Desert Storm

Here I am
Once again in this desert land
A sand storm has arisen
And I can no longer see Your face
Or feel Your embrace
But I know Your grace is upon me
I have become numb
Or so it seems
But I can see the blood from my wounds soaking my shirt
Am I moving forward
I feel like I am just standing still
My mind is empty
I feel so void
As the dust clears
Your face appears
I fall to the dust
Weeping
My tears wet the sand
I feel so unworthy to see Your face
To be in Your presence

But it’s the only place I want to be
It is the only place that feels like home

Your love is consistent for me
Even when mine is not for You
Directed by all the world says I should be
But my heart just screams
PURITY
So to my knees I fall
Hiding my face from you
My despair cries out
As my voice falls silent
All I want is You
With You alone
I shall be satisfied
And all my needs will be met
For You
Pain is worth enduring
And love is worth understanding

I feel everything
But nothing at all
My mind is a mess of thoughts
But it's as empty as can be
Confusion has settled in
I know that You're here
But I wonder where You are
Am I ok
I can't say anymore
When did the world stop making sense
Where do I go from here
I feel lost in the dark
Will I ever find my way out
I feel numb
But I'm full of pain
It makes no sense to me
I just want to run away
But no matter where I run
I can't get away from myself
So where can I go
To escape what I cannot explain

In this darkened room
I hear Your steps
They sound so very far
In my brokenness I cry
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHY DO I HURT SO BAD?
DONT YOU HEAR ME?
I NEED YOU!
I can see myself
On my knees
Blood pours from my inner being
So thick it's almost black
Soaking into this white marble floor
Is this dying to myself?
Is this taking up my cross?
Am I feeling that pain?
Is that what this is?
I know You're here
But the pain is so bad
I'm going numb
I can't feel You
Are you holding me?
I am screaming to You
I NEED YOU!
MEND ME PLEASE!
I can't walk
Not on my own
Please come to my aid
Brighten this darkened room
With Your grace