| AHHHHHH I'm suffering from serious post-Beijing Olympics withdrawls. My life is incomplete without hours and hours of amazing athletic feats sitting on my DVR each day! Lick on my balls, cruel cruel world! |
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| the week from hellUGH.
on the bright side, my next SB weekend getaway is the weekend of august 9th. a large part of me wants to go down that weekend .. and just stay. i know i can't because there are things i have to do before i move back down, but the idea is so tempting.
DRD |
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| i want to fall in love with a man who has a boatwhilst at lake berryessa this week, my heart was bursting with happiness as i sat on a boat in my bathing suit with my sunglasses. i've decided that nothing is better than being under the sun in your summer skin, nothing better than a vast expanse of perfect temperature lake water (except the moment where your skin makes contact with it as you jump off the boat and all is perfect with the world.) and there is nothing more satisfying than the moment when your skis lie flat and you are suddenly flying across the lake.
mmm i'm so sore all over, but lake, sun, and waterskiing are all worth it.
DRD |
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| being homein a word, frustrating.
not for the usual reasons people are unhappy to be home, namely parents and rules and lack of freedom. i have no rules and all the freedom i can ask for. it isn't those things.
it is adulthood.
it is all me.
i haven't once had that moment of thinking, "god, i'm so happy to be home." being home has been nothing but frustration, loneliness, questions (that don't really seem to have answers) and weirdness. how do you deal with coming back to the place you grew up and realizing that you don't have a life there, that the things that once sheltered you are completely exposed to the light and have disappeared? how do you deal with your high school friends moving in every direction, with letting go of the past?
i don't have answers.
what i do have, despite this awkward, tender time in my life, are my good friends from high school. i have my father, who is the best man i know. i have my mock trial coaches. i have sunny days and conversations and smiles and lunches and another beautiful year in paradise to look forward to. i have myself.
i do wonder though when this will all get better, and i honestly think that it will only truly be better when i'm back in santa barbara in the fall. life is there now. my friends are there. my apartment is there. my mock trial team is there. my glorious future is there.
sigh.
i don't mean this blog to be depressing. i'm not depressed. just dealing with my teenage years in the city dying. you know. lighthearted things.
DRD |
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