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Busted... I was caught using my Xanga...again...so I must bid adieu to this one and hope for a brighter future :sigh:

"So long, farewell, auf Wierdersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye--Goodbye!"

It's not really goodbye...just see you later

Another adventure on Monday.  Our first stop was our alma mater Morse High School.  Picked up Michelle, Vanessa, and Kayla, and headed down to the school where we met with the fabulous Erin Richards and her new Wisconsin boyfriend, Travis, who is totally hot!  He’s well off too, I might add, has this boyish look about him I guess you could say.  Way to go Ms. Richards!  I really hope things go well with them cuz Ms. Richards deserves a great guy, and this one better be it!  So we talked, got some stuff out of the dressing rooms, and Ms. Richards made us do our Grease audition dance, ugh.  It was so embarrassing, mainly cuz I didn’t feel like doing it, there was no music, and her boyfriend was watching!  We decided to go to Urban Outfitters so we could check it out and get job applications.  I called Mom to tell her I was going and said don’t be out too long.  Let’s remember that for later on shall we?  Anywho, went to drop of Kayla’s things, then hung out at Michelle’s for a bit waiting for James to get home so we could pick him up to go with us.  Urban Outfitters, yay!  I totally love that store!  So many awesome clothes, too bad I really couldn’t find my size, and lots of cute guys! LOL.  I swear one of the workers was like following me or whatever, kept asking me if I needed help, trying to make conversation.  We did another “make better” on James, looked around, played Texas Hold’em for a bit, checked the guys out, got apps, and left!  Next stop, Hillcrest, to go to Extraordinary Desserts (I think that’s what it’s called) and Shwoomp! (yes, the exclamation point is part of the name, lol.).  OMG, I totally made like an illegal move on the street, I went the wrong way on a ONE-WAY STREET!  I have never done that before!  Luckily, I quickly got off the road, and no cars were coming, but OMG, it was the scariest thing ever!  Alive, we headed to Shwoomp! and I wanted to get the shea butter moisturizer, but I felt financially insecure, having only $20 on me.  It was getting late, Kayla had to be home by 5 so we headed out, like around 3ish, and stop by In-N-Out cuz I didn’t even have lunch.  So we’re waiting for my food, and my mom calls—angry.  She said I was taking advantage of by what she said don’t be out too long which I interpreted as by dinner, but she meant like no more than an hour.  Ugh, I don’t get my parents at all!  Well, mostly my mom.  So I’m still waiting for my food, and then go to drop peeps off, and my mom calls again asking where I was, saying I should’ve left when she first called.  Get home, and get a lecture, which I totally didn’t need or want to hear.  I’m still waiting for the moment she lets go, but I don’t think she’ll ever let go until I move out.  She kept saying how I’m forcing her to treat me like a kid, but she’s the one forcing herself, not me.  That’s what I think.  She also reiterated the point about if how I don’t like it here, then I need to find a full-time job and get enough money to move out.  I only wish, but then like I have college, so that’s like totally out of the question unless I decide to not have a social life…I don’t know.  So I take a nap, semi-depressed, and wake up.  I find out that the Tri-Valley campus ministry is coming over to have dinner.  I wasn’t informed nor invited by Derek, but people kept asking about me.  I tried to be with them, but I just felt so out of place, like I didn’t belong with them.  Besides, there wasn’t anything special going on anyway, like nothing fun.  SO, I decided to watch the movie Camp with Danielle since she wanted to see it.  At first, I was uneasy because of the themes about gays/bisexuality, but I thought Danielle could handle it, but obviously my parents didn’t think so.  It’s not even that bad, she’s seen worse movies.  Just because it says “gay” “bisexuality” and “faghag” like maybe twice each, my parents totally are like .  They came at the wrong times in the movie.  I don’t see why they’re trying to protect them from what they already know.  I don’t want my little brother and sister not knowing who I am, and I want them to accept everybody for who they are and not try to change them or whatever, which is like part of the message of the movie.  Well I guess I should respect their wishes and “rules” of the house. Getting off my soapbox, Mark called, it was his “day off” and he got stitches, ouch.  Also, I called Dain earlier, breaking my “plan” to let him call me, and made  plans to see each other Thursday.  I hope all goes well.  Thanks Nick and Hugo, and everyone else who’s given me their input.  I finished the 3^rd disk of QAF Season 1, too, FABULOUS!

Today, not much.  I was supposed to go to Ms. Richards to hang out and get the T-shirt design and money, but I decided not too after yesterday’s episode with my mom.  Vanessa and Daniella came by to drop of the stuff I was supposed to pick up, and two pictures of me and Ms. Richards yay!  I’m so going to miss her, but I know we won’t lose contact.  I found out the production fee for “42^nd Street”: $250.  I think I might ask Uncle Lonnie to help me with that, cuz I really want to be in it, tap classes included!  I just don’t want to feel bad about going to him just for money, but he did say if I ever needed help with money, just ask.  I guess I have a problem with asking people to do favors for me, which is so weird cuz I’m always doing favors for people.  I feel like I’m asking for too much or something.  Well, not much planned for the rest of the day, don’t want to go out cuz I don’t want to further aggravate my mom.  We got another cable box from Cox, too, which is alright I guess.  I wonder why we started to get it again, hmmmm.

