Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Saturday, August 02, 2008

  • Slowly killing me....=(

    Yesterday was the most dreaded day in my life. I took the NCLEX. I got 17 "Select all the apply" (SATA) questions, tons of medications, 2 med calculations, drag/drop question, and LOTS of priority questions, lots of infection control, and no delegation. I believe a lot of them were higher level questions, if i base it from Kaplan review how they said it was. The computer shut off at 75 questions as oppose to doing the whole 265 questions. I was glad that the computer stopped at 75 questions after 2 hours because I could've not handled it anymore. I'm guessing since it stopped at 75, I could have done really really good or horribly failed it miserably. I was confident when i walked into the exam room, trying to calm myself because I did prepare for this exam. I thought I am prepared BUT this exam does surprise you in a different level. Some people who took the NCLEX, they all told me how "extremely hard" this exam is or "how the questions are so mysterious". I told myself, "how hard could it be, if you studied your butt off, nothing could be that bad". But I was so wrong. No one can really understand this emotion unless you're in the same shoe. I feel completely in a blur after the exam. As soon as I walked down to the parking lot my tears started falling, I couldn't stop crying....I almost got into accident driving home cuz I couldn't stop crying.  I am so frustrated. That's the HARDEST exam I've ever taken in my life! Seriously, nothing you could compare to any school exam or anything you could study off the review books. Nothing in all the stuff that i studied can you compare on the test. I'm so anxious, scared, and feeling really miserable right now. I'm trying to relax because there's nothing I can do right now but wait for the result. But I'm so uneasy and no matter what I do in the corner of my mind, I still think about the exam and how I did. This is slowly killing me. What are the chances that I can pass when I got like 17 SATA questions??!!!! I just want to know if I passed or not, right here right now. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The wait in California for the results takes like 2 business days. That means I cannot find out mine until monday. Some people even wait for 4 weeks cuz it depends on the BRN (Board of Registered Nursing) when they process it or post it online or not. Oh God, nooo...I cannot take this anymore.

    Please please pray for me that I pass....I never ever want to take this exam ever again... Such an emotional torture..

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

  • Break time

    As of today, I've answered a total of 4,500 questions! I still feel like I need to answer more and more and more...The more questions I practice, the better right? I've finished Kaplan online complete review course, and NCSBN learning extension review course. Now I'm going over the Saunders and Lippincotts review books. I'm so tired of studying 9-10 hours a day, every freaking day. I feel that I've done everything that I have to. When I go to the exam room and take the exam, it's beyond my control. Oh God help me. ....There are so many things that I have to learn and there still LOTS of them to grasp; And most of the incorrect answers I got in the QBank I still get wrong after so many times I repeat to answer them. Arrgghh... Sometimes I just feel like listening to this song....i just feel sorry for myself all day long, all day long.......

    Sorry for myself
    (Jann Arden)

    I’ve been on my hands and knees
    crawling towards eternity
    looking for the piece of me that always got away
    and i’ve been so afraid to stand my ground
    so i simply shut my mouth
    close my eyes, bite my lip
    and swallow every tear

    i can’t do anything
    i don’t believe in anyone
    i just feel sorry for myself all day long
    all day long

    look inside my body baby
    see the twists and turns inside me
    every blinding curve that drives you right around the bend
    i know you’ve had it up to there with all my chaos and confusion
    i am living a delusion and i do not give a damn

    i can’t do anything
    i don’t need anybody else
    i just feel sorry for myself
    for myself
    for myself
    for myself

    look into my heart and tell me i am a complete disaster
    wasn’t that what you were after
    always thought it was
    wasn’t i complete desire
    filthy ash without the fire
    you could not have been much higher without some kind of drug

    i can’t do anything
    i don’t believe in anyone
    i just feel sorry for myself…for myself
    i can’t do anything
    i don’t need anybody else
    i just feel sorry for myself
    all day long
    i can’t do anything
    i don’t believe in anyone
    i just feel sorry for myself…for myself
    i can’t do anything
    i don’t need anybody else
    i just feel sorry for myself
    -------//
    I can't wait to get over this exam and get out of this shell. Been studying for 2 months and I am ready to fight the beast!!!!!!!

    For now I'll leave you with this song, my version of Delta Goodrem's Fragile.

    I can't wait to enjoy life again....

    Soon! I hope and pray.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

  • It'll be over soon...

