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| today was pretty boring. i woke up at like 2:30PM & then around 3PM I got outta bed and showered. Damn thats how lazy I am. Haha i miss my boyfriend. anyways. yeah I had work at 4PM but i went in early because i bought springrollz and ate there. Anywho.... I just got off work at 11:15PM, wrote my man a letter and jumped on the internet. Yeah, thats how much of a life I have. Haha. oh well, nothing intresting happened. If there was I would write about it. Anyways, my love life is great. My life is coo. I just need to save up more. Since I kinda live on my own. Well i do live with my boyfriend but he is currently not here =(. Not gonna be here for awhile but its okay, when he comes back we are gonna get married. Isnt that a big suprise? And maybe move out of San Diego, that is if his probation lets him. Anyways. I'm gonna end this here.. Buh-Byes. | | |
| daymn, i look at all my past blogs and they are all stupid. haha i think i've grown out of everything and that xanga phase. ahahha but oh well. i miss my baby. countin' down friggin' six months, it sucks to sleep, eat and do everythin' without him. i miss him so much. i hope he calls me soon. but anyways i just woke up and i have work in an hour, i think im gonna go buy myself spring rollz. lol. but anyways.... i'm waitin' on my car and errythang so i can finally go visit my baby. shit man... i've been so bored of my ass but i keep myself company by going online and going to work so errythang will keeep me outta trouble. uh anyways i have to take a shower. p.s. i finally found who i've beeen lookin' for! the love of my life... haha! dude if u read my past blogs its so silly... looking for love, now that i'm in love, i hate guys hahaha. | | |
| deng dude, a lot of shit has happened sinced ive last bloged, but i dont have much patience as i use to, to blog. well everyone knows, ive met a guy name kue, and we've been together for quite a while now, almost 3 years, i finally have time to blog, i think im gonna blog again. i dont type as ghetto as i use to... i did graduate high school, barely even though i didnt even go to school. i look back on my xanga and was like, shit what happened to me. ive changed to much, i grew too, i learned so much as well. and i aint so stupid and so fond of things like how i use to be... its so weird now a days, i dont even have friends. i'm working 2 jobs my ass off.. i dont live with my parents ever since june of 2007. my parents are divorced... see what else... i've met a guy name kue, in 2005. and still we've been together through thick and thin, i love him hes like my best friend, even though we are one bad ass couple. we still are managing our futures slowly by slowly. its so serious sometimes it drives me nutz. i do know what i want in my life. dude, im so random, sometimez i donno if i make sense or not. oh well. i was looking back in my past blogs and was wondering what happened to everyone? am i the only one still dwelling on the past? haha oh well im moving one! buh bye past. haha hello to the new future. so many things to catch up with. well i miss my old best friend thao. i dont remember what happened, but what happened has happened and i guess its faith. new year is coming, i donno what im gonna do for the next 6 months probably work my ass off... okay ill blog tomorrow im gonna go to sleep.. bye.. | | |
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I HAVENT WRITTEN IN THIS FO' AWHILE BUT YEA I HAVENT WRITTIN IN SHIT PERIOD BUT HERE IS SOMETHIN' I MADE UP.. BUT YEA DONT HATE IF ITS BAD.
i try to keep whats real then just losin' my mind,
the intentions builds up and gets left behind.
trying to articulate these words all together
itz hard verbalizing it, seems like its gonna take forever
while my words are tryin to specify itself;
these emotions just express itself,
leaving a trail of emptiness through the heart
and releases the mind of one self
and gives ideas about life itself
my intrusive thoughts just refuses and blocks
all the memories that hurts within,
but it wants to come out and glide in.
infuses with deep thoughts
i gottta start this cuz its 10 o clock.
i go by the name of jen
i like to verberlize shit with pen
i got 2 sisters and a brother,
plus 2 bestfriends
and we annoy the shit out of one another
but the fun never ends
we see people puttin people through a lotta trouble
seein homies on these wrong obstacles.
theres a lot of pain in this universe
its like we are all caught up in a curse.
some dont know what to do cant take the pain and
do the wrongs people do
they turn to other things for help and getting drugged out
shedding tears that's all dugged out
a tear drop may seem meaningless but theres many meanings that you can list
like when a tear drops, its full with triple thoughts
we emphasize about many things, thats true
like why we do the things we do?
and hide everything we feel and try to keep it coo?
why do we feel the way we feel ?
and how meanings gots its own feelings?
portraying things we aint never seen and the
emotion that floods through, it leans on
the pain that built over it
i guess i just have to presume and take it as it is..
