d_ciao's Xanga

The Gift of Worship

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:18:06 GMT

Two weeks ago, a friend and I attended a different church for service. They showed this video at the very beginning, prior to beginning worship. I genuinely appreciated the sheer simplicity of how the worship team led that Sunday. As I watched this video, I began to realize how desensitized I've become to the true meaning of worship... how my definition of "good worship" had slowly, over the years, turned into something that was about how good the vocalists and instrumentalists were, how well the A/V settings were adjusted, and what songs we were singing. I'll admit that I'm ashamed of how I've let something so sacred and intimate become so technical and meaningless.

This video slapped me in the face and brought me back to my senses. When did worship become all about how pleasing it would sound to our ears? How is it that we've let worship, a matchless gift, become something that is so commonly taken for granted? For myself, I think it's been an issue of singing on worship team after worship team, for event after event, and worrying too much about the stupid logistics and technicalities of how things are supposed to go. I'm positive that if I had not forgotten the reason why I was doing it in the first place, I would've loved it so much more. It would've meant so much more. After all, it shouldn't even be called "worship" if it's all about the people and the sound. It's supposed to be liberating, not stressful. Worship encompasses the idea of intimacy with God, and our acknowledgement that we are His children, and of all that He is. It is when we lay down everything before him, and just be.

To be brief, the true meaning of worship is going to be something that I seek and try to focus on when I serve in the future. I'm tired of singing without a purpose.

I apologize for the lack of coherency in this post... I'm really tired, but I strongly felt that I needed to say something about it.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:37:02 GMT

OH NOESSSSSSSS, CHIPMUNK D!

Handicapped

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 15:42:19 GMT

Ah... the long weekend has passed. How unfortunate. I'm tired. Anyway, I was reminded this weekend of why I never get manicures. It's because I ruin my nails the second I leave the salon. I hate not being able to do things with my hands afterward. It's just not possible. My mom pretty much had to do everything for me... put my bag on my shoulder, open the car door, put on my seatbelt... it was so annoying, and I hated that I couldn't do it by myself. Is this how royalty is? 'Cause it frickin' sucks! I felt so disabled. I ended up having to go back to the place to get two of my nails redone because I ruined them so badly. And I just ruined another two sometime in between last night and this morning. I really do suck at being a girl sometimes. I don't even know how they're not all going to get ruined tomorrow night at softball practice... especially my left hand, where I'll be wearing a batting glove AND my fielding glove on top. GG.

My internal alarm clock both screws me and saves me. It screwed me yesterday when I wanted to sleep in 'cause I hadn't slept in allllllll weekend... but I frickin' woke up at 8-ish for absolutely no reason, even though I was dead tired... and I couldn't fall back to sleep. It was annoying as hell! So I flopped around for about two hours before I finally decided to just give in and get up. Needless to say, I was tired for the whole day, and very easily irritated to say the least. However, it saved me this morning because I totally forgot to set my alarm clock last night... this could've turned out very badly. But my internal alarm clock woke me up at 6:55... which was perfect. But at that point, I decided to set my alarm for 7:20 so I could get in some extra shut-eye. Then I was late for work. GG, again.

New toy!

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:58:41 GMT

It's true. I've been converted.

More about this later... when I actually stop being so confused about this new OS. I need some time to sulk right now because I really friggin' miss my dog.

Puppy Love

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:26:16 GMT

So this was my Mel Lastman Square experience. It was ooooookay. Why is my hair so... orange? Disgusting.

Anyway, I'm super sad because we're giving away my dog... I posted a picture a long time ago, but just in case you don't remember her in all her sickeningly (is that a word?) cute splendour:

Now do you understand why I'm sad? That's my dog, Hailey. Okay - I'm not a superficial dog owner, I'm not gonna miss her just because she's cute. She's pretty much the best dog EVER... and it always made my day a little bit brighter when she'd wait for me at the door whenever she heard my key turning. I'm even gonna miss the way she always poops on the couch whenever we're out for too long and she gets pissed. Damn. I spent all my life begging my parents for a dog. A year later I finally convinced them, we have to give her away. That's pretty gay. Well, she's going to my old piano teacher's place... and we're pretty tight, so I will be visiting often. But... boo. I love my dog, and I'm going to miss her a hell of a lot. BIG FAT SAD FACE.

Brawl'd Out

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:56:12 GMT

Call me a nerd, but I just spent Friday and Sunday night of this past weekend at my best friend's house playing...