    I've been studying 24/7 for the NCLEX exam.............

    I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally drained out. I got through nursing school, but let me tell you that I have never studied like this crazy in my entire life. I'm really giving it all, all i can. I just hope and pray that all my hardwork will pay off once I take that exam.

    Somehow I feel that I'm ready. Maybe this is this gut feeling that a person feels deep inside saying "ok you're ready to take it". Oh God, I'm so sick of studying and this thing has given me so much stress already. I am ready to get over it!!! There are nights I can't even sleep, tossing and turning, getting so anxious about the exam. I even dream about studying and answering exam questions. I'm probably just being so stupidly paranoid about it! But day by day I try to fight this feeling, and I know that I have to believe in myself that I can do it! I won't be defeated by this stupid exam! Ugh, I feel i'm getting sick staying up studying late at night. I study my ass off 8-10 hours a day since May 27th after grad. Nonstop.  Ahhhh......this is so draining me out, but i know this is the last hurdle that I have to overcome. I have to keep faith in myself and stop worrying...It will be over soon. Hopefully the next time I blog will be all good news.

    As the quote from the Kaplan book says, "Everyday in every way I am getting better and better".

    Please please pray for me and wish me luck!!!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

  • a very peculiar and spontaneous day

    Earlier today I decided to take my mom and sis to this Filipino restaurant at Union City (Union Landing) called "Gerry's Grill". I wanted to take them there cuz it's actually a very decent dine-in Filipino restaurant aside from "Goldilocks" or "Jollibee" fast food kinda thing. When we got there though, they are CLOSED! Okay so I looked at their schedule, and on mondays they open at 10-2pm and they don't open again til 5:30pm! What the heck is that? That means they're not open from 2-5:30? I've never seen any place like that before. I drove 40 minutes for nothing. Hmp minus points for Gerry's Grill!  

    But then, I remembered Texas Roadhouse in the same plaza. I thought of going there instead, it's another favorite of mine. But what the heck, they are CLOSED too! Are you freakin' kidding me now? I guess a lot of restaurants are closed on mondays since it isn't busy on mondays?

    So we ended up going to TGI Fridays instead since we're really starving. I love Fridays anyway. It's also one of my favorites. Anyway when we're about to order, the server said that we cannot order any drink aside from water because their soda machine just broke. No Coke, no lemonade, no iced tea! This is just a really peculiar day! 2 of the restaurants we wanted to eat at were closed, and now the soda machine.....why oh why...

    WinchesterMysteryHouse004
    but at least my Blacked Chicken Alfredo was good...

    WinchesterMysteryHouse002
    ..and so does this chicken and ribs platter! yum!!!

    After the late lunch, we decided to watch a movie. There's really nothing though that we wanted to see, since we saw most of the films shown recently. I've seen Wall-E last night and it was great, very entertaining, and cute I must say.

    walle_galleryteaser3a
    This movie sends out a lot of messages about caring for the environment and that too much technology could be very bad for us. Anyway, getting side-tracked there, so we didn't really wanna see "Wanted" and I'm not a fan of Angelina Jolie and nope I don't even wanna give her a chance... 

    WinchesterMysteryHouse007

    WinchesterMysteryHouse008

    After the Union City adventure, my sister didn't wanna go home yet. It was past 5 o'clock already and she wanted to go to San Francisco, but it's already too late. She suggested that she wants to go to Winchester's Mystery House since she and mommy haven't been there before.

    The day was very spontaneous, so we went back to San Jose to go to Winchester's afterwards. (And yes I've been there last year..)

    WinchesterMysteryHouse053
    upon entering the guided tours, this caught my attention...LOL do you want "fresh POPOcorn"???

    WinchesterMysteryHouse014
    waiting for our turn to tour inside the mystery house

    WinchesterMysteryHouse015
    my nanay

    WinchesterMysteryHouse032
    we're about to go to the 65-minute tour inside the mansion

    WinchesterMysteryHouse034
    One of the rooms inside the mansion..This is the only shot that actually wasn't blurry. It was really a creepy house. Sara Winchester was a really weird lady. Here's the background history of the house, it's really interesting.

