| it's been soo long.so much as happened since my last blog.
well part was due to the fact that i kinda forgot my password. haha
secondly, having a job and working 8 to 5 the whole weekend.
lets recap.
i saved up enough money to buy a camera. plus other things.
started doing photography.
www.myspace.com/thatdorkdennis
you can check them out there.
the quality sucks because when you upload them only myspace it just craps all over it! blah.
started my own dance company here in sacramento.
called it, "THAT ONE COMPANY"
i think it's different. and it's totally me.
i wanna build a dance community here in sacramento.
there's plenty of dance teams here but apparently they dont do anything with one another.
kinda weird.
but yeah. Gotta work on making relations with them.
Right now my company is the only company offering hip hop classes.
AND IT'S ONLY $5 bucks!
that's like a subway! well it's 5.33 haha.
but yeah! the cheapest class ever!!!!!
www.myspace.com/thatonecompany
there's a video up of our performance.
although it's new we've been getting good reviews and performances popping up all over.
we also are entered in sacramento's best dance crew.
we're competing to go to the finals this thurdsday! at club 21 in downtown!
SO COME OUT!!!
it's exciting!!
gas prices are a bitch. ahhhh.
just working and paying bills.
finally paying back my students loan.
then gotta fix my car. she's sick. i drive her too much!
up and down california.
i perfer to fly now.
it's just easy.
i also met the newbies for modern this year. hehe that was fun!
i love them all. just wish i can spend more time!!
and so proud of the mtv crew for doing what they are doing.
always traveling doing shows.
i miss you guys.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i wanna work on my photography. people say im doing well.
haha seeing how i never took a photography class.
hahaha i dont know. i just see something and i shoot it.
and hope it comes out the way i see it in my head.
maybe if i get REAL good. i can move back down to LA and be a fashion photographer!
im getting old for dance. or my body cant take all the twists and turns. haha
IM OLD! AND FAT! hahaha
but whatever.
so that's all. for now.
i hardly go on here.
i just blog on my myspace now.
xanga reminds me too much of my younger stupid ignorant self.
i kinda don't want to be that person anymore.
i want to change and be better.
and xanga reminds me of those times in my life when i was a hot mess.
so yeah. but i will always keep that banner up.
i love my boobies.
kaba modern class of 2005.
_deNnis_
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| i'd want to as well.i miss you modern.
but what i miss the most our the random music videos that i would drag some of you into making. haha random yet retarded and fullfilling.
*sigh. as much as I am working to pay off my bills. I am working on getting a camera. one of those expensive slr ones. i guess i'm finally kinda starting to set into what i really want to do, film. Photography to me is like a teaser for a movie. It's what captures the audiences attention and makes them want to see the movie.
A photo should be intriguing, it should lure someone. And i know the music videos that we made were soo corny and so novice style but yet still creative. I really want to get back into it. I recently saw a video from wong fu productions. I've seen their videos before but this time it was different. I've seen how they've improved from the last videos that i've seen. I was inspired to actually do what i want to do. I hear all the time how many dancers are inspired by modern and im proud of modern for all their success even though im hella missing out. but it's okay. Apart of me feels like my dancing life is coming to an end.
im stuck in this twilight zone on transitioning and i feel like ultimately i want to be in the film area. I know that has always been my passion since i first played with my dads camcorder. Never really believe that people would watch what i would create. I guess i've always been hard on myself in everything i do. Lately i've been soo discouraged to dance. I feel like im not good enough. never good enough. My choreo sucks ass. and i know it takes time and training. but for every realization of how sucky i am i sink lower. I hate how easily i give up on myself. But i know i can deliver. it's just the justification of my work that gets me. I hate having to prove myself. I guess i dont work good under pressure. pressure to get the task of actually presenting my art. But yeah, it's amazing what wong fu does. and im soo inspired right now. I wanna grab a camera and just go and make some retarded movie. all on my own. haha what a loser.
but my harsh reality is that it's not that easy. like before and still now. i have to be focused on other things other than the things i wanna do. whether it be dance or film or music or whatever. I have to put my passions aside and work to maintain an okay lifestyle. ahhhhhhhhh call it whining if you'd like. but damn. *sigh. I'd like to get things started.
but all in all, inspiration comes from everywhere. im inspired by the success of wong fu productions and all their glory and sadden that I'm not capable of doing what they can do, doing what they love to do. but i shall press on and fight this struggle to be able to do what i wanna do in life. so that i, too, can succeed.
_deNNis_
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| not sure.not sure what to do with my life anymore.
not sure where i want to go.
which path to take.
i was so sure of what i wanted to do.
and how i was going to get there.
and since things just go the way life sets it.
and everything i planned out never works out.
im just too tired and too drained to put effort into shifting my own path.
so im just going to sit back and just live day by day and see what comes my way.
but deep inside i do still have that urge to pull through. but the other side is soo certain to just give in and not try so hard as i use to. too much conflict with myself makes me tired and i really just want to sit back and just enjoy my life. but i guess the struggle comes in when the people i want in my life arent in my life. so what am i suppose to do? move agian? and struggle? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. good friends are soo hard to let go. but what can i do. im not motivated. times like these suck hardcore. can i get some pink swans though? haha
_deNnis_
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| not sure.not sure what to do with my life anymore.
not sure where i want to go.
which path to take.
i was so sure of what i wanted to do.
and how i was going to get there.
and since things just go the way life sets it.
and everything i planned out never works out.
im just too tired and too drained to put effort into shifting my own path.
so im just going to sit back and just live day by day and see what comes my way.
but deep inside i do still have that urge to pull through. but the other side is soo certain to just give in and not try so hard as i use to. too much conflict with myself makes me tired and i really just want to sit back and just enjoy my life. but i guess the struggle comes in when the people i want in my life arent in my life. so what am i suppose to do? move agian? and struggle? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. good friends are soo hard to let go. but what can i do. im not motivated. times like these suck hardcore. can i get some pink swans though? haha
_deNnis_
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| soo..........my birthday is in a few days.
_deNnis_
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