I can't say that I'm particularly good at it, but prior to this weekend, I've never touched it in my life. I'm currently mastering the art of using Kirby... who I liken to Peter from Heroes, 'cause he can steal other peoples' powers. I'm kind of at the stage where I keep using the same three moves over and over again... for lack of better knowledge of any special "combos", but I'm getting there! I also like the fact that I can float away from people and also save myself from any suicidal attempts off the platform/stage. My kill count is pretty sporadic... sometimes I'll get 0 kills, but other times, I'll get anywhere from 4 to 6 kills. Therefore, the guys didn't really want to be on my team. HAHA. In my defence... I'm still learning. I'll pwn all you dinguses, and you'll all be fighting to the death to have me on your teams. Chyeaaaa.

I bought batting gloves at the National sale this weekend for $9... my Asian "sweet deal" instinct at its best. Softball this hasn't been as intense as it has been other years, mostly because we have a lot of new and younger players this year. We've been trying our best, but our record is already lower than it has been... but that's okay. It's still been uber fun. My hitting has gotten significantly better this year... I think I owe it to my bat. Haha. We have a few photographers that come around the games every so often, and it seems that they always catch me in the most retarded of poses.

Somebody please tell me why I'm doing that. Please.

Either that, or I'm just making some extremely unflattering face...

LAWL.

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about girls checking out other girls, and whether or not guys did the same. I know for a fact that there are many girls that like to give the "one-down" when they first see another girl. Their eyes kinda sweep you from head-to-toe, and the face that comes after the "one-down" will determine whether or not they approve... and usually, they do not. Girls generally do not like for other girls to be prettier, dress better, or have a hotter boyfriend than them. It poses a threat. It leads to assumptions and completely irrational judgements. It leads to...

...except of the female variety. "N****, WHAT?"

Which leads me to wonder... do guys do this, too? Or is it just the innate catty nature of girls that provokes this defensive instinct? Hmmmmm... clue me in, boys. Inquiring minds would like to know.

EDIT: Okay. I think some people are misunderstanding my question... haha. Or rather, I may have phrased it in a different way than I was thinking it. What I meant was... is there anything that guys do to kind of like... "size each other up"? Haha... whether you take that literally or not, that's kinda what I meant.

A Little Taste of Awesome

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:55:09 GMT

I'm pretty sure that I always knew that I was going to be a science kid. Not arts, not business... but science, which is one spot down from engineering on the list of "programs-that-you-may-fail-in-university". So when university began, I knew that I was never going to get to experience the sheer joy of having a day off. I knew I'd always be up to my eyebrows in lectures, labs, and tutorials... there was no escape.

BUT ALAS, I think I have found an escape. In third year, I'm going to have Tuesdays off in the fall term, and I quite possibly may have Tuesdays AND Thursdays off in the winter term! I think I've just hit the science student jackpot. There are a few factors that have contributed to this rare phenomenon. Firstly, all my lectures and labs fall on Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays in both terms, in exception of the one 10:30-11:30 AM lab I have on Thursday mornings in the fall term. Secondly, since I was not able to enroll into any of the bio classes I wanted as they were full (cap at 40? COME ON, we're a frickin' university!)... I'm taking my bio classes at UW. My physiology class in the fall term is offered by distance ed, so I won't have to go on campus for that, and my evolution class in the winter term is offered on MWF. I'm also taking women's studies (heheheh... bird course) and developmental psych on DE, sooo... no classes for those two, either.

I'm actually feeling really blessed and thankful for this, 'cause a lot of my courses this year are rather difficult and require much reading and concentration. I'm really gonna need these days to keep up with my studying and assignments and whatnot. The fall term is really crucial for me, since I need to up my GPA to secure my spot in a specific program by the end of it. I don't think anybody realizes how intense I'm going to be. I don't even think I realize how intense I'm going to be. I'm gonna making a hell of a lot of love to my textbooks in the library. Oh, yeaaaaah.

I realize this was a boring post. Oops. I'll put on my cap of extravagance on another day.

TGIalmostF. I'm freakin' exhausted.

Mr. Utterly-amazingly-and-wonderfully-Right

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:09:01 GMT

Ladies, it seems we are on the prowl these days. On a quest. A search for the guy that we suspect will make us feel all fuzzy wuzzy inside. We're strapping on those high heels, putting on that extra little bit of make up, dragging ourselves to the gym regularly, pulling on those jeans that are tight in just all the right places--all in hope of luring a good one in. Survival of the fittest. It's a sure shot, right?