move on and say thats just the way life is... | | |
| Damn .. so many things happened this year I never thought would happen... people changed, I CHANGED. Friends come & go... those who remained ma friends are true. Done things with no regrets cuhz i mean I only got one life right? Mind as well live it to the fullest & try everything feel everythin'. Damn i learned so much.. so much to the point where i can leave this world tomorrow & be happy. Be happy i learned what I needed to learn & why errything happens fo' a reason.. who knows why but it was destined to happen. All i need to do now.. is find my S0UL MATE where are you... i know you're out there... as i live life patiently waitin' fo' "him" the soul that was with me in my past life & the life befo' and the life befo' & the future lives.. we'll be together... thats why its called "soul mate" cuhz we were together befo'..some of you might not believe it but i sure do... i don;t kno what i'm writtin about but itz jes the thoughts that are comin' out of ma head right now.. but have you ever feel so much that you don't know what your feelin' anymo? I don't know but .. i think thats how i feel? juz don't kno anymo' but understands why? why things really do happen fo' a reason.. and i understand it..does that make sense? I don't kno.. its not like anyone cares anyways. ahah i may be young... but trust me.. i kno... i kno how all 'em older heads be like.. na it aint even like that you dont kno.. trust me i do kno. hah itz cuhz i kicc it w/ ma grandparents a lot & they've taught me a lot.. i love 'em to def'. i dont need it.. but i do want the missin' piece of ma life.. & i hope one day we'll meet. though i kno... its like a chance of 1 out of a million... i hope one day our souls meet as one. hey a girl can believe right? i got faith in myself.
9:42PM I don't normally blog as much but since i've got things to clear out of my mind, mind as well blog. I don't use this as much as I use thatFEMALE but since i haven't been on this.. it deserves an entry right? As much as I do wanna continue usin' this account I hate the fcukin' username. Lol oh well. All my past has been on this shiit, mind as well continue with it. who cares. but fo' a start yo ass must be hellla hella bored readin' this. heh unless you want to kno mo' about me then I guess this is kinda a start? I don't really put out deep thoughts like this but I guess it's a start. I usually write in my journal i've been keepin' since last year but fo' the use of it i'll jus type it here on xanga. but don't get so excited, I AINT GON BE TOO PERSONAL up in this public site. Aha. well lemme elaberate on what i blog'd earlier. like i said, things changed and i'm startin to appreciate the littlest things a lot more better. You kno what they say, "What dont kill ya, makes you stronger". Well first off, i'm hella close to ma older sister.. & she moved to Washington with her husband & me and her would talk 'bout a lot of things.. and its kinda different now that she's not here. Knowin the fact that she cant be here with me to mess with. Lol na but then she was there fo' me w/ errythang. I really do miss her , lol um i fergot what I was gon; say but then yea I can't explain right now.. but I kno she'll be baq . But goin' on w/ ma subject.. me & ma lil sister.. arent really that close. I mean yea.. we are sometimes.. sometimez its a bitch.. but that's how sisters are right? but one thing that i can't do is open up to her like i do w/ ma older sister.. it feelz so ewwy like its not ment to tell her things. Lol I don't kno why? Even tho how hard I try.. it juz feels weird! but its all good cuhz we got eachother's bacc when somethin'z up. I kno she'll be there fo' me when I need her & of course imma be there fo' her. common now we're blood sisters lol. i love ma sisters to def' though. I don;t see the point in what i just wrote but ohkay jus the in the thought? Ahah i don't kno wasup w/ ma family right now.. errythin's coo one min.. next thing it ain't.. i aint happy bout the way things are but i learned to understand it & live w/ it cuhz it does happen fo' a reason.. jus a min ago i was mad at the world .. then while it went through ma head.. i started to understand.. and think positive bout things. compare it to other people.. (not in a bad way or anything) but like there are worst things out there yenno.. but then there are timez.. when you're so mad.. you start to cry.. i don't kno why itz like that but then in the end of the day.. i kno errythin's gon be okay & even if it aint then its still all good cuhz what happened happened & you cant change that.. it jes made you stronger & you learn from it.. i'm gonna have to stop now or i'mma end up writting a whole book. but yea what quotes keeps me goin.. "live life with no regrets" & "things happen fo' a reason" even if you don't kno why.. you'll get it later on. i tend to say those quotes a lot.. but yea i believe its true.. cuhz god/budda.. whoever made us.. made us not to be happy.. but to make mistakes , learn from them & smile 'bout it. okay.. i really need to stop. | | |
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