    WinchesterMysteryHouse003

    WinchesterMysteryHouse045

    WinchesterMysteryHouse044

    WinchesterMysteryHouse043

    A very strange day but it was fun just hanging out with my mom and sis. I needed this day out to take a break from studying, which is getting soooo frustrating right now. Answering those practice questions makes my head spin. It's like a mind-game actually. It's the way you understand and approach the question, not really on how much you know about the content. Gahd!!!!!!!!!

    Haaay...yeah i really needed that day out.
    ---------------//
    Audit Room Language

    Mike emailed this to me couple of days ago, since most of you know, he's an auditor. Here's what's going on in the audit room...and I think they're pretty interesting, hehe... Could actually apply/be true to most of us. Read on...

    Dear Team :

    It has been brought to our attention that some individuals on the team have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

    We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately communicate your feelings. Therefore, a list of 18 new and innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided to facilitate proper exchange of ideas in an effective manner.

    Number 1
    TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
    INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

    Number 2
    TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
    INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

    Number 3
    TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
    INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

    Number 4
    TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
    INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

    Number 5
    TRY SAYING: Really?
    INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

    Number 6
    TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
    INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

    Number 7
    TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
    INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

    Number 8
    TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
    INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

    Number 9
    TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
    INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

    Number 10
    TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
    INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn 't you tell me sooner?

    Number 11
    TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
    INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

    Number 12
    TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
    INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

    Number 13
    TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
    INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

    Number 14
    TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
    INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

    Number 15
    TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
    INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

    Number 16
    TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
    INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

    Number 17
    TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
    INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

    Number 18
    TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
    INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

    LOL! I like 6, 8, 16!  

    --------------//
    Oh my I'm so happy that I found this song. One of my favorites when I was in grade 4 or 5 probably. I love this song! I wonder where Lisa Keith is now.

    Better than you
    (Lisa Keith)


    Mmm
    Hey baby
    It's you I truly adore
    I finally found the
    Peace of never wanting more
    Singin' a sweet song of
    Who and where I belong
    I see a vision of a love
    That's more than strong
    I feel so fine, truly divine
    My dream has
    Come to life, hey yeah
    You're always there
    On my mind

    'Cause when I need two arms
    That can hold me tight
    A tender loving kiss
    That can make it right
    Someone to chase the
    Darkness into the light
    I know it's true
    Baby, there's none
    Better than you

    'Cause my love is true, ooh

    Oh my dear I can't say
    The way that I feel
    You're more than words
    You're more than
    Pictures can reveal

    --------------//
    [edit] I didn't really wanna create a single entry just for this...

    I studied continuously today for 10 hours from 1-11pm!!!


    Thank God I finally finished this whole friggin' book!!!!!!!!!!

    Now I can totally concentrate answering practice questions.

    How exciting is that.

    Ugh I'm tired exhausted....

    Looking forward for tomorrow's routine....wake-up-shower-eat-study-study-study-break-dinner-study-study-break-sleep

    Whaaaaaaaaaaa...I can't wait til I'm done with this thing..done studying FOREVER.

    Oh okay...time to get some rest..

    Nyte!

Friday, June 27, 2008

  • random

    - To date, I have answered at least 1,210 questions in the Kaplan QBank. My instructor said last semester that to be able to pass the boards, you must've answered 3,000 questions. Okay, I'm getting there!!!

    - I forgot to greet my blog a "happy 3 years"..thanks for sharing my thoughts with me, for being an outlet to all my feelings, room to vent out my emotions, etc.. I have always had some kind of diary or journal since I was little. I can't imagine not having to express myself through writing, well other than singing.

    - I got a flat tire the other day. It sucks when that happens...when you're on your way to some place and then "boom" you get a flat tire!

    - I'm loving these songs right now...

    Lucky
    (Jason Mraz, feat. Colbie Caillat)
     

    Do you hear me,
    I'm talking to you
    Across the water across the deep blue ocean
    Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
    Boy I hear you in my dreams
    I hear your whisper across the sea
    I keep you with me in my heart
    You make it easier when life gets hard

    I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
    Lucky to have been where I have been
    Lucky to be coming home again
    Oooohhhh oohhhhohh ooohhooohh ooohoooh

    They don't know how long it takes
    Waiting for a love like this
    Every time we say goodbye
    I wish we had one more kiss
    I wait for you I promise you, I will

    I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
    Lucky to have been where I have been
    Lucky to be coming home again
    I'm lucky we're in love every way
    Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
    Lucky to be coming home someday