One problem: all the good ones are either taken, or have one fatal flaw, whatever it may be, that we cannot overlook. Sucks, don't it? Or maybe we've all just been looking in the wrong places. Maybe we keep swimming in the sea of the seemingly charming assholes, or wading in the pool of mediocrity. Or maybe we just have standards that are way too sky high. After relationships, you get to learn what you want and don't want in your next partner. In that sense, it makes you pickier. I know I am.

First and foremost, as a Christian, my very first criteria for Mr. Right is for him to love God more than he will ever love me. If he fully understands and lives by God's love, he will understand what it is to love and respect not just a woman, but those around him as well. This is a huge thing for me. I think I can just bunch everything else into an "other" category now.

I want him to make me laugh until I feel like hurling, and I want to be able to joke with him. I want to be able to diss (jokingly, of course) him and have him diss me back. I want him to be fun and adventurous and spontaneous... because I am. I want him to be a smidgen of a badass. I want him to think I'm really something special, and that he wouldn't want anyone else besides me. I want him to tell me that he thinks I'm beautiful, and I want to make him feel like he's the luckiest guy in the world. I want him to be strong and confident about himself... confident, not conceited. I want him to be the type of guy who can carry out awesome conversations with my parents and have them love him. I want him to love dogs and be good with children. I want him to be a gentleman... to open doors for me, to put his hand on the small of my back when we're walking together, just to be sure that I'm okay. I want him to be patient. I want him to be able to wait for me to get ready, and when he sees me, for him not to comment on how freakin' long I took, but for him to smile at me and say that it was worth the wait. I want him to be patient in the midst of a fight, and to not lose his temper even when I already have.

I have a thing for geeks and nerds, so I want him to be smart. Smarter than me, but not cocky about it. I want him to be able to teach me interesting things, and to encourage me when I'm having an academic draught. I want him to be financially stable, not because I want fancy things and expensive dinners, but because I want to be able to build a future. I want him to be athletic. I want him to be a musician.

In every list, there's always a more shallow, more superficial item... and for me, it's his sense of style. This is that fatal flaw that I cannot overlook. A guy without a good sense of style is a deal-breaker. I can't stress how important this is. It's such a turn-off when I see a guy that doesn't look clean and well-put-together. Even if a guy is perfect in every other sense BUT doesn't dress well, that will hold me back. I won't lie, I know it's superficial. But if I make that effort to present myself nicely, then I want to be able to find someone who can do that, too. Oh, and a nice smile is a must-have.

But hey, like I said... these guys don't seem to exist anymore. Or they're all taken. Why is it so hard these days? It seems the new status quo for guys is to be an asshole. Or just plain stupid. Who says that nice guys always finish last? If I found a nice guy, he'd definitely be first in my books. I know I sound like I'm asking a lot, and that my standards are impossibly high. You see, it's because I've come to realize what I know I deserve. And I refuse to settle for anything less. So... yes, I know he will be hard to find. But until then, here's my game plan: wait it out. After all, there really is a time for everything.

Gadgets and Gizmos

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:21:27 GMT

I really have been MIA for a while, and for that, I apologize. I've been busy being trampled over by work, course selections (the bane of my existence), and softball. Now, where were we?

To be honest, I'm quite happy with life right now. Despite some circumstances that I can't change and that require a lot of time, patience, and faith, I've learned to appreciate the smaller things in life that we otherwise overlook. It's all simple stuff. Hanging out with friends is always a joy, even if it's doing nothing at all. Chilling with my mom... 'cause she's amazing. Playing softball and not caring too much about maintaining a record, but having fun.

Above all, I've been blessed with amazing people. I think the two people I owe it most to right now are my mom and my best friend. They're just brimming with awesomeness.

One thing I do wanna do this summer, though, is meet some new people. I feel like I'm living in a bubble all the time. So we'll see how that goes. ADVENTURE TIME!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am now the proud owner of a...

