study got over around 9ish and Dave and I stayed and talked to him about a lot of stuff until 12:30ish. He REALLY opened up a lot about struggles he is going through and struggles he has overcome... I already knew he was a cool guy but that was confirmed. Now he just needs an awesome girl....but I won't get into that because relationships are better when they aren't forced. 

 Another wonderful thing God provided was wonderfullyy warm weather. It was been in the 70's! My boss keeps finding reasons for me to deliver stuff so I can get outside  She lets me take her SUV and deliver or take proofs to people for confirmation. She doesn't want to have to compensate me for gas so she lets me take her vehicle. 

 I need to call my family because they were trying to get a hold of me yesterday and I didn't get home till almost 1 and I figured they wouldn't appreciate the call then.

Dreams

Last night I ahd a really good dream but it left me sad when I woke up. I dremt that I was still in college and Karen and I were hanging out. It was nice. I was struggling last night with the fact that I am in between in the groups of people that I come into contact with. I am not able to do whatever whenever because I work so I am not like the college friends I have but on the other hand I am not so tied down like the ladies in my Sunday school class because I don't have any kids. I can't just call one of them up to do something because they would have to find a sitter or whatever....it isn't a very fun place to be. I end up calling people and leaving messages or just not calling. I think Dave is getting tired of me being frustrated about not having someone to connect with and he keeps telling me it takes time and a lot of initiative. I don't know. I find it really hard to open up to someone that I didn't feel comfortable with origionally. I can get over that because I did it with a past co-worker but I don't know. All in God's timing. He probably trying to teach me that He is all I need. I am so stubborn, I don't learn very fast or very easy. I have to learn from expirience..and sometimes a lot of expirience..which isn't always the best.

Today was fun. I went for a long walk with my husband and dog...now my dog is passed out on the floor because I had her in the back yard when I was painting. She loves this warmer weather....I do too! I also painted these two chairs that my mom bought for me from a thrift store. I was going to strip them down and revarnish them but I did that to an antique rocking chair and yeah it looks really good but it took FOREVER to do so I decided to antique white the chairs and now I am going to paint a fun something on them as well...so right now Dave doesn't have a chair to sit on at the table.  

My brothers are coming up next weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's the smell

 I am making Chocolate chip cookies and the whole downstairs smells like them. I love the smell of just baked cookies...almost as much as I like the taste. I need something to do becuase it's the last batch and I keep looking at them every 2 minutes so they will never get done....then I will take my psycho dog that is actually being good right now, for a walk.

 Does anyone else ever struggle with the bombardment of what this culture tells us is what we need to strive for and what will make you feel fulfilled and what the Bible says. I know they are very contrary but sometimes it is hard to convince yourself that what the world says will bring you joy is not what really will. You just get it thrown at you from so many directions that you feel like a wierdo or some well someone who doesn't know how to have a good time or someone who can't relate or soething like that. I know that people do respect you deep down for making the right choices but still it's hard and sometimes goes against everything that I want. Well I guess that means that God still has a lot of teaching in my life.

 by the way, before my cookies burn. I had a REALLY good day at work today. I'm starting to get into the swing of things.