So yesterday I made a change…I went to church with Derek and Tyana instead of my parents.  I’m tired of having my parents hound me about how I have to keep my eyes open in church, and I’m by myself, too.  It was alright, but I felt out of place, like I didn’t belong there.  The good thing was, Gary and Kirk were just as sleepy as I was.  I don’t know, I feel like I don’t belong in church anymore, I felt lonely for some strange reason.  Anywho, didn’t do much afterwards.  Just played “Candle on the Water,” “Part of Your World,” and “Beauty and the Beast” a ton of times on the piano, so I can have them memorized.  I wanted to go to Urban Outfitters because I’ve never actually been there, just looked on the their online catalog, and they’re always hiring.  So I’m gonna go apply, and I pray I get the job, cuz I’ll be getting a paycheck and discounts on awesome clothes.  Supposedly supposed to meet Ms. Richards and her new Wisconsin boyfriend today at the theater, cuz she’s getting things she left behind and saying goodbye to it .  Oh yeah, I’m now responsible for Drama T-shirt affairs, like everything.  I have to re-submit the design, pick them up, and give them all out!  Yeah, looks like I’ll be Ms Richards’ personal assistant even when she’s away!  Who knows what else I have planned for myself.  Must…have…more…clothes…must…go…shopping.  OH yeah, I’m going to LA this weekend!  We’re staying for the weekend, going to Beverly Hills and Knott’s Berry Farm.  Fun!  We’re gong with the Perez’s, so me, Derek, and Tyana will have plenty of fun.  Also, there’s an audition for 42^nd Street but’s it’s aaaaaaallll the way in Oceanside, and there’s a production fee!  ARGH, I want so bad to get in it but I need money!  I wonder if they’ll have like a scholarship…I thought I’d get paid to perform, but instead, I have to pay.  Kirstie Ma’am’s now in Texas, in a very scary place actually.  It’s like totally the backdrop for a Texas Chainsaw Massacre rerun or something.  Be safe you!

Currently Watching Camp By Daniel Letterle, Joanna Chilcoat, Don Dixon (II) see related

Well, let’s start with the bad news…Dain flaked out on me again today.  It’s like the second time this week I think.  I don't want to make it sound like bad with "flake out", but yeah, I was really really bummed cuz I really needed to talk to him about us, like really important stuff, and it happens a lot, having our plans cancelled cuz he can't make it.  For those of you who I've talked to about it, you know what that "important stuff" is.  He worked 12 hours yesterday after coming from Six Flags and wanted to rest, so I can kinda understand.  It’s just that I really wanted to talk to him and give him his 6-month anniversary card…So, I told him to call me when he thinks he’ll be able or want to see me, cuz I seem to catch him at the wrong times, I guess

Good news!  Today was the Grease Cast Party at Crowne Point.  It was really great to see everyone there.  I gave Michelle and Kirstie a ride, who I like swear are my new sisters or something, lol.  But Ms. Richard’s and Mr. Duffy were already there when we got there.  Let’s see who all was there after us…Philip, Brittany, PJ & Dianne, Nina, Shaun, James, Jen, Vanessa, Robbie & Francesca and their “kids”, Alex, Chelsea, Mark & his gal, Michael, Whitney & her man, Tristin, Ashely, Nicole, and Brian.  Yeah I think that’s it, SORRY if I missed anyone!  Kayla wasn’t there cuz she had a wedding rehearsal for Jon’s sister, and Erik wasn’t there because he’s in New York.  Our time was mostly spent talking, goofing around, and eating YAY.  Mark, this guy I’ve been talking to from Xanga, called too, it was his opening night for Miss Saigon.  Yeah, were both like Broadway buffs I guess, lol.  He’s totally cool, I wish we could like meet in the future or something.  Ms. Richards gave a little farewell speech to us all, too.  She will be so missed!  What’s to become of the Drama Department back at Morse is still a myster…I SO want to go back and like take charge or something, lol.  Anywho, I took Kirstie early around 3 cuz she had to go to a rehearsal.  Came back, did some more shmoozing, and we all decided to head out.  Me, Vanessa, Michelle, and James decide to go Hillcrest, Target, and Plaza Bonita, while everyone else went to Mission Beach.  So we go to Hillcrest and I explained to James what a “twink” was, lol.  It was so funny, because he kept pointing at guys asking me if he’s a twink or not.  I was like getting embarrassed, so he like started calling guys “pancakes”, which was even more embarrassing!  He did it everywhere we went!  Anyway, we went to Buffalo Exchange, Muffy, and Shwoomp I think that’s how you spell it.  I love Shwoomp!  Smells so good, so cute!  I’m probably gonna go back and get the Shea butter moisturizer, cuz I need it!  Oh yeah, I’ve gotten SO SO dark!  Yeah, anyway, went to Target to exchange the cork/dry-erase board, dropped of ‘Nessa at Starbucks then hit Plaza Bonita to give James a makeover with the help of Michelle at Robinson’s May, American Eagle, and Hollister.  The clothes we picked out really were hot on him.  I hope you were taking notes James!  So we take everyone home, listenin’ to Hairspray, of course.  Oh yeah, I actually listened to the radio today!  Like whenever I or we go out, we’re always listenin to some soundtrack or cast recording, lol.  On the way home I picked up Queer as Folk Season 1, Volume 3.  Yeah, gonna be watching it tonight.  Jen came by when I got home, which was really nice, cuz we got to talk about the drama in our lives and just be together, since we don’t get to see each other that much.  She’s my best friend, I totally consider her like a sister.  We talked and she treated me to some Jack-in-the-Box, Mark called again, his opening night went great, and we parted.

SO, I got Camp on DVD finally.  I know, I know, for some of you musical theatre freaks like me who have seen it, it’s like totally stereotypical, but I love it, mostly because of the songs, the sorta cute story, the super cute David Letterle, and the message.  My favorite song is “Here’s Where I Stand”, it’s like totally my anthem.  That little line up on my banner “Love me, but don’t tell me who I have to be” is from that song, so yeah!  Also, I’ve been starting to play more piano now.  My sight-reading is getting faster, which is good.  I might take a beginner course at SDSU.  Well gtg take a shower and watch stay up till everyone goes to sleep to watch QAF.  Tata!