Yes, a first generation Apple iPhone. My brother is awesome, so he looked up postings for me on the internet (actually, it's because he was supposed to sell me his, but punked me out and sold it to his friend instead... I know, right?), and found a guy that was actually not sketchy (such a rarity) who wanted to sell his iPhone. Now... I know a bunch of you are probably gawking at your computer and thinking, "D! WHAT THE EFF, ARE YOU DUMB?! Why would you not get the 3G instead?!" Well, friends... despite my full-time co-op placement, I still consider myself a starving university student. I'd been saving up quite some time for this phone, and thought long and hard before making the big purchase. That being said, I don't have the money to be letting Rogers reach its grimey little hands into my bank account to rip me off. I refuse to pay for a ridiculously expensive data plan, and I have no use for GPS. Contrary to popular belief, not all women have a poor sense of direction, and I take pride in the fact that I'm able to navigate myself around without too much trouble.

D's letter grade for the 1st gen Apple iPhone: A

This phone is relatively user-friendly and keeps me organized. I love the fact that I can use WiFi wherever I go, provided I can find a network to connect to. I love that I can install/download games to keep me occupied. However, I don't like how it's so huge. Other than that, "very niiiiiiice, I like!" (à la Borat).

D teaches Xanga and friends how to spell and write

It's "definitely", NOT "definately".
It's "could have, should have, would have", NOT "could of, should of, would of".
It's "thIEf", NOT "thEIf".
There IS a difference between "either" and "neither".
"You're" and "your" are not to be used interchangeably.

I could seriously go on forever. But c'mon, boys and girls. It's not that hard! Please, please correct your spelling, writing, and grammatical errors, 'cause...

And we don't want that now, do we?

Okay, so here's something I never really understood. In movies, the new kid always ends up eating lunch in a toilet stall after a failed attempt of joining a group in the cafeteria. The best example I can think of is Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls... she does it twice. Now help me understand something--I don't know about the USA... but in Canada, there are no toilet seat covers in our high schools. However, I always see this whole "eating lunch in the bathroom" scene in movies as if there was no issue with sitting on a dirty toilet seat to consume one's meal. I've narrowed it down to three options of how this blasphemous act would go down (punny!):

1. The person is, indeed, sitting on a grimey toilet seat with their pants ON, with no toilet seat cover
2. The person is, indeed, sitting on a grimey toilet seat with their pants OFF, with no toilet seat cover
3. The high school is ballllllllin', allowing for a budget for toilet seat covers, and the world makes sense once again

Personally, I hope it's not option #2... 'cause that's just plain weird. And sick. Dutty to the max.

Or maybe there's a whole other world in those toilet stalls that we don't know about. And maybe it looks a little something like this:

Hmmmm.... appetizing.

One last note... I'm super psyched for this upcoming Saturday 'cause I'm singing here:

Obviously, it's no Madison Square Gardens, but... I've never sang at an outdoor venue before, so I'm excited to find out how that will go. Again, sorry the picture sucks.

The Whirlpool of Doom

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:28:35 GMT

Yesterday, I flushed my keys down a toilet at a restaurant. I'm serious. I'd put my wristlet, keys, and sunglasses on top of the toilet (not sure how sanitary that could've been considering it was an Asian restaurant) since there was no hook on the stall door. After I finished my business, I stood up to flush, and proceeded to grab my things from the top of the toilet. I somehow side-swiped my keys, which then swiftly fell into the flushing whirlpool of doom. I panicked for about 30 seconds before I started laughing at how freakin' ridiculous the situation was. I mean, a toilet had just sucked my car keys, house keys, and gas tag (and the bottom portion of my lanyard, if you will) into the sewage system. So I ran outside with this huge grin on my face towards my friend (or so he says I did), and reported the situation. He hand promptly flew to his face in an utter "D, you're such a tool" type of way, and laughed. I then told some of the waiters at the restaurant (not awkward at ALL), who actually handed me a rubber glove and a chopstick, and suggested that I try to fish it out. DISGUSTING!!! I didn't do it... I called up my brother to bring me a spare key, and then we sauntered off to play some good ol' softball.

Lies. I did do it. I definitely put on that glove and shoved my arm down the toilet. I also definitely poked around with that chopstick just for good measure. Oh, yeaaaaaaaaahh. Attractive, no? Future profession? Anyway, I came up with nothing. It was then that I called up my brother, who so lovingly called me an "effing dumbass" before bringing me a spare key. And THEN we sauntered off to play some good ol' softball. So concluded my adventure. Pwned hard, but... good times, good laughs. Why am I such a noob?

I seem to write about bathrooms and toilets a lot. It's all a coincidence, I swear.

Happy belated Canada day, eh?