ok, well, it is almost the end of the year. again, if you were reading my real log(yes, it is here at xanga), you'd see the pies and meals i been making, the strange dreams, hear about the moron neighbors (who are now gone!!!), that we will be building in new mexico in 2003 and moving out there in 2004!!! if you haven't switched over, then you have been missing pictures, artwork, fun tricks and old stories.

hope everyone is doing well! happy holiday season!

ahhhhhhhh.

it's one of those sticky warm days where my husband tries to give me a kiss on my neck. i fight him off cause i can tell i am salty with sweat.

i hope everyone has been reading the other log. i have been making some awesome food!

this weekend, for new orleaners. the executive steel band will be playing at the blue nile on saturday evening. i'll probably go, and my hunni, seanmeister; jaxrowan, and her husband. the girl in the band was a schoolmate of mine. saw her the other day and she is prego with her second kid. there will porobably be a cover charge and i am not quite sure what time to go out there yet, figuring on 7-9pm. if i get there before they go on, we may be able to get in for free. this band is neat, it is like calypso music. the lead in the band, roland, is a showman all the way. he really gets people up and dancing.

so. xanga has opened up another service. will we get ditched, and why should i pay for premium if it's going toward the new service?

i wonder how hard it will be to get my log saved. i do not have premium, but way back when we started on xanga, it said "don't worry about your stuff, if you ever want it, you can request it."

has anyone tried this yet? or have they switched it over to only allow premium members to do that?

another friend is prego......but i am waiting to announce the person until she is further along.

ah... the damp hot weather is back upon us. i guess i needed it, waking up early does a body good.

i wake up if i start to sweat and i wake up if my throat has been dried out by the a/c. i think iprefer to wake up hot and just take a shower. i guess that's why camping is so fun.

i was a cleaning tornado yesterday. 'made groceries', too, half for the camping trip, half for home. the day seemed to zoom by and i still hadn't felt like i did enough, but after i broke a candle...which shoulda been packed away like everything else i own, i lost momentum. actually, no, they were crappy candles, they don't stay lit anymore. birthday gift from about 4 or 5 years ago.

got just about all the food and gear completely packed for the vacation.

first day of spring is wednesday, so me and jax will be off celebrating it since everyone else will be at work. we'll prep the solar shower (baking soda and warm water). and possibly go fly a kite. and she offered to help me get my house straightened. those of you with depression know how much that means. it's a big step for a busy friend to actually say they can and will help you. that is why i was a tornado yesterday. just knowing i didn't have to do it all by myself helped bring me up, until the candle slammed me back down.

plan on havin a date this weekend with my hunnie to go see the movie iceage. our neighborhood spiderholic says it was funny, i can't wait!

oh, and i almost forgot, i met a very nice lady in the store yesterday who informed me that walmart (the big one) beats other stores' prices, just bring in the ad. she let me borrow her ad that had grapes on it for 97 cents a pound. renews my hope for humanity. someone not being selfish, looking out for someone else, amazing. it's rare here in the big cities where it's all about the rat race.

come to find out jax told me she enjoys helping her friends. paula, you still there, you hear that? i didn't know that!!! for years she always fussed about being here there and everywhere, so i didn't want to be 'one of those people pulling her.' she said, i was different. i told her i wish i'd have known that. i have been in a slump for five years, not being able to pull myself out of it, thinking my bestfriend was bored with me and that she felt we had nothing to learn from each other anymore. it kinda sucks though, cause i told her i was there for her, especially these past couple years and she hardly gave me the time of day. i know it wasn't about me going over to house, i have a car and i was busy doing stuff with her 'bestfriend' (a roomate of hers) and nephew and then her sister-in-law. now that she's moving we are friends again. i do think it is silly that we went for so long without being friends. i guess cause i said i didn't want to get too attached cause she was moving, but jax, that didn't mean stop being my bestfriend. i still gave you everything i learned, but it never seemed to matter coming from me. lots of times you wouldn't even acknowledge the information until someone else gave it to you. and yes, i'll be printing this one out for you, that way you won't forget that i really have always been here for you. and have been waiting. you are stronger in a lot of things that i need to get straight emotionally first. and i need your help to get straight. you have always had someone (rickie, tony, troy, sisters, etc.), i have only had you and sean and brandi. and they can't take it all if they don't understand the clinical depression.

yae! happy friday everyone!!! i haven't much energy to post this morning. i ended up waking early because i can't let sleeping dogs lie.

i asked my husband to pop a piece of mail in the box. he's like "i'll bring it to work, and mail it there (two cities away)."

so i was thinking about it, "oh, wait, with all this anthrax, i don't want it to be postmarked from somewhere else and not get to where it's going..."

so of course i got up. and to find out whatelse i did this morning, read the deathlog. it has to do with neighbors again. (it was camera related, so i put it there)