And you will never know what I am keeping inside.
But it's becoming something I no longer can hide.
I never would have thought that just three simple
words could ruin an incredible freindship.
I know that you will never love me back, but I
just feel that God's intending this.
The thing is, is that I know I don't deserve you.
You deserve someone who is wise, beautiful, and
everything that I'm not.
So maybe it's better like this. You have an amazing
girlfreind that is loves you. Yes she loves you. And
so do I. But I will not complicate your relationship
with her. Or me. To tell you the truth I couldn't
handle my lifestyles without you. You are the reason
why I have so much motivation and strive again.
And I never thought that I would get that feeling back,
but there it is. You did that for me. Maybe that's what
God had planned for us... so that you could help me
with my terrible habits. All I can do is wait and see
what this world has stored for me.
Just those three simple words could finish everything.

Random Thoughts...

Here's to the pain he causes, and there's to the drinks he gives to let it down.



I see him.
He fauns over her.
I bond with him and give it my all
but then he falls for his fantasy.
I want to be your fantasy.



In our lifetime everyone trys to figure out a reason that's worth living for,
you find the one who makes your day's feel like your living a dream.
I could get lost in that dream and never return to harsh reality.



In the end, we only regret the moments we didn't take, and fufill the relationships we were afraid to have and the desicions we waited too long to make.



You used to be my latenight call
you used to hold me and wrap me up when I fall
You would always have just the right thing to say when I was feeling down.
Cheering you up was not just a first time around.
We made people jealous of the relationship that we shared, and now you don't even care.
We used to call without a doubt, we used to have all this sorted out.
And now we call with every doubt.
We don't have this sorted out.
Why can't we get it back to how we used to be ?

-two-
i cheat to make the pieces fit in the puzzle of reality
in life there's never a perfect solution for anything
but you just have to work around the broken pieces,
and even break the rules if it's necessary. Do anything
to see a picture in your puzzle.

THR33
I give my respect to the people who base their lives
off of what they've experienced. And no matter how
much they've hurt inside, they're always willing to do
whatever is needed to make sure knowone else goes
through what they have kept secret.


4OUR
Here it goes. I know you've moved on for good, but there are things you don't know, things that I don't show; things that I hide inside. I know to you it seems like I didn't care, seems like I was never there, but there was never once a day that you didn't cross my mind a million times. & believe me, if I could go back, I would, but things are different now. Time caught up with us & broke us apart, cause now you found someone else. But that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is that you left me & that I left you, with words unspoken & a story unread. Words that are still trying to escape my heart & reach out to you, words that don't notice that time has past; words that still have meaning. What bothers me is that you didn..t see the tears I cried & you didn..t know that I lied when I told you I was happy. What bothers me is that you still cross my mind a million times a day & even when I'm sleeping, I can still hear your voice telling me how much you actually want to be with me or how much you miss me & that's the only time I'm ever happy. It's when I..m reminiscing about you & dreaming about us. But when reality hits me, it just kills me. But the thing that bothers me the most is that all of this could..ve been prevented if I had just said something or done something, & the only thing that doesn't bother me is that I've learned a valuable lesson; you don't really know what you got until it's gone.