this morning when i woke up, i felt wonderful.  i still do.  hopefully this is something that will last.  especially since i have so much stuff to do and get figured out.  tomorrow i am mailing a deferment request for my loans.  i really don't see how they will be able to deny me when they see my payment to income ratio, but there is always that fear that something will go wrong.  if this place approves me i get automatic approval from the other place.  think good thoughts for me. 

tonight we need to get groceries, carve pumpkins, and get flu shots.  pretty sure sami is going to get one.  we had a long talk about it and she decided it would probably be ok.  if so, we can add getting ice cream to the list of tonights activities.

oh, and our dryer broke a couple of days ago.  my dad is so cute because he called me yesterday to ask about it and it was obvious that he didn't want to offend jared by stepping in to check it out, but that he really wanted to take a look at it.  he came over and figured out the problem (burnt wires and stuff), now we just have to see if it is fixable.  he is going to talk to someone today and let us know.  add that to the 'to do' list.

i am also going to finish cleaning the house (hopefully).  i got so fed up with jared's clothes being on the bedroom floor that yesterday i decided to put it all in trash bags and shoved it into the closet.  some clean, some dirty.  i didn't care.  he gets up for work at 4, so there is no light and he had trouble finding stuff in the bags this morning.  he kept breathing heavy and making annoyed sounds.  i wanted to say, "if you would pick up your crap, you wouldn't have this problem".  instead, i just pretended to be asleep and smiled to myself.  maybe that is why i am in such a good mood today.

Currently Listening Social Distortion By Social Distortion see related

i have began looking for a job.  it isn't as easy as i had hoped it would be.  childcare around here isn't cheap so i would have to make a lot to justify it.  plus we only have one car and my husband has to take it to work.  thus i am looking for an evening job.  all these years of struggling to get an education and i am probably going to end up working at a grocery store or something like that.  not to be down on people who do.  it's just frustruating. 

in unrelated news... i am grumpy about the new season of law & order : ci.  still only every other episode featuring det. goren.  i don't care how weathered (worn to hell as my husband puts it) he has become.  vincent d'onofrio does it for me.  he does it well.

today i am officially, officially done with school.  i just took my final online and am feeling a lot of relief.  now that i have gotten a degree i feel a little better about myself.  i mean, i didn't exactly feel like crap before, it was just a difficult situation.  i always hated having to explain to people when they would ask, "why have you been in college for so long?".  i was never sure where to start....  the child, the lack of affordable childcare, the working two jobs, the lack of money....?  samantha has taken my life on quite an adventure.  i haven't done so many of the things that i dreamed about when i was younger.  on the other hand, i have done some things that i never could have dreamed of.  i would be lying to say that i haven't given up a lot of things.  who wants to be in college for twice as long as most people?  i've never been waiting in line to give up a big chunk of my freedom.  she has made the pay-off so huge though.  it's true love at its best and i don't regret a thing.    

well, i finally did it.  i'm not sure if i can even describe how huge that day was. 

celebrating with my sweetheart that night.  or was it the night before?... the weekend was a blur.

oh, and last week this is what my bedroom wall looked like...

look carefully and you can see part of the guttering next to the window.  that's right, you can see OUTSIDE.  as in THERE WAS A HOLE CLEAR TO THE OUTDOORS.

i need a vacation.