    And so I'm sailing through the sea
    To an island where we'll meet
    You'll hear the music, fell the air
    I put a flower in your hair
    And though the breeze is through trees ???
    Move so pretty you're all I see
    Let the world keep spinning round
    You hold me right here right now

    I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
    Lucky to have been where I have been
    Lucky to be coming home again
    I'm lucky we're in love every way
    Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
    Lucky to be coming home someday

    Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
    Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh


    City
    (Sara Bareilles)

    There's a harvest each saturday night
    At the bars filled with perfume and hitching a ride
    A place you can stand for one night and get gone
    It's clear this conversation ain't' doing a thing
    Cause these boys only listen to me when i sing
    And i don't feel like singing tonight
    All the same songs

    Here in these deep city lights
    Girl could get lost tonight
    I'm finding every reason to be gone
    Nothing here to hold on to
    Could i hold you?

    The situation's always the same
    You got your wolves in their clothes whispering Hollywood's name
    Stealing gold from the silver they see
    But it's not me

    Here in these deep city lights
    Girl could get lost tonight
    I'm finding every reason to be gone
    There's nothing here to hold on to
    Could i hold you?

    Calling out somebody save me i feel like i'm fading away
    Am i gone?
    Calling out somebody save me i feel like i'm fading

    In these deep city lights
    Girl could get lost tonight
    I'm finding every reason to be gone
    There's nothing here to hold on to
    Could i hold on to you?

    - I saw this the other day in the yahoo headline. What do you think of "rotating skyscrapers"??? Hmm...I don't know. It's gonna look so fragile, kind of accident-prone, if ever. Look at where technology takes us nowadays. I think it's unnecessary.
     
    ----//

    - Saw "Get Smart" and yup it's really funny! Anne Hathaway is really gorgeous in this movie. It's cool how Steve Carell can keep a straight/serious face while saying jokes.

    - I really like my new layout. Isn't it cute? I love pink.

    - And here's my version of Colbie Caillat 's Realize (acoustic version).

    Nyte!

  • Visit d1aN3_g's Xanga Site
    • Name: Diane
    • Country: United States
    • State: California
    • Metro: San Jose
    • Birthday: 3/2/1983
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 6/5/2005
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About Me

  • Twenty-five. Piscean. Music lover. Singing is passion. Songwriter. BSN Nursing graduate. Romantic. Melancholic. Writes poetries. Trusting. Loving. Caring. Sweet-tooth. Coffee-addict. Hates getting up early. Hates Math. Loves 80s music. A sucker for sappy love stories & love songs. Likes scary movies. Easy to please. Loves to cook. Emotional. Nostalgic. Loves cute little babies. Totally organized. Creative. Artistic. Computer savvy. Daydreamer. Sentimental.

Chatboard (13)

  • BTW, I don't know if you already have these, but something might interest you:http://vayie-please.blogspot.com/2008/07/emote-mode-tayo.html
  • Hmm. Someone's been busy.
  • I already sent you your mp3 requests at you Xanga inbox. I hope you got it. =)
  • Hello, Diane. Wala lang, just dropping by, checking if you have a new entry. :)
  • hey girl..
  • Happy Fathers' Day to your Dad, Diane! :)
  • Someone's been busy...not much updates huh? Hope yer okay. Anyways:Tagging you: http://vayie-please.blogspot.com/2008/06/bummed-out.html (You'll enjoy it!)Need your comment input on this one: http://vayie-please.blogspot.com/2008/06/when-it-stinks.html Thanks!!!
  • Thanks for dropping by Romel! Hope you enjoy listening to the songs! See you on the big day! =)
    • Posted 5/2/2008 2:33 PM
    • by d1aN3_g
  • just dropping by ya. yes i got your invite. i think im going to tag along with Ateh Obing and Jeff.. right now im listening to your songs, its nice. im still your biggest fan :)
    • Posted 5/1/2008 9:42 PM
    • by L3r0m
  • thanks Diane.. hope everything's a-ok there...
  • hello again!
    • Posted 5/6/2006 8:56 PM
    • by d1aN3_g
  • Woohoo you're my friend! haha
  • Hey, this is my world. Thanks for dropping by. Don't forget to leave a message when you can. It'll surely brighten up my day! =) Thanks.
    • Posted 3/23/2006 10:41 PM
    • by d1aN3_g

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